sabotabby: (teacher lady)
 Almost right on schedule, my first back-to-school anxiety nightmare of August. It was not as bad as most, probably because I've been in school-anxiety-mode for a year now and my brain hasn't had a stretch of not being stressed out and anxious. Anyway, it was almost interesting so I'll share it.

First day of class. My classes, as per usual nightmares, were huge, and the kids kept drifting in and out and coming in late and wouldn't stay still or give me their names. One girl had recently lost her brother in a shooting, another had lost her mother three weeks earlier. Her mother's grave was located right beside the classroom, and she had brought several large bouquets of purple lilies that clashed with the red and white flowers on the grave. She kept getting up to shift the flowers around, or curling up in a fetal position to cry.

The principal had decided that class would begin with a personal address from her, and so I was supposed to wait until she arrived to start. But she was late, and the kids were already complaining that they were bored, so I did an icebreaker activity. It was called Millennials Are Killing X and you had to go around a circle and say a thing Millennials are killing and why. For example, "Millennials are killing the housing market because they spend on their money on smashed avocado toast and lattes. I thought it was hilarious but the kids didn't get it, and then I remembered that the Millennials had been years ago and the kids didn't know what they were.

:)

Jan. 12th, 2015 02:55 pm
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (socialism with a human face)
Today has not been utter shit! This is gr8 because I expected utter shit.

Most important is that things are looking up for our hospitalized kid. He is stable and they were going to try to get him off life support today. So, fingers crossed.

It remains a tragic situation. The family is cash-strapped; we are taking up a collection for them. Both parents work and the mother isn't even getting any time off. I can't even imagine.

In less life-or-death news, my film class continued to be pants. Tomorrow is their last chance to demonstrate to me that they can actually use a fucking camera, so hopefully they'll get their shit together.

On the plus side, a good many of the kids in other classes are in proper panic mode and actually getting work done. So. Yay?

I did nothing all weekend except solder a thing. I fuckered my legs and spine running up and down the stairs, and fuckered my brain worrying about my kids. Bah. At least I'm in proper panic mode and finally getting things done.

I just really hope I don't need to flunk more than half of my film kids.
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (Jew jokes)
This is not my holiday. Why am I doing so much running around? Shouldn't this be the point in the year where I get to kick back and be like, "hey, you guys have the stress in exchange for being the dominant culture?" No?
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (red flag over TO)
ford watch 0 days photo fordwatch0_zps2241dfef.jpg

I'm not sure my humble FordWatch ticker can keep pace with the flurry of laughable bumblefuckitude committed by our Honourable Drunk-Driving, Wife-Beating, Bird-Flipping, Gay-Hating, Sexually-Assaulting Mayor lately. I may have to call it a day. I just can't keep up.

First, we have Ford weighing in with a characteristic amount of stupid on the Richard Kachkar murder trial. It's interesting that he rejects the idea that a person might have a mental illness that interferes with his ability to understand the consequences of his actions. I am not a psychiatrist—or even a juror, thank fuck—and don't know whether Kachkar is mentally incompetent, but I certainly believe there are people out there too mentally ill to be held criminally accountable for their actions. Probably more than are "let off" for that reason. The reason why it's interesting is that, as the next story inevitably unfolds, Ford's defenders will claim that the mental illness of addiction alleviates his personal responsibility.

Secondly, on Tuesday, the Star broke a story of the HWB being asked to leave a military ball because he was shitfaced drunk, and quoted sources within the mayor's inner circle that claim he has a drinking problem. Naturally, Ford went with his default reaction and denied everything. Details continue to emerge, but his pattern of behaviour does suggest either serious mental illness or substance abuse or both.

It's my prediction that he, or his brother, will have to eventually admit that this story is true, and that he'll make some show of suffering similar to his attempts to deal with his weight. And there will be a chorus of liberal sympathy, just like there was when he went on a diet, because after all, addiction is a mental health issue.

The thing is, as someone with mental health issues myself, albeit not addiction, personal responsibility is still a real thing. (Do I sound conservative? I'm a bit conservative in that respect.) I believe all drugs should be decriminalized and that addiction be treated as a medical, rather than criminal issue. I also believe that driving while intoxicated ought to be punished criminally with the same severity as if you'd shot a gun off in a crowded square and somehow had the good fortune to not hit anyone. Ford's issues, whatever they are, materially and tangibly affect people's lives. By removing this one drunkard from office, stat, think of how many other people—low-income, homeless, mentally ill, addicted—we would be helping. His addiction can't be blamed for his racism, his homophobia, his sexism, his vendetta against leftists and cyclists and pedestrians and anyone who isn't a rich sports-loving SUV-driving straight white man from Etobicoke. That's all on him. I hope that he, like other addicts, can get the help he needs (ironically, since he's all for cutting those sorts of "gravy" supports, or what's left of them), but it has to come after the dipshit's been removed from office.

Lastly, the school where he coaches football is also fed up with this bullshit, and who can blame them?
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (sad panda by a softer world)
It's a measure of exactly how catastrophically bad my day was, and by extension what a sheer clusterfuck my life has become, that the Honourable Wife-Beater was finally turfed from office today and this news failed to bring me even the tiniest sliver of hope or happiness, even for a moment.

That's how much things suck, and they will not get better.

This should have been my happy day.

Also

Jun. 25th, 2012 11:54 am
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (bones by arianadii)
I'm still uncomfortable with the concepts and rhetoric that make up Mad Pride.
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (sad panda by a softer world)
Error: Out of spoons. Please reboot.


Image tangential, but I thought it was neat.
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (clean all the things)
panic attacks
Hyperbole and a Half.

Sometimes I think that Allie is the same person as me, except substantially funnier and more talented.
sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (bones by arianadii)
[livejournal.com profile] pofflewomp linked me to Depression: Curse of the Strong, which is a good, plain-language discussion of what clinical depression is. (Irritating website alert, though; turn your speakers off.) It cuts right to the heart of the bootstrapping, pull-your-self-together advice that you get all the time if you have any sort of mental illness, and for that alone, I felt that it deserves a signal boost.

When you think about it, it is not surprising. If a weak, cynical or lazy person is put under pressure and suffers a set of stresses, he will immediately give up, so he never gets stressed enough to become ill. On the contrary, if the strong type I have described is put under stress, he will go on and on and on, constantly striving, way beyond the point that the body (or more specifically the limbic system) is designed for. Eventually the wheels begin to fall off and symptoms appear. At this point the averagely strong person with a solid self-esteem will stop and say something like, ~'Hang on, this is silly, I'm making myself ill, others are going to have to pitch in and take some of the strain". So he pulls back a bit and thus avoids illness.
...

That is what this condition is - a blown fuse. In my view, understanding this is crucial.


So, what do you do? Well, the first and most crucial action is to stop fighting it, give in. This of course is anathema to the sort of person who finds himself in this awful state. After all, he has overcome every other difficulty or challenge he has faced in his life by effort and diligence, to give in is unthinkable. In any case, all his friends and even loving family will be offering their homespun wisdom : "Go on, pull yourself together, get more interests, get yourself out more, get more friends, come and have a party."

I can guarantee, if you take this advice, you will get worse.


Anyway, have a read.

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