sabotabby: tulip pointing a gun (preacher)
[personal profile] sabotabby
On a more trivial note (yes, yes, the world is ending, and I'm blogging about telly), I really enjoyed hate-watching Defenders. Which is to say that it was nearly all shit except for the scene where Luke Cage teaches Iron Fist about white privilege. I mean, I can't believe I wasted like 8 hours of my life but in the same way, it made me feel like a better writer because I didn't write it.



Here are the things I hated in particular:

1) Zero character development for anyone. Which would be fine if the action sequences were good, but those were choppy to disguise Finn Jones' lack of martial arts training.

2) SO MUCH BICKERING. This isn't fucking Seinfeld; this is a superhero show. I don't want to see the heroes bicker, I want to see them punch stuff. I don't want to see the villains bicker, I want to see them murder people.

3) Really, you're going to have Luke fucking Cage be the one concerned with property destruction?

4) What's the point of the Black Sky oh yeah to remind me of how much I hate Elektra.

5) The villains are like ludicrously underpowered compared to the heroes. I don't want to watch a bunch of 20-something heroes battle with a gaggle of whiny geriatrics, especially one who is dying of all the things. What's next, invulnerable hero punches out a granny in a walker?

6) Because of this, I couldn't believe that the villains posed any threat to our heroes, and neither could the writers, because the worst they could do was pathetically threaten the loved ones and sidekicks, leading to the horrible plot device of having to gather all the loved ones and sidekicks together. Among other things, this drove home how similar they all were in personality. The Hand should have just bombed the precinct to show what a stupid plot that was.

7) OH GREAT ANOTHER OVERPOWERED POC WOMAN WHO MUST BE REINED IN FOR HER OWN GOOD BY A STRAIGHT WHITE DUDE kill me now.

8) The dialogue was so bad. I'd compare it to the dialogue in the comics from which the show draws its canon, but to be honest, it's far worse than that. Case in point: Two back-to-back scenes where a villain tells a hero to save their strength. Were there no script editors? It's excusable in comics because they're written to a deadline and sometimes you have 20 pages of plot to fill 22 pages, but in a big-budget TV show with real actors saying the lines, it's inexcusably sloppy.

9) Did I mention my dislike for zombie ninjas? Because I have a dislike for zombie ninjas. I know, right? You take two random things that the internet loved in 1999, and you combine them, and somehow they get more shitty. AND YET.
 
10) With all that badness, it was mostly boring and I spent most of the show petting the cats and playing PhD. 2048 on my phone.

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