Project 2025 I mean CPC Platform

[sabotabby]

Hey it's yo girl with an off-the-cuff critique of Poilievre's belatedly released platform. At 37 pages, most of which are glossy pictures of him manfully hugging random dudes, it's pretty light reading if you want to check it out yourself. But really, you shouldn't waste your time. You know what he'd do if he got into power and it's not good.

That said there are some funny/egregiously terrible bits so let's look at it together, shall we?





The world's most huggable fascist meets the world's least competent hair cropping in Photoshop. I should be grateful that this isn't full of AI but also it's important to note that most graphic designers lean left.



I just want ONE (1) journalist to ask him what he thinks he means by "woke" and what the opposite of "woke" is. Does little PP need a nap? Is he sleepy?



We covered free speech on campus in the last post, but I didn't mention that it's going to be very hard to find a lot of sufficiently far-right professors to adhere to Dear Leader's agenda. Outside of business schools and I guess some economics programs, there really aren't a lot of academics who want to deny science fail to stay up-to-date with developments in literature, historical study, or politics.



For someone so adamant on shrinking government and cutting spending, he sure is adding a lot of extra spending here that will not reduce the price of groceries or build new homes. It should also be noted that Indigenous peoples do not belong to Canada and are not "our" Indigenous peoples.



This is just straight-up eugenics.



I don't believe these two three men were originally in the same photo.



Does this mean Poilievre wants to withdraw from NATO? Is he two-timing Modi with Putin or something?



The transphobic agenda creeps in. As we saw in the US, children and prisoners may be the bait, since they have fewer rights than the rest of us and deeply held beliefs about both tend to lure in gullible centrists, but they never stop there. The goal is the eradication of trans people.



There's another pro-plague bit in there but I didn't bother screencapping it, since we know that PP rose to his shot at the throne by advocating for mass death and disability due to covid infection.

I wonder if he'll try to stop hockey riots, a proud national tradition, too. There are more hockey riots than antisemitic riots by an order of magnitude.



Where are they going to go, Pierre? Goddamn I hate him I hope he loses his seat and they find a way to strip him of his pension and he has to live in a tent. I know how unlikely this is but that's what I want for him, the fucking ghoul.



Every other page is packed from top to bottom. Did we forget some bullet points here? Or, more likely, we couldn't convincingly Photoshop Pierre into a picture with an Indigenous person because they all hate his guts.

(Please note: In the non-public version of the platform, which I also saw, they call for abolishing the Indian Act and replacing the collective system of band and community housing with private home ownership. While the Indian Act is a singularly awful piece of legislation, it's currently the only protection First Nations have to hold their traditional territory, which is inconveniently in the way of pipelines and mines that Pierre would like to build.



Hair is a challenge in Photoshop for sure, but that helmet should be a cakewalk. It isn't, apparently.



A good rule of thumb is that if your slogan rhymes, it's probably not a serious political position. Anyway, the second last bullet point is particularly worth noting, since it will open the doors for all sorts of snake oil salesmen and grifters like RFK Jr.



Did they Photoshop Anaida's skin to look lighter, or is it just me? Anyway, you'll be pleased to know that PP hasn't abandoned the near-identical slogan to the guy who wants to annex the country.

Anyway, tomorrow is voting day, so if you're a Canadian citizen, get out, do your democratic duty, and make it so we never need to hear from this pipsqueak fascist ever again.

Comments

[zillanovikov]

Imagine being a stock photography model and finding out your image somehow ended up in _that_

[smhwpf]

Yeech, good luck tomorrow, 338 has the odds in your favour (of avoiding the fascist at least, obviously not of getting an actually good government), but too darned close for comfort.

[batdina]

Canada first? I'd be standing on street corners to get people who drove past me to get themselves to voting booths. Holy ...

[dissectionist]

“A Conservative government will put an end to the .. allocation of federal funds for university research.”

Ah. Yet another dingleberry who doesn’t understand how much of medicine is based on research done by university-owned institutions using federal funds. If you want to send our medicine back to the Dark Ages like the US is currently doing, cutting funds for uni-based research labs is an excellent way to do that.

[ioplokon]

I'm to stressed so I am just gonna laugh at the my head is pastaed on yay quality of it all.

[conuly]

I will say, he does look huggable. I mean, he hides his evil under a cloak of banality, that's for sure, but his pictures make him look like somebody you might be able to stand in the same room as for up to five minutes at a time.

[kore]

How good a chance does this fucking whackjob have? Why is he hugging ppl? Did post-pandemic inflation really grow all these fascists, wtf??

[lynnenne]

It is deeply disturbing to me that 37 percent of Canadians still support this guy.

[agoodwinsmith]

I will say that my relatives in the Cow Province are determined to vote for him because Trudeau is so hateful to them that they would vote for the Bubonic Plague if it bad-mouthed Trudeau. They cannot list anything *for* this Bandage Ooze, only that Trudeau has blighted their lives since the day they were born in the 50's. Oh mercy.

[gingeriana]

Thanks for the Monday laughs and for suffering through this so that we don't have to :)
My major dilemma here is that I can't figure out who sucks more here -- his visual designer or his copywriter/editor?

Also, what happens when "woke" people on campus start exercising the promised "free speech on campus"?
So many things they did not think through, lol.

Wouldn't mind in-person citizenship ceremony though! My husband had his online, and I was not impressed.

[rdi]

Never hike taxes and pass the Taxpayer Protection Act to ban new or higher federal taxes without asking taxpayers first in a referendum.

Possibly the stupidest and most dangerous plank in this platform of stupid and dangerous planks. “I promise to hobble the government’s ability to raise revenue from now into entity.”

I really really hate this conservative focus on “the taxpayer” because (a) it completely ignores the larger numbers of citizens who don’t pay tax, and (b) reduces the relationship between government and citizen to a purely financial transaction.

How do we popularize the phrase “Taxes are the price of civilization”?

[greylock]

That Photoshop skills are... where I was 25 years ago.
Could they not have used AI?

Did they Photoshop Anaida's skin to look lighter, or is it just me?

Did they Photoshop XXX's skin to look XXX: 88% of time they did.

Did he really release his platform so close to the election? Seems lame.

Our Opposition is doing costings tomorrow, 48 hours before voting. But a platform?