Manic pixie libertarian dream girl

[sabotabby]

Would you like to hear about awkward times on public transit? Of course you would.

See, the thing is, when you have hair like mine, complete strangers frequently want to strike up a conversation. I mean, if you're a reasonably presentable lass, complete strangers will strike up conversations anyway, but both the quantity and diversity of these random conversations has increased since my hair became a decidedly unnatural colour. There are more guys who try to pick me up, but there are also weird old ladies who want to talk to me about municipal politics, and little kids who point me out to their parents, and so on.

Anyway, while there was a weird old lady who saw my unconventional hair colour as an invitation to strike up a conversation about municipal politics and the entitlement complex endemic in Toronto, this is mostly a post about a dudebro who tried to pick me up on the subway.



So I got on, and he got on, and I tried to make space for him because he had a cane. It was a pretty pimpin' cane, mind you, so I wasn't sure if he was using it because of disability or fashion. Best to err on the side of making sure he could get on the subway safely during rush hour crowds, though.

Beyond clearing a path, though, I was pretty much in parka-headphones-book-unapproachable mode, as I nearly always am on transit. I could see he was checking out my book (Send My Love and a Molotov Cocktail), and, as much as I am against striking up conversations with strangers who are reading, I do get how that particular title might provoke a few questions. So he asked me if it was any good. I said yes, yes it was—some stories more than others, but overall recommended.

This was a conversation opening, unfortunately, wherein I learned:
• He liked my hair
• He read a lot, but not fiction
• Mostly technical manuals
• He did some writing
• He really, really liked my hair, wow

I wonder about people who don't read fiction but also write, so I bit: What did he write?

Articles about pot.

Oh. Uh. High Times?

No, about legal pot. Just the legal stuff. Was this subject making me uncomfortable?

I shrugged. No, I think it should all be legal. Don't do it myself, but I don't care what other people do. There was a little alarm bell going off in my head: goatee, decorative cane, technical manuals, weed.

He asked if he could give me his number.

I tend to flail in these situations. You'd think I'd be used to it, but when people hit on me in public, I tend to say really weird things. In this case, it was: "Idon'thaveaphone."

I think the entire subway car stopped what they were doing to stare. Because I have blue hair, and a book with the words "Molotov Cocktail" in the title, and I just claimed to not have a phone.

I clarified. "I have a hearing problem. It's not that I'm deaf, it's, it's like an auditory processing disorder, basically I tune out and I'm like, 'pardon?' and it drives everyone crazy. So, no phone. Everyone just e-mails me." (About 60% of that is actually true, incidentally. But I do have a phone. I sure as fuck wasn't going to give some dudebro my number, though, let alone call him up.)

"Ah, I hate computers." Oh, dudebro, this romance was over before it began. "I write all my letters by hand. Actually, I have some hearing damage too, from shooting."

Fate was clearly against this conversation ending. There are some temptations even I can't resist.

"Shooting...guns...where do you go?"

OH SABOTABBY NO. Your casual desire to go target shooting now and again is not worth getting some dudebro's hopes up. I found out:

• There's a public shooting range at the Science Centre, but it's for archery
• The Hart House shooting range isn't as closed as they'd like you to believe
• You might think you never want to own a gun, but a few weeks of target shooting and you'll change your mind

Wait a second—wait. My brain's gears were a-spinning—slower than normal, but still spinning. They did the following equation:

Goatee + decorative cane + technical manuals + interested in blue-haired chicks + pot + guns = OH SHIT I AM BEING HIT ON BY A LIBERTARIAN.

Fortunately, my stop came up, and I dashed out, hearing behind me, "That's too bad, I'd really liked to have talked more..."

Still less annoying than the municipal politics lady, though. Do you know that she goes to City Hall every day? And just sits and listens?

Comments

I

[elsewhereangel.livejournal.com]

I wonder what new adventures my "urban fantasy" hair will bring.

[sabotabby]

Brace yourself. Nerds are coming.

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

OMG! A libertarian! Run! Run fast! :)

Wait, maybe he was an anarchist?

[thenetwork.livejournal.com]

Libertarians. I do not understand them.

[sabotabby]

Anarchists tend to either like guns or pot, but not both.

[sabotabby]

Fucking libertarians, how do they work?

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

you should have discussed the Atlas Shrugged movie to confirm. If he spontaneously orgasms at having found a woman who saw it, Libertarian.

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

I know a couple what I think of as "gun hippies." They're not libertarians in any organized sense. They're not really anything.

[sabotabby]

Had my Spidey sense been triggered earlier, I'd have told him that the book was okay, but it was no Heinlein.

[sabotabby]

Oh, definitely. And I've met a few actual anarchists with principled interest in both. But it's much more common in the U.S.—there are very few gun nuts in Canada, and only a tiny sliver of those are not right-wing.

[sabotabby]

RUN AWAAAAAAY!

[symbioid.livejournal.com]

Hrmm... Well I don't have a huge interest in pot these days and my gun stance is kinda like yours so... I guess I'd be safe.

Why does everybody hate goatees? ;_;

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

And yet, Canadian own more long guns (e.g. rifles, shotguns) per capita than the USans do.

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

Hm, a subtlety I had missed.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

Flashback: Chicago, 2005!

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

This was... strangely serendipitous.

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

The Hart House shooting range isn't as closed as they'd like you to believe

Wait, what? I'm going to investigate.

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

Heinlein did start out as a social credit Democrat. And I never read much big L Libertarianism into any of his work - he took personal responsibility very seriously and often his protagonists were willing to sacrifice themselves for the good of the many.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

I lol'd. That is rough, buddy.

I have the ...benefit? of most ppl I run into in public spaces not being able to figure out my gender, and thus even when my hair is really weird random people usually don't talk to me. Nowadays I generally only get ppl when I'm in my scooter and they're also using some kind of mobility device and want to talk disability stuff.

[baroncognito.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd rather know where to find a pubic archery range. Reusable ammunition is a lot cheaper. I've gone out to the desert to go shooting with my friends and you need a lot of rounds to spend an hour or two on the range.

I can't recall the last time I had someone try to speak to me on public transportation, but I have a friend who would tell me about the people who tried to convert her on the bus.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

The only time people on transit strike up conversations with me these days is to compliment me on my knitting. XD

*ruffles you*

[monster-grrrl.livejournal.com]

Freudian typo: PUBIC archery range!!!!

[curgoth]

I get people coming up to me on transit to talk to me about my hair, too. None of them are trying to hit on me, though.

[audrawilliams.livejournal.com]

I feel like they ONLY look okay on old dudes with white/silver facial hair.

[symbioid.livejournal.com]

Now - are we talking straight up goatee, or goatee and mustache? Or does it matter?

I've got some strands of white (and red and black and brown) does that count (mostly brown though)

I suppose really I shouldn't give a rat's ass. Mostly I just don't want to be seen as a stereotype of a libertarian... *sigh*