sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (AK Hello Kitty/springheel_jack)
[personal profile] sabotabby
Would you like to hear about awkward times on public transit? Of course you would.

See, the thing is, when you have hair like mine, complete strangers frequently want to strike up a conversation. I mean, if you're a reasonably presentable lass, complete strangers will strike up conversations anyway, but both the quantity and diversity of these random conversations has increased since my hair became a decidedly unnatural colour. There are more guys who try to pick me up, but there are also weird old ladies who want to talk to me about municipal politics, and little kids who point me out to their parents, and so on.

Anyway, while there was a weird old lady who saw my unconventional hair colour as an invitation to strike up a conversation about municipal politics and the entitlement complex endemic in Toronto, this is mostly a post about a dudebro who tried to pick me up on the subway.



So I got on, and he got on, and I tried to make space for him because he had a cane. It was a pretty pimpin' cane, mind you, so I wasn't sure if he was using it because of disability or fashion. Best to err on the side of making sure he could get on the subway safely during rush hour crowds, though.

Beyond clearing a path, though, I was pretty much in parka-headphones-book-unapproachable mode, as I nearly always am on transit. I could see he was checking out my book (Send My Love and a Molotov Cocktail), and, as much as I am against striking up conversations with strangers who are reading, I do get how that particular title might provoke a few questions. So he asked me if it was any good. I said yes, yes it was—some stories more than others, but overall recommended.

This was a conversation opening, unfortunately, wherein I learned:
• He liked my hair
• He read a lot, but not fiction
• Mostly technical manuals
• He did some writing
• He really, really liked my hair, wow

I wonder about people who don't read fiction but also write, so I bit: What did he write?

Articles about pot.

Oh. Uh. High Times?

No, about legal pot. Just the legal stuff. Was this subject making me uncomfortable?

I shrugged. No, I think it should all be legal. Don't do it myself, but I don't care what other people do. There was a little alarm bell going off in my head: goatee, decorative cane, technical manuals, weed.

He asked if he could give me his number.

I tend to flail in these situations. You'd think I'd be used to it, but when people hit on me in public, I tend to say really weird things. In this case, it was: "Idon'thaveaphone."

I think the entire subway car stopped what they were doing to stare. Because I have blue hair, and a book with the words "Molotov Cocktail" in the title, and I just claimed to not have a phone.

I clarified. "I have a hearing problem. It's not that I'm deaf, it's, it's like an auditory processing disorder, basically I tune out and I'm like, 'pardon?' and it drives everyone crazy. So, no phone. Everyone just e-mails me." (About 60% of that is actually true, incidentally. But I do have a phone. I sure as fuck wasn't going to give some dudebro my number, though, let alone call him up.)

"Ah, I hate computers." Oh, dudebro, this romance was over before it began. "I write all my letters by hand. Actually, I have some hearing damage too, from shooting."

Fate was clearly against this conversation ending. There are some temptations even I can't resist.

"Shooting...guns...where do you go?"

OH SABOTABBY NO. Your casual desire to go target shooting now and again is not worth getting some dudebro's hopes up. I found out:

• There's a public shooting range at the Science Centre, but it's for archery
• The Hart House shooting range isn't as closed as they'd like you to believe
• You might think you never want to own a gun, but a few weeks of target shooting and you'll change your mind

Wait a second—wait. My brain's gears were a-spinning—slower than normal, but still spinning. They did the following equation:

Goatee + decorative cane + technical manuals + interested in blue-haired chicks + pot + guns = OH SHIT I AM BEING HIT ON BY A LIBERTARIAN.

Fortunately, my stop came up, and I dashed out, hearing behind me, "That's too bad, I'd really liked to have talked more..."

Still less annoying than the municipal politics lady, though. Do you know that she goes to City Hall every day? And just sits and listens?

I

Date: 2012-02-01 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elsewhereangel.livejournal.com
I wonder what new adventures my "urban fantasy" hair will bring.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] elsewhereangel.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 06:23 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-02-01 01:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dagibbs.livejournal.com
OMG! A libertarian! Run! Run fast! :)

Wait, maybe he was an anarchist?

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] springheel-jack.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 02:14 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] dagibbs.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 03:18 am (UTC) - Expand
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] scruloose.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-04 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] dagibbs.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 03:19 am (UTC) - Expand
(deleted comment)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] twiin.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 04:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-02-01 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thenetwork.livejournal.com
Libertarians. I do not understand them.

Date: 2012-02-01 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eyelid.livejournal.com
you should have discussed the Atlas Shrugged movie to confirm. If he spontaneously orgasms at having found a woman who saw it, Libertarian.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bike4fish.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 05:36 am (UTC) - Expand
(deleted comment)

Date: 2012-02-01 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] symbioid.livejournal.com
Hrmm... Well I don't have a huge interest in pot these days and my gun stance is kinda like yours so... I guess I'd be safe.

Why does everybody hate goatees? ;_;

Date: 2012-02-01 02:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] audrawilliams.livejournal.com
I feel like they ONLY look okay on old dudes with white/silver facial hair.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] symbioid.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 02:31 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] audrawilliams.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 02:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] frilled-shark.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 03:44 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-02-01 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rohmie.livejournal.com
Flashback: Chicago, 2005!
Edited Date: 2012-02-01 03:41 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-02-01 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] icedrake.livejournal.com
This was... strangely serendipitous.

Date: 2012-02-01 05:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frandroid.livejournal.com
The Hart House shooting range isn't as closed as they'd like you to believe

Wait, what? I'm going to investigate.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] frandroid.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 05:26 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-02-01 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bitter-crimson.livejournal.com
I lol'd. That is rough, buddy.

I have the ...benefit? of most ppl I run into in public spaces not being able to figure out my gender, and thus even when my hair is really weird random people usually don't talk to me. Nowadays I generally only get ppl when I'm in my scooter and they're also using some kind of mobility device and want to talk disability stuff.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bitter-crimson.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 01:03 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-02-01 09:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baroncognito.livejournal.com
Personally, I'd rather know where to find a pubic archery range. Reusable ammunition is a lot cheaper. I've gone out to the desert to go shooting with my friends and you need a lot of rounds to spend an hour or two on the range.

I can't recall the last time I had someone try to speak to me on public transportation, but I have a friend who would tell me about the people who tried to convert her on the bus.

Date: 2012-02-01 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] monster-grrrl.livejournal.com
Freudian typo: PUBIC archery range!!!!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] lovmelovmycats.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 03:12 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] monster-grrrl.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-01 03:18 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] frilled-shark.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 03:46 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] baroncognito.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 10:19 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] baroncognito.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 10:17 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] baroncognito.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-02 09:22 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-02-01 11:17 am (UTC)
ext_27713: An apple with a heart-shape cut into it (emotions: mischievous)
From: [identity profile] lienne.livejournal.com
The only time people on transit strike up conversations with me these days is to compliment me on my knitting. XD

*ruffles you*

Date: 2012-02-01 02:02 pm (UTC)
curgoth: (Default)
From: [personal profile] curgoth
I get people coming up to me on transit to talk to me about my hair, too. None of them are trying to hit on me, though.

Date: 2012-02-02 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frilled-shark.livejournal.com
Once when I was going to work really early on the streetcar, the guy across the aisle from me asked the woman in front of me what she thought happened after death. She was kind of surprised, and gave an answer along the lines of "Well, I don't really know".

It quickly segued into the guy explaining how he had come to Jesus after a young adulthood of hard partying (I think). I don't think he had pamphlets or anything to give the woman; he just felt inspired to tell people about the greatness of Jesus at 6:30 am.

When the woman got off the streetcar, I leaned against the window and pretended to be dozing.

Date: 2012-02-03 10:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pofflewomp.livejournal.com
I really, really want to shoot things, but I have only heard of one shooting club and you need a certificate from the doctor saying you are sane enough not to kill anyone or yourself...so that's me out...

Profile

sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (Default)
sabotabby

June 2025

S M T W T F S
1 23 45 67
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Style Credit

Page generated Jun. 6th, 2025 01:45 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Most Popular Tags