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Saying goodbye to my best friend
Apr. 2nd, 2014 11:01 pmThis is, as you might imagine, a heartbreaking entry to write. Which means that I'm going to write it once and post it in several places, and my apologies in advance to anyone who has to read it more than once.
Just over a decade ago, I went to the Humane Society to adopt a cat. Being a crazy cat lady (though, at the time, quite catless), I of course found myself paralyzed with indecision, wanting to adopt all of them. Until an oversized white paw whipped out from somewhere in one of the lower, shadowy, almost hidden cages and swiped my leg, and thus Marinetti declared me his own.
He was, at the time, almost four years old, on a medical waiver because of his deformed eyes and chronic herpes infection, and had been at the Humane Society the longest out of all the cats. He looked like a tough customer. Like most creatures who look terrifyingly badass, Marinetti was, naturally, a sweetheart.
Many of you met him over the years and can attest to the fact that he was the Best Cat. He was loving—often at inconvenient times and in inconvenient places, often aggressively affectionate—gregarious, and smart as hell. He was adventurous, even into his old age. What you may not know is that he was also a sensitive gentleman when he needed to be. During the darkest times of my life, he was my one constant, and my best friend.
( Details of how he died )
This is the last picture I took of him, earlier this evening. The fact that he was being sweet to Cocoa here is some indication that he was not himself.
I'm heartbroken. Anguished. There aren't words, really, so I'm not going to try. I've known this was coming for awhile, and that actually makes it somewhat easier, because every second I've had with him has mattered. I know that he had a far better life with me than he would have if we'd never met.
But when I got home from the vet clinic and he didn't meet me at the door I almost broke. I don't know how I'm going to deal with a world that doesn't have him in it. Goodbye, my beloved kitty. I will miss you so much.
Marinetti
February 5, 1999—April 2, 2014
Just over a decade ago, I went to the Humane Society to adopt a cat. Being a crazy cat lady (though, at the time, quite catless), I of course found myself paralyzed with indecision, wanting to adopt all of them. Until an oversized white paw whipped out from somewhere in one of the lower, shadowy, almost hidden cages and swiped my leg, and thus Marinetti declared me his own.
He was, at the time, almost four years old, on a medical waiver because of his deformed eyes and chronic herpes infection, and had been at the Humane Society the longest out of all the cats. He looked like a tough customer. Like most creatures who look terrifyingly badass, Marinetti was, naturally, a sweetheart.
Many of you met him over the years and can attest to the fact that he was the Best Cat. He was loving—often at inconvenient times and in inconvenient places, often aggressively affectionate—gregarious, and smart as hell. He was adventurous, even into his old age. What you may not know is that he was also a sensitive gentleman when he needed to be. During the darkest times of my life, he was my one constant, and my best friend.
( Details of how he died )
This is the last picture I took of him, earlier this evening. The fact that he was being sweet to Cocoa here is some indication that he was not himself.
I'm heartbroken. Anguished. There aren't words, really, so I'm not going to try. I've known this was coming for awhile, and that actually makes it somewhat easier, because every second I've had with him has mattered. I know that he had a far better life with me than he would have if we'd never met.
But when I got home from the vet clinic and he didn't meet me at the door I almost broke. I don't know how I'm going to deal with a world that doesn't have him in it. Goodbye, my beloved kitty. I will miss you so much.
February 5, 1999—April 2, 2014
This little dude is 15 years old today!
Like any teenager, he stayed up stupid late last night and slept in this morning. I got him a kitty fountain, but he does not seem to have noticed it yet. I may need to put it somewhere more prominent.
Anyway, he is the greatest.
Like any teenager, he stayed up stupid late last night and slept in this morning. I got him a kitty fountain, but he does not seem to have noticed it yet. I may need to put it somewhere more prominent.
Anyway, he is the greatest.
Today's weigh-in
Feb. 3rd, 2014 05:47 pm3.7 kilos, up from last week's 3.6.
( Cut for gigantic cat pic )Best. Day.
Jan. 25th, 2014 02:43 pmSee this little man?
This little man has been steadily losing weight for years. It sucks. Every time I take him to the vet and put him on the scale, I want to cry. He has a good appetite, so it's not that, and his hyperthyroidism, according to the vet, is under control. He does probably have a liver tumour, but the vet thought it might be worth a shot to give him B12 injections. I was pretty skeptical, but there are no side effects and it's non-invasive, so for $40 a week I figured I didn't have much to lose by trying.
Anyway, he had his first one last weekend and I took him in this morning for his second. Between last week and today, his weight increased from 3.3 kg to 3.6 kg. I mean, it's a small change, but it's been a week and he has not had any weight gain in two years before now.
So I am cautiously optimistic that this may work.
This little man has been steadily losing weight for years. It sucks. Every time I take him to the vet and put him on the scale, I want to cry. He has a good appetite, so it's not that, and his hyperthyroidism, according to the vet, is under control. He does probably have a liver tumour, but the vet thought it might be worth a shot to give him B12 injections. I was pretty skeptical, but there are no side effects and it's non-invasive, so for $40 a week I figured I didn't have much to lose by trying.
Anyway, he had his first one last weekend and I took him in this morning for his second. Between last week and today, his weight increased from 3.3 kg to 3.6 kg. I mean, it's a small change, but it's been a week and he has not had any weight gain in two years before now.
So I am cautiously optimistic that this may work.
Today was hard. Not as hard as some unspecified day in the future will be, or as hard as I thought it would be a few hours ago, but nevertheless, not one of my better ones.
( Not the saddest post but I'm cutting it just to be sure )
( Not the saddest post but I'm cutting it just to be sure )
Today was, apparently, the day to get cool shit in the mail. First, when I left the house on my way to physio, there was a Doctor Who ice tray in my mailbox. It's not especially convenient for ice cubes, but my intent is to make chocolates with it because I'm awesome that way.
Nevertheless, in the meantime it also does make ice cubes, albeit really large ones, so here is Marinetti exterminating an ice Dalek:
My badass Adventure Kitty, you guys.
Here's what the TARDIS one looks like:
As if that wasn't already enough to make my day, I got yet another package in the mail in the afternoon, this one from the lovely and talented![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nihilistic_kid. He'd blogged awhile ago about the most hilarious ever Jews for Jesus pamphlet, a rare specimen of the sort I collect for the lulz, and actually sent it my way (along with a book that looks awesome).
Feast your eyes:
It's about how Jesus is more awesome than Justin Bieber. Which is really setting a low bar if you ask me, but I am probably not the target audience. Anyway! In an effort to share some of the joy, I've scanned the whole thing so that you can read it, print it, and evangelize. You're welcome!
Nevertheless, in the meantime it also does make ice cubes, albeit really large ones, so here is Marinetti exterminating an ice Dalek:
My badass Adventure Kitty, you guys.
Here's what the TARDIS one looks like:
As if that wasn't already enough to make my day, I got yet another package in the mail in the afternoon, this one from the lovely and talented
nihilistic_kid. He'd blogged awhile ago about the most hilarious ever Jews for Jesus pamphlet, a rare specimen of the sort I collect for the lulz, and actually sent it my way (along with a book that looks awesome).Feast your eyes:
It's about how Jesus is more awesome than Justin Bieber. Which is really setting a low bar if you ask me, but I am probably not the target audience. Anyway! In an effort to share some of the joy, I've scanned the whole thing so that you can read it, print it, and evangelize. You're welcome!
Marinetti has been found safe and sound. He's now home. He travelled a mindboggling distance that even I found difficult to walk. A woman out searching for her own cat found him, fed and watered him, and then called when she saw the posters.
Thanks everyone for your words of support. I didn't think I'd get a happy ending.
ETA: More details for those interested (or those who might one day find themselves in this horrible position):
• Marinetti walked at least 2.1 km (assuming he went in a straight line, which being a cat, he probably didn't), which is a 25-minute walk for an able-bodied human. This goes against all of the advice I'd heard, which is that indoor-only cats typically hide close by.
• He then ensconced himself on the lawn of a truly wonderful human being. She put him in the garage and gave him food, water, and a little bed.
• He was found because of the posters. This lady was going to put out posters herself, and then found mine.chickenfeet2003 and lemur_catta deserve a special commendation for making sure that there were posters everywhere.
• My neighbours are really nice.
• He seems okay now. I'm sure he's lost weight, not like he had much to lose, but he did eat at his rescuer's place and gobbled treats and apparently some food once he was back home. He seems kind of tired but was purring and jumping up to get tap water from the bathtub, which is his current favourite thing. He doesn't look drastically worse for the wear, or traumatized.
Thanks everyone for your words of support. I didn't think I'd get a happy ending.
ETA: More details for those interested (or those who might one day find themselves in this horrible position):
• Marinetti walked at least 2.1 km (assuming he went in a straight line, which being a cat, he probably didn't), which is a 25-minute walk for an able-bodied human. This goes against all of the advice I'd heard, which is that indoor-only cats typically hide close by.
• He then ensconced himself on the lawn of a truly wonderful human being. She put him in the garage and gave him food, water, and a little bed.
• He was found because of the posters. This lady was going to put out posters herself, and then found mine.
chickenfeet2003 and lemur_catta deserve a special commendation for making sure that there were posters everywhere.• My neighbours are really nice.
• He seems okay now. I'm sure he's lost weight, not like he had much to lose, but he did eat at his rescuer's place and gobbled treats and apparently some food once he was back home. He seems kind of tired but was purring and jumping up to get tap water from the bathtub, which is his current favourite thing. He doesn't look drastically worse for the wear, or traumatized.
Marinetti is missing and in all likelihood dead.
Last night at around 12, I went to bed and he curled up beside me. This morning, when I woke up to give him his 8 am meds, he was gone. I've been searching the neighbourhood, putting up signs, calling Toronto Animal Services and the Humane Society, but there's no sign of him. He's never been farther than my backyard on a leash and under the porch once when he ran outside, so I doubt he even knows which house is his if he's wandered off.
It is, of course, my fault. I left the kitchen window above the sink open a crack. My arthritic, 14-year-old cat is, in theory, capable of jumping up on the counter, walking over to the sink, and squeezing through the gap in the window.chickenfeet2003 and lemur_catta, who were over all day helping me look for him, thought that it was highly improbable that he could get through there, but it was absolutely the only way out of the house (and definitely if he's in the house, he's dead. But he's not in the house.).
I failed the one creature that I love most in the world. I was supposed to keep him safe. He trusted me completely. And now he's gone, because I just wasn't careful enough.
It's morbid, but me being the person I am, I envisioned losing him, writing this final entry, in a number of ways. I imagined him getting so sick that I'd have no choice but to put him down. I imagined waking up and finding him dead (in fact, the older and sicker he got, the more frequently I'd find him sleeping and check, my breath held, that he was breathing). I never thought that I'd lose him to a gigantic question mark, that he'd be out there, dying, alone, without me. I thought at least we'd have a goodbye.
I thought I was broken as much as a person could be broken, but apparently there are much greater depths of grief than I could ever envision.
Last night at around 12, I went to bed and he curled up beside me. This morning, when I woke up to give him his 8 am meds, he was gone. I've been searching the neighbourhood, putting up signs, calling Toronto Animal Services and the Humane Society, but there's no sign of him. He's never been farther than my backyard on a leash and under the porch once when he ran outside, so I doubt he even knows which house is his if he's wandered off.
It is, of course, my fault. I left the kitchen window above the sink open a crack. My arthritic, 14-year-old cat is, in theory, capable of jumping up on the counter, walking over to the sink, and squeezing through the gap in the window.
chickenfeet2003 and lemur_catta, who were over all day helping me look for him, thought that it was highly improbable that he could get through there, but it was absolutely the only way out of the house (and definitely if he's in the house, he's dead. But he's not in the house.). I failed the one creature that I love most in the world. I was supposed to keep him safe. He trusted me completely. And now he's gone, because I just wasn't careful enough.
It's morbid, but me being the person I am, I envisioned losing him, writing this final entry, in a number of ways. I imagined him getting so sick that I'd have no choice but to put him down. I imagined waking up and finding him dead (in fact, the older and sicker he got, the more frequently I'd find him sleeping and check, my breath held, that he was breathing). I never thought that I'd lose him to a gigantic question mark, that he'd be out there, dying, alone, without me. I thought at least we'd have a goodbye.
I thought I was broken as much as a person could be broken, but apparently there are much greater depths of grief than I could ever envision.
It's motherfuckin' springtime!
Mar. 29th, 2013 12:07 pmIt's a day early for Caturday, but we're still celebrating the first day of being able to open the windows in my house. Yay!
Cativersary!
Dec. 27th, 2012 09:06 amTen years ago today, a floppy, squinty-eyed, ridiculous cat at the Humane Society demanded that I take him home with me.
Let's just say that he is the best little guy, and I would not have made it through these past ten years without him. His snuggles, aggressive purrs, and headbutts bring me joy and love every single day.
Happy cativersary, Marinetti.
I got him a new scratching post.
Let's just say that he is the best little guy, and I would not have made it through these past ten years without him. His snuggles, aggressive purrs, and headbutts bring me joy and love every single day.
Happy cativersary, Marinetti.
I got him a new scratching post.
Epic cookie post with bonus cats
Dec. 16th, 2012 04:35 pmIn my effort to be less of a terrible person and spread a little joy in the world, I went on a month-and-a-half long baking spree to make Christmas cookies for my whole department, my EA, and three of my neighbours. As of today, I'm finally done.
W00T!
( photos and recipes )
I also made ninjabread cookies, but I'm having a hard time decorating them because, while little kids can decorate gingerbread cookies and while I have not insignificant levels of artistic ability, I fail at cookie and cake decorating forever. Besides, they weren't going to fit in the tins. So those went back in the freezer for my next party or whenever I figure out gingerbread icing.
And here are the cats chilling on my sofa:
( Cats! )
W00T!
( photos and recipes )
I also made ninjabread cookies, but I'm having a hard time decorating them because, while little kids can decorate gingerbread cookies and while I have not insignificant levels of artistic ability, I fail at cookie and cake decorating forever. Besides, they weren't going to fit in the tins. So those went back in the freezer for my next party or whenever I figure out gingerbread icing.
And here are the cats chilling on my sofa:
( Cats! )
Cats and interior decor
Dec. 2nd, 2012 09:52 amWould you like to see a bunch of cat pictures and decorator porn? Why, of course you would!
So this is how my basement looked before. Not ugly, but certainly not very exciting either:
( This is how it looks now )
( Now for more cats. )
So this is how my basement looked before. Not ugly, but certainly not very exciting either:
( This is how it looks now )
( Now for more cats. )
Sights and smells of October
Oct. 13th, 2012 08:56 pmOkay, check out what we made today:
That right there is some maple walnut pumpkin pie.
( you know you want a piece of that )
Oh yes, and here is some delicious whole wheat garlic bread:
cupric_acetate may be on a bit of a baking spree. Also, she introduced lienne and I to the wonders of Teen Wolf, which is a show about a young boy trying desperately to be a lacrosse star despite his crippling allergy to shirts. It is Rather Good.
There is a second Presumptuous Cat who made her way into my house the other day:
She is very cute but not very pleasant.
Nor did she and the resident kitty agree on who was supposed to live here. So I had to kick her out. Sadly, it seems like there is only room for one kitty in the Fortress of Solitude.
That right there is some maple walnut pumpkin pie.
( you know you want a piece of that )
Oh yes, and here is some delicious whole wheat garlic bread:
cupric_acetate may be on a bit of a baking spree. Also, she introduced lienne and I to the wonders of Teen Wolf, which is a show about a young boy trying desperately to be a lacrosse star despite his crippling allergy to shirts. It is Rather Good.There is a second Presumptuous Cat who made her way into my house the other day:
She is very cute but not very pleasant.
Nor did she and the resident kitty agree on who was supposed to live here. So I had to kick her out. Sadly, it seems like there is only room for one kitty in the Fortress of Solitude.
Fortress of Solitude: The house tour
May. 18th, 2012 07:00 pmAre you sick of pictures of my house yet?
Because the renos are done, the pictures are hung, and I'm pretty stoked with the results.
( design geekery )
So that's my pad! Still a few little things to do, plus the basement (which is going to have to be repainted, but I eventually want to replace the futon with something not so ugly), but overall I think it's looking awesome.
Because the renos are done, the pictures are hung, and I'm pretty stoked with the results.
( design geekery )
So that's my pad! Still a few little things to do, plus the basement (which is going to have to be repainted, but I eventually want to replace the futon with something not so ugly), but overall I think it's looking awesome.
More dicking around
May. 8th, 2012 09:45 pmI made arts. Completely silly arts; basically just experimenting with collage techniques in this one:
( moderately NSFW )
I think it's done? I can never tell when anything's done.
This is why I get no writing done:
( moderately NSFW )
I think it's done? I can never tell when anything's done.
This is why I get no writing done:
Lamp revamp + bonus Marinetti
May. 7th, 2012 05:30 pmHey, would you all like to see what I do when I am on sick leave and I start turning into a kooky housewife? Of course you do.
So this lamp, I've had since I was a little kid. It's not that exciting. My childhood best friend's father made it and gave it to me, so it's kind of sentimental, but basically it's a boring lamp.
( gratuitous frou-frou )
Here's my cat facepalming:
I'm also working on a collage thing but it doesn't look like much yet. Oh, and a book, but that's paid work.
So this lamp, I've had since I was a little kid. It's not that exciting. My childhood best friend's father made it and gave it to me, so it's kind of sentimental, but basically it's a boring lamp.
( gratuitous frou-frou )
Here's my cat facepalming:
I'm also working on a collage thing but it doesn't look like much yet. Oh, and a book, but that's paid work.
Some nicer things
May. 3rd, 2012 02:29 pm1. FUCK YEAH CINNAMON BUNS! montreality rocks because she's great company and also there seems to be another food on the list of Things Sabotabby Can Eat and Keep Down.
2. I forgot to mention this awhile ago but did you know that the new Canadian money is scratch and sniff? I shit you not.
3. I bought Marinetti a new catnip toy and put it in a paper bag and now he is stalking it and it's pretty hilarious.
montreality rocks because she's great company and also there seems to be another food on the list of Things Sabotabby Can Eat and Keep Down.2. I forgot to mention this awhile ago but did you know that the new Canadian money is scratch and sniff? I shit you not.
3. I bought Marinetti a new catnip toy and put it in a paper bag and now he is stalking it and it's pretty hilarious.
