Your arcane rituals, show me them

[sabotabby]

Stolen from caudelac in a poker game with the Devil:

If I were a summonable monster, how would you summon me? (Include items to lure monster-me and method for said fell ritual.)

Comments

[esizzle.livejournal.com]

I circle the Java House 3 times holding up the Left Behind dvds and chanting viva viva palestina like a hymn

[marsianer.livejournal.com]

I'd have to work on that, but I'm pretty sure it would involve goggles, a corset and an icepick.

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

Wearing my Hunter S Thompson t-shirt I hold my Eugene Debs doll in my left handle and my cat Bashir in my right hand. Walking three times around previously installed Johnny Cash statuette, (comemorative Johnny Cash whiskey bottle,) bow to the east, bow towards Toronto, put my left foot in, put my left foot out, hop up and down threee times and then sing Motorhead's Eat the Rich in Klingon.

[cannibal-x.livejournal.com]

Assemble a pentagram made of old pickets from protest signs, with a ring of 13 grammar texts from dead languages around it, with a photo of leonard nimoy in the centre for good measure. Light a bonfire at the stroke of midnight using a tuft of actual hair from lenin's mummy.

OK, maybe I don't know enough about you to write this kind of thing convincingly ;(

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

Plate of cookies, and I hold up a red card and solemnly intone: "The working class and the employing class..."

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Wow. If I hadn't just gotten engaged, I'd propose marriage to you on the spot for this.

[cannibal-x.livejournal.com]

Nice..yours is the best!

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

Rats! I didn't get to you in time! ;)

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I feel that summoning sabotabby would involve a complex jew-demon-in-human-form evoking regimen!

[chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the ritual would involve incredibly bad Irish music

[(Anonymous)]

うちに茶道のお茶碗は売るほどあるけど、ああゆう高価なのはない。
茶道しないと使わないからどうしようと思うけど、何に使おうか？
ドレッシングを入れたり、何かにはなると思うけど。。。。

[(Anonymous)]

ルイスは本当にこのcharger買うつもり？

[curgoth]

Don a Soviet furry hat and a pair of goggles.
Inscribe a red star on the ground in hot sauce.
Burn a stack of badly designed pamphlets and wave the smoke around while walking widdershins around the star, chanting "Hey now, hey now now".
Call on the great Zionist Jewish banking conspiracy to guide the spirit of sabotabby to the star.
Sacrifice an LJ troll on an altar with a mac logo on it.
Blow a snot bubble in your left nostril, and cry out "Come, O self-hating Jew! Ia Palestine! Ia Wobbly! You kids get off my lawn! Miss sabotabby I invoke thee! Can I, like, go to the bathroom?"
Then drink a bottle of Georgian wine, preferably Stalin's second favourite.
when the spectral form of sabotabby, whatever you do, do not ask her to design your website - this will cause her to break the containment of the red star and beat you to death with a macbook.

[shelestel.livejournal.com]

I obviously don't know how to summon you.

[batenjan.livejournal.com]

Maintaining a mental focus on social justice, I would burn in effigy all politicians of the last 25 years (dolls made of discarded non polluting flammables.) Then while deep frying vegetable tempura, I would have doubts and ponder moral relativism. I sing La Internationale, and leave the food before your door. I retreat to a safe distance...

[athenaze.livejournal.com]

Aaah coolest meme ever.

"Find an old -- preferrably cracky and in Russian -- propaganda poster. Light six candles on each side. Use blood to draw a red star. Proceed to chant quotes from obscure steampunk novels. Feed the human heart -- dude, for this you must have a human heart. Steampunk hearts, though cool, might not be edible -- to the nearest hungry kitty and make him happy and starving for human flesh (step one in creating a zombie kitteh, but refer to page 97, chapter "All About Zombie Kittehs" for that). In a puff of Jareth-like glitter sabotabby should appear. Her powers include rec-ing good films and taming teenagers."