The first War on Christmas entry of the year

[sabotabby]

Yesterday, apparently, was the day that they turn on the Christmas carols at the Second Cup. I am not happy about a month of hearing the same bad songs everywhere I go. You know, I understand that there's a certain type of Christian out there who needs to feel special, what with this multiculturalism thing and all of us unsaved types taking over their jobs and mandating gay marriage and lots of abortions. But why the Christmas carols? It works nicely to remind us of our place in the social hierarchy and all that, but these songs are godawful and I can't imagine that Christians like them any more than I do. In fact, I have it on good authority that not every Second Cup cafe in Toronto is owned by Christians.

And the workers; think of the workers. When I worked in retail, there were a few radio stations that we were allowed to listen to, and in some places, a handful of approved CDs. To this day, I am sick of every song that I heard in heavy rotation. It's so much worse when there's one CD that you're allowed to put on. These poor bastards have to work 8- to 10-hour shifts and hear the same 12 songs every day. Even if they liked those songs in the first place, it'll get hellish by mid-December.

So if it's not to make the owners of stores happy, and it pisses off the staff, why does every food and retail establishment insist on playing Christmas carols for a month or so? Does anyone out there like these songs enough to want to hear them everywhere they go?

[Poll #880254]

* And no, "Fairy Tale of New York" does not count. Do you hear them playing it in coffee shops? Because I don't.

Comments

[realcdaae.livejournal.com]

I don't mind hearing them in public places in the sense of a group of carol singers standing outdoors somewhere. Hearing them played in every damn store though, ugh. I'm doing as much shopping as possible online, partly because after 15 minutes in shops playing endless Christmas music I want to kill someone.

[sabotabby]

I did the bulk of my Christmas shopping in Seattle, well before the Christmas music started. Last year, I was forced to go to a mall, and it was hell.

I don't mind carolers as much, mostly because my enthusiasm for live singing of any sort outweighs my hatred of the material.

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

Fairy Tale is my favorite Xmas song. They should be playing it in cafe's, dammit!

[gillen.livejournal.com]

seconded!

[austintacious.livejournal.com]

Until recently, I was one of those poor bastards, waiting tables in a soul food restaurant run by a black Baptist who plays gospel music every Sunday from 7am-7pm and Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving until New Years Eve. It drove me fucking crazy.

[sabotabby]

Gospel is less bad, IMO, but I'm sure I'd get sick of it too if I had to hear it that much.

[gillen.livejournal.com]

I gotta admit I love hearing Bing Crosby do Silver Bells.

[sabotabby]

I think a lot of people make exceptions for Bing Crosby. I don't.

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

I can put up with christmas music with about the same frequency as I can put up with any other type of music. I'd rather not hear the same thing more than once a week. That said, I really do enjoy some of the old songs. I would especially recommend the version of "Hunting the Cutty Wren" by the Mrs. Ackroyd Band (sung by June Tabor and Martin Carthy).

Heck, I recommend anything by the Mrs. Ackroyd Band. The "Cutty Wren" if off Oranges and Lemmings, other albums they've done are Gnus and Roses and Twilight of the Dogs (the Mrs. Ackroyd of the band's name was a mutt).

[sabotabby]

I've never heard that song, and I've never heard of the band at all.

[strawberryrock.livejournal.com]

in my experience, many customers detest it too.

when I worked in a big chain bookstore here, they played the same hour long Christmas cd all day long. For the 10 or more hours the place was open. I still get the chills when I encounter the same Christmas cd in any other food/retail establishment, I know the whole thing song for song, in order, note for note.

[sabotabby]

I thought maybe the purpose was to get customers in and out as soon as possible, since they had to be there to buy shit anyway. But that still seems counter-intuitive.

x-mas in America

[lovableatheist.livejournal.com]

Where I work (giant retail store that starts with an "S" and rhymes with "shmears"), they started telling us to wear our christmas vests around November 4th or so. The only exception was rememberance day. They didn't want to cheapen it, so they waited until November 12th to start playing the christmas songs. No one that I work with can stand christmas music and we're all looking forward to boxing day.

The worst is that there's this song I guess is called "Christmas in America" that they play all the time. I have no idea why they play it, because we're not even in the US. IT makes me suspect that all the schmears' have the same x-mas music. Anyways, the song is all about how x-mas and America are both about love and talks about how celebrating x-mas is an act of patriotism. Definitely Bill O'Reilly approved.

Re: x-mas in America

[sabotabby]

I've never heard that song, but it should obviously be killed. How utterly dreadful.

Somewhat related, somewhat not

[hopita.livejournal.com]

Last night I watched Trading Spouses on TV, because part of the episode was filmed where I worked. The trading couples were tattoo artist family and intolerant Christian family. My personal favorite moment: when tattoo artist dad asks Christian mom about tolerance. Would her church be tolerant of Jews, or Muslims, or Buddhists? "Why yes, of course," she replied. As long as they accepted Jesus as the son of God, who died for their sins and was reborn three days later.

That's generally the kind of so-called "tolerance" that I feel at Christmastime -- of course everyone is welcome! As long as they celebrate Christmas ...

Re: Somewhat related, somewhat not

[sabotabby]

Hahaha. Awesome.

I revel in my intolerance, actually.

[99catsaway.livejournal.com]

Even though I clicked that there are some that I like, still, about mid-December it's enough! Also, the fact that on Christmas Eve or CHristmas Day, I can't drive anywhere and find a single radio station that's not playing Christmas music drives me bonkers.

And I know this is the subject of a whole 'nother rant, and I'm sure you agree, but when I hear the news talk about the average amount people are spending on gifts per year, I just am amazed! I know how it can add up, especially if you have a bunch of kids, but I heard the average this year (maybe in the States) is approaching $800!!! OMFG. That's like, beyond the spirit of giving.

[sabotabby]

Fortunately, I'm a total cheapskate. But the sheer number of people I've had to buy presents for increases every year (immediate family/step-family, and everyone's long-term partners), so $800 for people who actually do serious shopping (I don't) doesn't sound that outlandish. Ugh.

[threeliesforone.livejournal.com]

when i worked at dominion [the grocery store] years ago, if the chrismas carols were turned on too soon or played too often, there'd be a workers' revolt. seriously. although, the store was at don mills & lawrence, close to both very muslim, hindu & jewish neighbourhood of the city. the management saved the heavy christmas song rotation until very close to christmas, when the head offices mandated it. basically, its on to remind people to BUYBUYBUY!!!! & has nothing to do with celebrating the birth of jeebus in general.

[sabotabby]

I think the weirdest for me was when I stayed with a Jewish family in New York, and they insisted on playing Christmas carols in the car. I do think you're right about the motive, though.

[fannishnonsense]

99.9 percent of Christmas music is terrible. But I do like "Father Christmas" by the Kinks. But then, I grew up listening to Dr. Demento, so I probably have a skewed view of christmas music anyway.

[sabotabby]

Who's Dr. Demento?

If you'll forgive my recycling of material...

[nom-de-grr.livejournal.com]

I have a great story for you!

When I was working at Barnes & Noble, there was this surly, unhappy guy named Pete working in receiving. Pete wasn't a bad guy, he just felt as we all did: that our lives were being wasted at B&N. In any case, one holiday season, the music department was running a competition amongst its staff to see who could sell the most of their chosen holiday CD, and this translated into endless cycles of awful music. The music manager was pitching a particularly evil disc called "Yule Be Swingin'" Get it? It's Christmas-themed swing music! It's a pun! In any case, since it was being pitched by the manager, who controlled the CD player with an iron vise, "Yule Be Swingin'" wound up turning the entire staff into crazed retail monsters. At last Pete couldn't take it anymore: he walked out of receiving, walked in the music department, opened the CD player, and snapped "Yule Be Swingin'" RIGHT THE FUCK IN HALF.

After that, Pete was a Christmas legend at that store.

Re: If you'll forgive my recycling of material...

[sabotabby]

He's my hero, too, and I've never even heard that particular abomination.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

They make a good chai latte.

[sabotabby]

They make a lot of things that I like, although the flavoured lattes aren't really my thing. Nevertheless, this time of year I find it impossible to just kick back and have a coffee there.

[arianadii.livejournal.com]

I think all of the music that is played in malls and shopping centers is bad anyway...all year round. I hate most of it.

I like (certain) Christmas carols. They don't make me feel special. It's just a nostalgia thing. Christmas carols (especially sung by Bing or Dean) give me the warm fuzzies. Maybe it's because all of my memories of family and Christmas are good.

I know. I'm a freak. I have a functional family and a happy childhood which makes me inclined toward sentimentality.

The icon pic was taken at Christmas. Happy. Happy.

[sabotabby]

Christmas is a fairly recent thing in my family (like, the last few years), so while it's pretty fun and all, my childhood memories of this time of year involve being forced to sing about the baby Jesus in the school gymnasium. Or worse, having it mentioned that, just for me, we'd be forced to sing one token "Hanukkah carol." It was a recipe for brain trauma.

[jaymoh.livejournal.com]

Here's wishing you a happy War on Christmas season.

jvmatucha just posted "the Little Drummer Boy" performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. I can tolerate watching it because Bowie looks so pretty. The acting is hilarious too.

[sabotabby]

I'm told it's good. I'm afraid to click, though, because every Christmas carol has the additional problem of being earwormy. Maybe I can watch the Bowie pretty with the sound off. ;)

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Hearing corny pop christmas music all the time offends me as a musician, too. Horrible renditions, arrangements afer arrangements that sound exactly alike, etc. I enjoy my christmas music, but I'm very selective of what CDs I buy. And there's nothing to ruin a nice holiday by having it overblown for months before it happens.

And that doesn't even include the whole thing about subjecting poor non-christians to bad music for three months.

[sabotabby]

Yeah, that's the other thing I don't get. No one likes Muzak, do they? So why does anyone like Muzak arrangements of Christmas carols?

[pluvka.livejournal.com]

since i obviously am not working right now, i am doing my best to avoid ALL public places until christmas is well past. it's not very easy. they are even playing (completely fucking awful) christmas songs in the grocery store and doctor's office. BAH!

[sabotabby]

That's a good idea. Alas, I'm surrounded by public places, and some of them have coffee in them.

[freshwater-pr0n.livejournal.com]

It's our fault. We went into this War on Christmas half-cocked and allowed the insurgency to grow too strong.

Like Bill O'Reilly said - these people have a prehistoric culture. They're going ga-ga over some guy who was born in a barn and (for three days, at least) lived in a cave.

It's time to drop the bomb, or at least destroy every extant copy of "Feliz Navidad."

[sabotabby]

Do we have an exit strategy? Are we adverse to turning the mall into a sea of glass?

[esizzle.livejournal.com]

I think it's a conspiracy by the Grinch who stole Christmas, as if people aren't unhappy enough during the cold winter holidays, family dinners and all that other good stuff that comes with Christmas, now it is the same happy cheerful commercial but tasteless music to ruin everybody's day. It is classic Grinch.

[sabotabby]

Your theory holds merit.

[qraccoon.livejournal.com]

They've been playing Christmas songs since before thanksgiving at my work. The same ten songs played by eight different artists. I used to like some of those songs. No longer. I fear I may snap before the holidays.

[sabotabby]

No, no. We need you sane for the War on Christmas!

[corvus.livejournal.com]

http://corvus.livejournal.com/301196.html

[sabotabby]

Neither of those count as Christmas carols and you know it.

I'm a mutant.

[andreazenith.livejournal.com]

I get to hear those sappy, cheerful carols once a year/season.

They make me happy.
Generally, this holiday season makes me really damn happy.

I just love a good excuse to spoil people.

At any rate- the carols (everywhere, oh everywhere) remind me of that. =*^.^*=

But we must remember that I get out maybe once or twice every week or two. I am a hermit. =~.^=

*huge hugs*
Anj

Re: I'm a mutant.

[sabotabby]

Ah, see, here's the difference. I get to hear them constantly until February. I think I'll become a hermit too.

[jenlight.livejournal.com]

I'm actually a fan of carolling, I wish it was socially acceptable for people to wander from home to home any time singing old folk songs.

Then you'd be offered in for tea and meet your fellow humans. Where's the hospitality, damn it?

[sabotabby]

I don't think carolling should be restricted to Christmas, in that case.

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

No.
And worse than the Christmas carols are the rock n' roll mutations of Christmas music, like "Jingle Bell Rock."
I hate the Christmas decorations and lights the City puts up all over the place too.
Public buildings should only be decorated for famous victories, celebrating the crushing of foes.

[sabotabby]

And worse than the Christmas carols are the rock n' roll mutations of Christmas music, like "Jingle Bell Rock."

Oh God. I can't stand those. I loathe upbeat rock n' roll to begin with.

I hate the Christmas decorations and lights the City puts up all over the place too.

I will allow for Christmas lights under the same standards that apply to bars and homes. Basically, if you could keep them up all year round and it looks like a first-year student's idea of funky decor, it's okay. This means no Santas, angels, or tree outlines.

Public buildings should only be decorated for famous victories, celebrating the crushing of foes.

Completely agreed.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't mind it so much if they mixed in some other, irreverent holiday music such as "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" and the "Chipmunks Christmas" song.

I confess to having a nostalgic soft spot for certain holiday TV specials such as The Grinch and A Charlie Brown Chistmas. Hell, I even like the stop motion animated version Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. But they ain't eubiquitous like that damn music is. If you don't want to watch, you can just change the channel. But with the music, there is no escape.

Speaking of cartoons, here are two you might like.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

Of course, Alison Bechdel had already done that metaphor.