The Antisocial Socialist

DIM SUM EXPLOSION

FOLLOWED BY BLACK SWAN

SOON TO BE FOLLOWED BY BAD MOVIES AT TRASH PALACE

THAT IS ALL

Check out this awesome thread on Tor.com A bunch of artists—professionals and amateurs alike—are invited to post Lovecraft-inspired art. There's some really amazing work to fill you with squidly joy.

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On a completely unrelated note, this is exactly the sort of thing that pisses me off about the so-called atheist movement. Hey guys, let's write an edgy article about atheists and Christmas! Only we'll mostly just interview atheists from the dominant culture who grew up with warm, fuzzy childhood memories of opening presents on Christmas Day.

I feel like I'm going to be saying this from now until New Year's, but here we go again:

Christmas is not universal.

I don't care how much you don't think it's about religion—for those who are not of your religion and were not raised within your religion, it's going to be about religion, or at the very least, about a cultural experience that we don't share. Stop pretending it's for everyone. It isn't.

I am not obligated to have any sort of "holiday spirit" whatsoever. I mean, I'm happy that I'm getting some time off—I need it. But I don't demand that people observe my religious holidays, and I should not be expected to observe anyone else's. Muslims aren't asking y'all to fast at Ramadan. And yeah, that includes wearing a goddamned Santa hat—it just isn't my tradition, it means nothing to me, and I find it silly. Nor will I sing songs that, however innocuous they may seem to lapsed Christians, are actually celebrations of the (inaccurate) birthday of a deity that I don't believe in.

Anyway, most self-described members of the atheist movement have not let go of a religious mindset. That's why they're a "movement." Not being from an evangelical religious background myself, I have utterly no desire to convert anyone to atheism or spend money on bus ads when it could be used to, say, feed the poor or something.

More on why I can't bloody stand this season later, I'm sure.

ETA: Just to clear up some misunderstandings, I am not saying that you are a bad person or a bad atheist if you celebrate Christmas. Just that I can't stand it when it's assumed to be the default or that people like me are expected to relate to it or participate in it somehow.

The great Comics Curmudgeon took notice of me! That totally made my day. (Thanks to springheel_jack for pointing it out; I read CC frequently but not regularly and I might have otherwise missed it.) Does this mean that Josh reads mf_roasted?

Also via springheel_jack: Michael Crichton is a dick who can't write and can't take criticism. I heard he also has a tiny penis.

Via threeliesforone: UK unions join the War on Christmas. Solidarity forever and mad props to these folks.

News of the awesome: World's tallest man saves two dolphins. (Hat tip: see_my_glock.) (Much sadder dolphin news.)

Company building a fence to keep undocumented immigrants out gets fined for hiring undocumented immigrants. (Hat tip: seanmonster.)

Yesterday, apparently, was the day that they turn on the Christmas carols at the Second Cup. I am not happy about a month of hearing the same bad songs everywhere I go. You know, I understand that there's a certain type of Christian out there who needs to feel special, what with this multiculturalism thing and all of us unsaved types taking over their jobs and mandating gay marriage and lots of abortions. But why the Christmas carols? It works nicely to remind us of our place in the social hierarchy and all that, but these songs are godawful and I can't imagine that Christians like them any more than I do. In fact, I have it on good authority that not every Second Cup cafe in Toronto is owned by Christians.

And the workers; think of the workers. When I worked in retail, there were a few radio stations that we were allowed to listen to, and in some places, a handful of approved CDs. To this day, I am sick of every song that I heard in heavy rotation. It's so much worse when there's one CD that you're allowed to put on. These poor bastards have to work 8- to 10-hour shifts and hear the same 12 songs every day. Even if they liked those songs in the first place, it'll get hellish by mid-December.

So if it's not to make the owners of stores happy, and it pisses off the staff, why does every food and retail establishment insist on playing Christmas carols for a month or so? Does anyone out there like these songs enough to want to hear them everywhere they go?

[Poll #880254]

* And no, "Fairy Tale of New York" does not count. Do you hear them playing it in coffee shops? Because I don't.

In a little while, I will be heading up to my parents' place for the weekend.

Try to stay out of trouble, folks.

To do:

• Ban all Christmas carols. (Punishable by flogging for first offense, keelhauling on second. You won't start humming them a third time.)

• Replace with the following songs: "Fairy Tale of New York" (The Pogues), "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" (Tom Waits), "Christmas in Prison" (John Prine), "Christmas Sucks" (Tom Waits and Peter Murphy), and "The Ballad of the Carpenter" (Phil Ochs). Feel free to add your own suggestions.

• Any more carolers found outside of my apartment will get a menorah up the ass. Stupid Toronto Business Association. I know it's a public street, but I have a right to get into my apartment unimpeded.

I hate this time of year. There are people everywhere, and they all seem to want me to have a migraine.

While good Christian nations slide deeper into barbarism, the self-appointed guardians of everyone else's morality have their priorities straight: Holding back the tide of rampant Jews, Muslims, and atheists who want to herd Christians into camps and feed them to lions and such. In fact, the persecution of innocent Christians is the one thing that both Jews and Muslims agree is a really swell idea.

You might think that there are really deep historical reasons for this, but it's actually quite simple. We hate having to hear bloody Christmas carols everywhere we go.

Anyway, this is worth reading. (Hat tip to rackletang) Because, face it, it's been a depressing morning so far, and we all could use a smile. Fuck Christmas.