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To do:
• Ban all Christmas carols. (Punishable by flogging for first offense, keelhauling on second. You won't start humming them a third time.)
• Replace with the following songs: "Fairy Tale of New York" (The Pogues), "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" (Tom Waits), "Christmas in Prison" (John Prine), "Christmas Sucks" (Tom Waits and Peter Murphy), and "The Ballad of the Carpenter" (Phil Ochs). Feel free to add your own suggestions.
• Any more carolers found outside of my apartment will get a menorah up the ass. Stupid Toronto Business Association. I know it's a public street, but I have a right to get into my apartment unimpeded.
I hate this time of year. There are people everywhere, and they all seem to want me to have a migraine.
• Ban all Christmas carols. (Punishable by flogging for first offense, keelhauling on second. You won't start humming them a third time.)
• Replace with the following songs: "Fairy Tale of New York" (The Pogues), "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" (Tom Waits), "Christmas in Prison" (John Prine), "Christmas Sucks" (Tom Waits and Peter Murphy), and "The Ballad of the Carpenter" (Phil Ochs). Feel free to add your own suggestions.
• Any more carolers found outside of my apartment will get a menorah up the ass. Stupid Toronto Business Association. I know it's a public street, but I have a right to get into my apartment unimpeded.
I hate this time of year. There are people everywhere, and they all seem to want me to have a migraine.