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sabotabbyTo do:
• Ban all Christmas carols. (Punishable by flogging for first offense, keelhauling on second. You won't start humming them a third time.)
• Replace with the following songs: "Fairy Tale of New York" (The Pogues), "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" (Tom Waits), "Christmas in Prison" (John Prine), "Christmas Sucks" (Tom Waits and Peter Murphy), and "The Ballad of the Carpenter" (Phil Ochs). Feel free to add your own suggestions.
• Any more carolers found outside of my apartment will get a menorah up the ass. Stupid Toronto Business Association. I know it's a public street, but I have a right to get into my apartment unimpeded.
I hate this time of year. There are people everywhere, and they all seem to want me to have a migraine.
• Ban all Christmas carols. (Punishable by flogging for first offense, keelhauling on second. You won't start humming them a third time.)
• Replace with the following songs: "Fairy Tale of New York" (The Pogues), "Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis" (Tom Waits), "Christmas in Prison" (John Prine), "Christmas Sucks" (Tom Waits and Peter Murphy), and "The Ballad of the Carpenter" (Phil Ochs). Feel free to add your own suggestions.
• Any more carolers found outside of my apartment will get a menorah up the ass. Stupid Toronto Business Association. I know it's a public street, but I have a right to get into my apartment unimpeded.
I hate this time of year. There are people everywhere, and they all seem to want me to have a migraine.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 06:13 pm (UTC)Would you believe it's as possible to overdose on it, and lump it in with the Bing Crosby/David Bowie rendition of The Little Drummer Boy, as "Kinda good the first time I heard it but I kinda had a surfeit of it" way?
And, ummm..., I hate to admit it, but I sang Christmas carols at a party this weekend.
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Date: 2005-12-21 06:17 pm (UTC)Presumably everyone at the party consented to carolling? That's a bit different.
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Date: 2005-12-21 06:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 06:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 06:17 pm (UTC)Nobody carols in my neighborhood. Yay.
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Date: 2005-12-21 06:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 06:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 06:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 06:49 pm (UTC)There's lots of toys for children when the Christmas time is near,
But the present for the miners is a stocking full of fear.
In the dark hills of Kentucky, there's one gift that may be found,
The coal dust of forgotten days that's lyin' on the ground.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 06:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 07:22 pm (UTC)Here's a suggestion for a Xmas song: Get a 45 LP of the Chimunks' Christmas song, and play it at 33 RPM. The Chipmunks sound like regular people singing in a ho-hum style, but Dave, their human leader, sounds like a demon rom the seventh level of hell! Aaaaaaaaaalvviiiiiiiiiiiiin! Whaaaaaat aaaaare yoooou doooooooung?????
Of course, this is only possible if you have that old school equipment, like me! :D
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Date: 2005-12-21 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-22 04:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:O Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...
Date: 2005-12-21 07:35 pm (UTC)Re: O Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...
Date: 2005-12-21 07:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 08:09 pm (UTC)Fear were "just smart enough to get themselves into stupid trouble," according to a guy I knew in college who was an expert on old-school punk rock. They did have a few great songs, including 'Livin' in the City' and 'I Don't Care about You', plus 'Let's Have a War'. They did have a punchy sense of humor; it's a shame they had to be sociopolitical numbskulls. They completely missed the point of punk rock. And probably everything else.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 08:16 pm (UTC)According to the Wikipedia article, one of the guys in Fear is really left-wing to balance out the really right-wing guy. I think the Ramones were also kind of right-wing, though. Or am I confused?
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Date: 2005-12-21 08:13 pm (UTC)Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble till he started up his Oi band
Safe in the garage or singing in the tub
Till Haji went too far and he plugged in at the pub
'Twas a cold Christmas eve when Trevor and the skins
Popped in for a pint and to nick a back of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the Unity
He unwound Haji's turban and he knocked him to his knees
If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
Haji was a bloody mess, he ran out through the crowd
he said "we'll meet again we are bloody but not unbowed"
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas day on the roof down at 20 Oxford street
If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
On the roof with the nun chucks Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword like that guy in Indiana Jones
Police sirens wailing, a bloody dying man
Haji was alone and abandoned by his band
Trevor was there fading and still so full of hate
When the skins left him there and went down the fire escape
Oi! Oi!
But then Haji saw the north star shining more then ever
So he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
They repelled down the roof with the rest of the turban
and went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon
If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi to the punks and Oi to the skins
and Oi to the world and everybody wins!"
Oi! Oi!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 08:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 08:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 08:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 08:49 pm (UTC)Their fault for being shameless consumers, I say.
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Date: 2005-12-21 08:55 pm (UTC)I ought to relate my one positive Christmas shopping experience, and that was at the liquor store. There is one particularly large liquor store that always has samples, usually of cheap wines and spritzers and things. They go for the hard sell this time of year, though, so they busted out the 15-year-old Glenfiddich. I never would have gotten to try that otherwise, and it was so exciting! Nothing like people getting you drunk while you're shopping for last-minute gifts.
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Date: 2005-12-21 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 09:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2005-12-21 09:47 pm (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-21 09:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-21 11:38 pm (UTC)Otherwise, I hear you sister.
Menorah up the ass!
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Date: 2005-12-22 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-22 01:52 am (UTC)http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/natkingcole74.shtml
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Date: 2005-12-22 02:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-12-22 07:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-22 02:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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