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Atlas Shrugged: Part I, Part II
Yesterday on Atlas Shrugged: Part I, nothing happened except for some shot-reverse-shot of people with dated hairdos hanging out in opulent offices and dining rooms. Oh, and Dagny wanted a piece of Hank Rearden’s steel.
So Paul, Mouch, James, and a bald dude with a villainous pimpstache meet to plot against Rearden Steel, because muahahaha, that’s why. Pimpstache is working on a bill called “Equalization of Opportunity,” which oppresses the rich by allowing them to only own one company each. I don’t think Ayn Rand understood how corporations work any more than she understood how government—or dialogue—work. Even if they didn’t update the railway thing and the newspaper thing, they should have at least updated this bit.
The guy flanked by all the honeys is the improbably named Francisco Domingo Carlos Andres Sebastian d'Anconia, a.k.a. Dagny’s ex. He is at the centre of a really dull and incredibly racist subplot involving ore mines in Mexico. More on that later. Basically, he is a playboy who is squandering all of his wealth in order to trick liberals into unwise investments. How this benefits anyone is beyond me, but enlightened self-interest is admittedly a mysterious force.
Speaking of the Mexican subplot, here it is. Dagny has decided to limit the company’s Mexican line to one train, which will totally screw over the entire country. Apparently Mexico doesn’t have its own oil in this movie and is completely destitute. But she’s removed all investments from Mexico because the “looters” are going to nationalize. So she fists them with the Invisible Hand of the Free Market.
Meet John Galt’s next victim! He walks into Dagny’s office, with this stoned little half-smile, and resigns from Taggart Transcontinental, refusing to give any other explanation beyond, “Whoooooo is John Gaaaaalt?”
Dude is so chopped up into a bunch of pieces at the bottom of a lake right now.
After having unfulfilling sex with Lillian, Hank has some phone sex with Dagny while they both look out windows. He utters the immortal line, “Dagny, what we’re doing—my metal, your railway—it’s us who move the world.”
HOW IS PIGDOG FORMED? HOW CAPITALIST GET PRAGNANT?
If “my metal, your railway” is not hilarious enough on its own, just remember: Randroids are fapping to it.
Galt Victim #3. Galt stalks him as he’s headed to work, picking him up with the line, “I’m simply offering a society that cultivates individual achievement.” By which he means he’s offering to introduce McNamara to his meat cleaver.
Then more economics happens: Mexico nationalizes everything, so Dagny loses her Mexican line. James gets his Washington guys to pass another bill (how is this happening so fast?) that forces the Phoenix-Durango people (remember them? No? Me neither) out of business. Dagny is for some reason upset about this, which makes no sense because she wants to make a profit and those guys were the only remaining competition.
Anyway, don't feel too bad for the Mexicans. Historically, Mexico's done best with a closed economy. Guess who's still going to have natural resources when civilization falls? Hint: It's not Galt's Gulch.
Dagny rides in a limo (what energy crisis?) back to work, where Ellis Wyatt has shown up in front of Dagny’s illuminated map (really, if there’s an energy crisis, they should have made an effort to design sets that looked like there was an energy crisis) to yell at her because the guy who owned Phoenix-Durango was his best friend. And now he’s forced to rely on her shitty line.
Ellis: YOU ARE INCOMPETENT.
Dagny: But we’re replacing the line that killed hundreds of people with UNTESTED METAL. Don’t you see how awesome that is?
Ellis: OMG YOU SUCK.
Yeah, I get why he’s angry, but I still don’t understand why she’s angry. Anyway, he puts the little lady in her place and uses the film’s one allotted swear word. Not well, I might add.
Dagny wrings her hands and tries—but fails—to emote. Maybe she’s feeling guilty about the hundreds of NPCs her company allowed to die (did you think I was going to let that go? Because I’m not going to let that go.). Or maybe it’s just gas. Anyway, she asks Big Love (what exactly is his job in this company?) to get her a dinner date with Francisco’s Anaconda. Big Love tells her that she already has a date with Rearden’s Steel Rod, but she demurs that she’ll eat dinner twice and purge in the bathroom or something.
Dagny’s date with Hank consists of her telling him that she needs to triple her load, but she can’t do it without new engines. He tells her that he might have an engine for her. Right hand to God, I could not make this shit up if I tried.
She leaves without finishing her wine. I guess it wasn’t very good. There was a whole glass there and it doesn’t look like she even touched it.
Dagny’s date with Francisco’s Anaconda, which apparently takes place on the same set—we’re on a budget here, people—consists of her throwing a drink in his face by way of greeting. Hee hee hee. He whoisJohnGalts at her and then takes off, again leaving an entire glass of wine. What is wrong with these rich people? Anyway, I guess we’ve met Galt’s next victim.
The 1% has it rough these days. Why don’t you get a job, you moocher?
World’s Most Boring Cocktail Party. Don’t give her any wine, Hank! She won’t drink it.
Later on, Dagny swaps that necklace she’s wearing for Lillian’s fugly bracelet.
Francisco is a camwhore. He is totally posting this to his Facebook, you guys. I bet he’s one of those people who still pokes everyone on his friends list.
The good news is: Here’s Quark and/or Principal Snyder.
The bad news is that he does not get eaten by a giant snake.
Dagny and her power suit go to the State Science Institute to lecture the scientists about how Rearden Metal is awesome. Scientist Dude and his terrible accent are not convinced. Also, the State Science Institute is a courthouse for some reason. You can actually hear the judge pounding the gavel in the background. I am so confused.
Dagny’s ready to leave, but Scientist Dude has a story. Once upon a time, there were three students that he shared with another professor. One student became Bruce Wayne, one student became a pirate, and one student became a serial killer who stalks rich people and makes their bodies disappear. Yes, Scientist Dude, I would say you failed as an educator here.
I hope you like railway porn, because there’s a lot of it in this movie. Ellis shows up to tell Dagny that she’s doing a heck of a job. She shows exactly as much emotion about it as she does about everything else in the movie.
Hank: I daresay, you have quite a way with the lower classes. By the way, would you like a new bridge?
Dagny: Let me check my budget.
So Dagny agrees to put in a new bridge over what looks like a massive canyon made out of untested metal. Because fuck railway workers, that’s why.
Stay tuned for the final instalment, in which, in keeping with Randroid philosophy, rich people risk innocent lives and destroy national resources out of pure spite.
So Paul, Mouch, James, and a bald dude with a villainous pimpstache meet to plot against Rearden Steel, because muahahaha, that’s why. Pimpstache is working on a bill called “Equalization of Opportunity,” which oppresses the rich by allowing them to only own one company each. I don’t think Ayn Rand understood how corporations work any more than she understood how government—or dialogue—work. Even if they didn’t update the railway thing and the newspaper thing, they should have at least updated this bit.
The guy flanked by all the honeys is the improbably named Francisco Domingo Carlos Andres Sebastian d'Anconia, a.k.a. Dagny’s ex. He is at the centre of a really dull and incredibly racist subplot involving ore mines in Mexico. More on that later. Basically, he is a playboy who is squandering all of his wealth in order to trick liberals into unwise investments. How this benefits anyone is beyond me, but enlightened self-interest is admittedly a mysterious force.
Speaking of the Mexican subplot, here it is. Dagny has decided to limit the company’s Mexican line to one train, which will totally screw over the entire country. Apparently Mexico doesn’t have its own oil in this movie and is completely destitute. But she’s removed all investments from Mexico because the “looters” are going to nationalize. So she fists them with the Invisible Hand of the Free Market.
Meet John Galt’s next victim! He walks into Dagny’s office, with this stoned little half-smile, and resigns from Taggart Transcontinental, refusing to give any other explanation beyond, “Whoooooo is John Gaaaaalt?”
Dude is so chopped up into a bunch of pieces at the bottom of a lake right now.
After having unfulfilling sex with Lillian, Hank has some phone sex with Dagny while they both look out windows. He utters the immortal line, “Dagny, what we’re doing—my metal, your railway—it’s us who move the world.”
HOW IS PIGDOG FORMED? HOW CAPITALIST GET PRAGNANT?
If “my metal, your railway” is not hilarious enough on its own, just remember: Randroids are fapping to it.
Galt Victim #3. Galt stalks him as he’s headed to work, picking him up with the line, “I’m simply offering a society that cultivates individual achievement.” By which he means he’s offering to introduce McNamara to his meat cleaver.
Then more economics happens: Mexico nationalizes everything, so Dagny loses her Mexican line. James gets his Washington guys to pass another bill (how is this happening so fast?) that forces the Phoenix-Durango people (remember them? No? Me neither) out of business. Dagny is for some reason upset about this, which makes no sense because she wants to make a profit and those guys were the only remaining competition.
Anyway, don't feel too bad for the Mexicans. Historically, Mexico's done best with a closed economy. Guess who's still going to have natural resources when civilization falls? Hint: It's not Galt's Gulch.
Dagny rides in a limo (what energy crisis?) back to work, where Ellis Wyatt has shown up in front of Dagny’s illuminated map (really, if there’s an energy crisis, they should have made an effort to design sets that looked like there was an energy crisis) to yell at her because the guy who owned Phoenix-Durango was his best friend. And now he’s forced to rely on her shitty line.
Ellis: YOU ARE INCOMPETENT.
Dagny: But we’re replacing the line that killed hundreds of people with UNTESTED METAL. Don’t you see how awesome that is?
Ellis: OMG YOU SUCK.
Yeah, I get why he’s angry, but I still don’t understand why she’s angry. Anyway, he puts the little lady in her place and uses the film’s one allotted swear word. Not well, I might add.
Dagny wrings her hands and tries—but fails—to emote. Maybe she’s feeling guilty about the hundreds of NPCs her company allowed to die (did you think I was going to let that go? Because I’m not going to let that go.). Or maybe it’s just gas. Anyway, she asks Big Love (what exactly is his job in this company?) to get her a dinner date with Francisco’s Anaconda. Big Love tells her that she already has a date with Rearden’s Steel Rod, but she demurs that she’ll eat dinner twice and purge in the bathroom or something.
Dagny’s date with Hank consists of her telling him that she needs to triple her load, but she can’t do it without new engines. He tells her that he might have an engine for her. Right hand to God, I could not make this shit up if I tried.
She leaves without finishing her wine. I guess it wasn’t very good. There was a whole glass there and it doesn’t look like she even touched it.
Dagny’s date with Francisco’s Anaconda, which apparently takes place on the same set—we’re on a budget here, people—consists of her throwing a drink in his face by way of greeting. Hee hee hee. He whoisJohnGalts at her and then takes off, again leaving an entire glass of wine. What is wrong with these rich people? Anyway, I guess we’ve met Galt’s next victim.
The 1% has it rough these days. Why don’t you get a job, you moocher?
World’s Most Boring Cocktail Party. Don’t give her any wine, Hank! She won’t drink it.
Later on, Dagny swaps that necklace she’s wearing for Lillian’s fugly bracelet.
Francisco is a camwhore. He is totally posting this to his Facebook, you guys. I bet he’s one of those people who still pokes everyone on his friends list.
The good news is: Here’s Quark and/or Principal Snyder.
The bad news is that he does not get eaten by a giant snake.
Dagny and her power suit go to the State Science Institute to lecture the scientists about how Rearden Metal is awesome. Scientist Dude and his terrible accent are not convinced. Also, the State Science Institute is a courthouse for some reason. You can actually hear the judge pounding the gavel in the background. I am so confused.
Dagny’s ready to leave, but Scientist Dude has a story. Once upon a time, there were three students that he shared with another professor. One student became Bruce Wayne, one student became a pirate, and one student became a serial killer who stalks rich people and makes their bodies disappear. Yes, Scientist Dude, I would say you failed as an educator here.
I hope you like railway porn, because there’s a lot of it in this movie. Ellis shows up to tell Dagny that she’s doing a heck of a job. She shows exactly as much emotion about it as she does about everything else in the movie.
Hank: I daresay, you have quite a way with the lower classes. By the way, would you like a new bridge?
Dagny: Let me check my budget.
So Dagny agrees to put in a new bridge over what looks like a massive canyon made out of untested metal. Because fuck railway workers, that’s why.
Stay tuned for the final instalment, in which, in keeping with Randroid philosophy, rich people risk innocent lives and destroy national resources out of pure spite.
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I love you
I don't love this movie
but I love you
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I loved hating this movie.
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It is probably meant like that, but if you haven't read the book and don't know what happens, it can totally be read as him luring them to their deaths. He's always in darkness, you never see his face (fun fact: he is played by the film's *ahem* director), and he waits until they're alone to approach. Then he says the guy's name (it's only guys), spouts some incredibly stilted line, and there's a black-and-white freeze frame declaring the executive of such-and-such missing.
But then Dagny's reaction takes away whatever potential suspense there might be. She has a few lines, like, "why are so many great men disappearing?" and "if this trend continues, we'll be in trouble!" that rule out, from a narrative perspective, something bad happening.
I would have played it—especially if I had escaped from Stalin's Soviet Union—as John Galt potentially being an agent, or multiple agents operating as an urban legend, of the dystopian state, disappearing its enemies. All you need is one character voicing that theory. Because if a targeted group of high-profile, financially well-off people started vanishing, my first thought wouldn't be, "they're jumping ship from a situation where they are more comfortable than anyone around, and going into hiding," it would be, "these people did something to piss off the government and they're all being imprisoned or murdered." Then it would be a twist when we find out they left willingly.
But no one seems to suggest an explanation other than these people disappearing of their own volition, even though that's by far the more logical explanation.
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Even the fonts in this movie suck.
Re: Even the fonts in this movie suck.
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ILU
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