sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (socialism with a human face)
sabotabby ([personal profile] sabotabby) wrote2011-11-21 06:46 am

Atlas Shrugged: Part I, Part II

Yesterday on Atlas Shrugged: Part I, nothing happened except for some shot-reverse-shot of people with dated hairdos hanging out in opulent offices and dining rooms. Oh, and Dagny wanted a piece of Hank Rearden’s steel.



atlas shrugged

So Paul, Mouch, James, and a bald dude with a villainous pimpstache meet to plot against Rearden Steel, because muahahaha, that’s why. Pimpstache is working on a bill called “Equalization of Opportunity,” which oppresses the rich by allowing them to only own one company each. I don’t think Ayn Rand understood how corporations work any more than she understood how government—or dialogue—work. Even if they didn’t update the railway thing and the newspaper thing, they should have at least updated this bit.

atlas shrugged

The guy flanked by all the honeys is the improbably named Francisco Domingo Carlos Andres Sebastian d'Anconia, a.k.a. Dagny’s ex. He is at the centre of a really dull and incredibly racist subplot involving ore mines in Mexico. More on that later. Basically, he is a playboy who is squandering all of his wealth in order to trick liberals into unwise investments. How this benefits anyone is beyond me, but enlightened self-interest is admittedly a mysterious force.

atlas shrugged

Speaking of the Mexican subplot, here it is. Dagny has decided to limit the company’s Mexican line to one train, which will totally screw over the entire country. Apparently Mexico doesn’t have its own oil in this movie and is completely destitute. But she’s removed all investments from Mexico because the “looters” are going to nationalize. So she fists them with the Invisible Hand of the Free Market.

atlas shrugged

Meet John Galt’s next victim! He walks into Dagny’s office, with this stoned little half-smile, and resigns from Taggart Transcontinental, refusing to give any other explanation beyond, “Whoooooo is John Gaaaaalt?”

Dude is so chopped up into a bunch of pieces at the bottom of a lake right now.

atlas shrugged

After having unfulfilling sex with Lillian, Hank has some phone sex with Dagny while they both look out windows. He utters the immortal line, “Dagny, what we’re doing—my metal, your railway—it’s us who move the world.”

how is pigdog formed
HOW IS PIGDOG FORMED? HOW CAPITALIST GET PRAGNANT?

If “my metal, your railway” is not hilarious enough on its own, just remember: Randroids are fapping to it.

atlas shrugged

Galt Victim #3. Galt stalks him as he’s headed to work, picking him up with the line, “I’m simply offering a society that cultivates individual achievement.” By which he means he’s offering to introduce McNamara to his meat cleaver.

Then more economics happens: Mexico nationalizes everything, so Dagny loses her Mexican line. James gets his Washington guys to pass another bill (how is this happening so fast?) that forces the Phoenix-Durango people (remember them? No? Me neither) out of business. Dagny is for some reason upset about this, which makes no sense because she wants to make a profit and those guys were the only remaining competition.

Anyway, don't feel too bad for the Mexicans. Historically, Mexico's done best with a closed economy. Guess who's still going to have natural resources when civilization falls? Hint: It's not Galt's Gulch.

atlas shrugged

Dagny rides in a limo (what energy crisis?) back to work, where Ellis Wyatt has shown up in front of Dagny’s illuminated map (really, if there’s an energy crisis, they should have made an effort to design sets that looked like there was an energy crisis) to yell at her because the guy who owned Phoenix-Durango was his best friend. And now he’s forced to rely on her shitty line.

Ellis: YOU ARE INCOMPETENT.

Dagny: But we’re replacing the line that killed hundreds of people with UNTESTED METAL. Don’t you see how awesome that is?

Ellis: OMG YOU SUCK.

Yeah, I get why he’s angry, but I still don’t understand why she’s angry. Anyway, he puts the little lady in her place and uses the film’s one allotted swear word. Not well, I might add.

atlas shrugged

Dagny wrings her hands and tries—but fails—to emote. Maybe she’s feeling guilty about the hundreds of NPCs her company allowed to die (did you think I was going to let that go? Because I’m not going to let that go.). Or maybe it’s just gas. Anyway, she asks Big Love (what exactly is his job in this company?) to get her a dinner date with Francisco’s Anaconda. Big Love tells her that she already has a date with Rearden’s Steel Rod, but she demurs that she’ll eat dinner twice and purge in the bathroom or something.

atlas shrugged

Dagny’s date with Hank consists of her telling him that she needs to triple her load, but she can’t do it without new engines. He tells her that he might have an engine for her. Right hand to God, I could not make this shit up if I tried.

She leaves without finishing her wine. I guess it wasn’t very good. There was a whole glass there and it doesn’t look like she even touched it.

atlas shrugged

Dagny’s date with Francisco’s Anaconda, which apparently takes place on the same set—we’re on a budget here, people—consists of her throwing a drink in his face by way of greeting. Hee hee hee. He whoisJohnGalts at her and then takes off, again leaving an entire glass of wine. What is wrong with these rich people? Anyway, I guess we’ve met Galt’s next victim.

atlas shrugged

The 1% has it rough these days. Why don’t you get a job, you moocher?

atlas shrugged

World’s Most Boring Cocktail Party. Don’t give her any wine, Hank! She won’t drink it.

Later on, Dagny swaps that necklace she’s wearing for Lillian’s fugly bracelet.

atlas shrugged

Francisco is a camwhore. He is totally posting this to his Facebook, you guys. I bet he’s one of those people who still pokes everyone on his friends list.

atlas shrugged

The good news is: Here’s Quark and/or Principal Snyder.

The bad news is that he does not get eaten by a giant snake.

atlas shrugged

Dagny and her power suit go to the State Science Institute to lecture the scientists about how Rearden Metal is awesome. Scientist Dude and his terrible accent are not convinced. Also, the State Science Institute is a courthouse for some reason. You can actually hear the judge pounding the gavel in the background. I am so confused.

Dagny’s ready to leave, but Scientist Dude has a story. Once upon a time, there were three students that he shared with another professor. One student became Bruce Wayne, one student became a pirate, and one student became a serial killer who stalks rich people and makes their bodies disappear. Yes, Scientist Dude, I would say you failed as an educator here.

atlas shrugged

I hope you like railway porn, because there’s a lot of it in this movie. Ellis shows up to tell Dagny that she’s doing a heck of a job. She shows exactly as much emotion about it as she does about everything else in the movie.

atlas shrugged

Hank: I daresay, you have quite a way with the lower classes. By the way, would you like a new bridge?

Dagny: Let me check my budget.

So Dagny agrees to put in a new bridge over what looks like a massive canyon made out of untested metal. Because fuck railway workers, that’s why.

Stay tuned for the final instalment, in which, in keeping with Randroid philosophy, rich people risk innocent lives and destroy national resources out of pure spite.
ext_27713: An apple with a heart-shape cut into it (emotions: heart)

[identity profile] lienne.livejournal.com 2011-11-21 11:59 am (UTC)(link)
<33333333333

I love you

I don't love this movie

but I love you

[identity profile] bitter-crimson.livejournal.com 2011-11-21 02:16 pm (UTC)(link)
LOLLING 4 DAYS

[identity profile] jvmatucha.livejournal.com 2011-11-21 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Noooooo!! Not Armin Shimerman! How could you do this to me Quark???
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] symbioid.livejournal.com 2011-11-21 03:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Not sure if anyone mentioned this in the comments to your last post or if you saw this mentioned anywhere else, but apparently the people who designed the DVD covers(?) put their blurb about honor of "self-sacrifice" LOL -- they totally had to fix that!
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] bike4fish.livejournal.com 2011-11-22 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
But bad things never happen to rich people, so they must have gone into hiding!

Even the fonts in this movie suck.

[identity profile] nichtsda.livejournal.com 2011-11-22 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't think it was possible for me to hate Bank Gothic more.
ironed_orchid: watercolour and pen style sketch of a brown tabby cat curl up with her head looking up at the viewer and her front paw stretched out on the left (Default)

[personal profile] ironed_orchid 2011-11-23 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
HOW IS PIGDOG FORMED? HOW CAPITALIST GET PRAGNANT?

ILU