In which I gross myself out.

[sabotabby]

New Gaybortion!: There's porn of everything.

Before you lose all respect for me, read this.

And because I can, the Ted Nugent Quote of the Day:

How, ask ye, does an old fart like that historical goofball Nuge have so much dangtootin' fun and be in total control of his adventurous life? Memorize this, kids—write it down, and spread it as far and wide as you possibly can. Ready? I CELEBRATE EACH AND EVERY DAY OF MY JOYOUS LIFE WITH SUCH INTENSITY BECAUSE I AM FIFTY-TWO YEARS CLEAN AND SOBER!

Got that? The old boy is absolutely on fire! No drugs, no alcohol*, no tobacco, no poison, no BS! No idiots getting me to buy into any numbnut peer pressure—NO WAY! Peer pressure is for stupid sheep. And ya know what sheep do don't ya? They mindlessly wander around like lost jerks and stick their sheepy nose up some other sheep's butt and follow them around with no direction of their own. In other words, they got no life. They got no spirit. They got no attitude. They got no nothin'. How worthless can a life be? Peer pressure can kiss my ass.

I know, I know. It's not as good as yesterday's. But it does highlight something I haven't ranted about in awhile, which is that I really hate Fun Conservatives. You know, those guys who like to go on about how they like rock n' roll and talk a lot about non-conformity and being a rebel? Hey, sorry. If you're going to be a conservative, accept with grace the inherent un-hipness of your political position and have the decency to be a curmudgeonly stick-in-the-mud. Face it—there's nothing cool about imperialist war games, trickle-down economies, or totalitarian control of other people's bodies and sex lives. Cool people only torture other consenting adults. Stop trying to be Wild and Crazy Fun Dad. You're embarrassing yourself.

* Budweiser, Anheuser-Busch, and Coors excepted.

Comments

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

I think you had posted that independent interview already. :P

[sabotabby]

Oh, I did. I just re-linked to it because it questions some of Ted's assertions that he's never done any drugs in his life.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

I must have missed it the first time. Awesome.

The rock song list is unintentionally hilarious.

[sabotabby]

There's a sequel, and a few parodies circulating the blogosphere. I'm sad that Ted is not on the list.

[99catsaway.livejournal.com]

I really hate Fun Conservatives. You know, those guys who like to go on about how they like rock n' roll and talk a lot about non-conformity and being a rebel? Hey, sorry. If you're going to be a conservative, accept with grace the inherent un-hipness of your political position and have the decency to be a curmudgeonly stick-in-the-mud. Face it—there's nothing cool about imperialist war games, trickle-down economies, or totalitarian control of other people's bodies and sex lives. Cool people only torture other consenting adults. Stop trying to be Wild and Crazy Fun Dad. You're embarrassing yourself.

One of the best things I've read in a while. You win. I think it deserves a metquote.

[sabotabby]

OMG really?

[99catsaway.livejournal.com]

YA. RLY.


:)

[sabotabby]

NO WAI!!

[denovan.livejournal.com]

omg. you just made my day.

no wait, my whole week.

[sabotabby]

Glad to be of service.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

Oh man, do you remember that This Modern World that had the libertarian guy on the motorcycle, and Tom Tomorrow talking about how conservatives were hip rebels and iconoclasts on largely liberal campuses? I'm looking for it, but I can't find it.

[sabotabby]

I haven't seen it. I need to see it. Today's Mallard Fillmore suggests that FOX is a rebellious minority within the Biased Jewish Librul Media, though.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

Well, duh. Someone has to fight back the Islamist-Queer-Illuminati alliance.

Looking for that cartoon ... this may take awhile!

[apperception.livejournal.com]

Found it

[sabotabby]

Yep, that's exactly what I was talking about.

I'm going to go write a letter to the editor now.

[princessrugger.livejournal.com]

you're such a buzzkill!

[sabotabby]

It's the PC feminism. I have no sense of humour.

[princessrugger.livejournal.com]

and the canadianism, obviously. we all know the only recreation available recreation in canada is hating america.

[princessrugger.livejournal.com]

and apparently the only recreation available in america is commenting without proofreading first.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

And taking cheap prescription drugs.

[sabotabby]

And NASCAR.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOU

[apperception.livejournal.com]

Crap. This should have been in response to the recreation in Canada comment.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go watch What About Bob!

[princessrugger.livejournal.com]

that goddamned top 100 list made me twitch. ugh! aside from the obvious fact that they you want people to stop fucking, marry people they hate, raise children they don't want, bust their asses working their whole lives to get nowhere, die in wars, and wither away as the sun is choked out by limitless amounts of greenhouse gasses, these are the very same people who see no merit whatsoever to publicly funded art or music education (or, really, any education at all that isn't vomited directly from the bible). have fun with your rock and roll while you can, fundies! if you get your way, nobody will know how to read a times signature in a few years and won't that rain on your rebel parade then?!

*runs screaming into woods*

[sabotabby]

And seriously, what is so rebellious about liking classic rock? Everyone likes classic rock (well, except me because I'm a curmudgeonly stick-in-the-mud and it all sounds the same to me). That's why it's called "classic." It's been accepted into the social fabric of Western culture. Anyone who is still scandalized by the Beatles is probably in a nursing home.

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

I'm not so big on classic rock. Except for some of the good stuff.

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

Someone should point out to Ted that by owning all those guns, he's keeping them out of the hands of other red-blooded 'merkins.

[sabotabby]

Maybe all of the pot smokers and petty thieves whom he wants to send to prison for life can be press-ganged into making more and more firearms for free.

[altoidsaddict.livejournal.com]

Um. Aren't an awful lot of those songs an ironic ode to conservatism and the Republican Party?

I'm sure the sense of humor in the average National review columnist is at best vestigial, but come on.

[sabotabby]

Irony is dead. Kissinger, Nobel Peace Prize, etc.

[lemur-man.livejournal.com]

Ugh, fun conservatives. Rock 'n' roll is probably the most conservative musical genre there is and yet conservatives have to play up the rebellion factor to make it seem like there's something daring and edgy about liking it. Not to mention the fact that Miller either misses the point of, or reads way too much into, at least half the songs.

[sabotabby]

My favourites on the list were Living Color (first, because I like that song, and second, because he had to get one black band in there to prove that he wasn't racist) and the Clash. I mean, the Clash. A later version of the list included "Holiday in Cambodia," by the Dead Kennedys. I was kinda hoping for "Love Me, I'm a Liberal" (although I guess it isn't a rock song), just to see how spectacularly he could miss the point.

Also, the Iron Maiden one. Coleridge wasn't a conservative. He was a maybe-queer, opium-taking socialist.

I'm one of those people for whom most rock music sounds the same. I don't get people who argue about whether the Beatles were better than the Stones, as they sound fairly similar to me. (And yeah, I listen to a lot of folk and country with the same three chords, but I don't claim that these songs are innovative or edgy.)

[lemur-man.livejournal.com]

I don't get the Clash, either as a 'political' band or as anything other than a bunch of guys in sleeveless shirts who were all about posturing and bad covers.

How many other rock songs quote directly from Samuel Taylor Coleridge?

Well, there's that one by Frankie Goes To Hollywood (OMG TEH GAY!). Ooops.

I don't get people who argue about whether the Beatles were better than the Stones, as they sound fairly similar to me

The Stones are the ones with the off-key singer and the sloppy guitar playing.

I think the Fun Conservative reasoning must be something like: rock was once rebellious and scared uptight parents, and conservatives hated it, but now it's accepted and normal, which means it's okay for me to like it for its non-conformist image.

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

I think it's as much an indication of the Boomer sell-out as anything else. The "don't trust anyone over 30" crowd are now in their 50s and haven't let go of the rebellious self-images of their youth, despite the fact that they are the dominant political and cultural group, they are the establishment, they are the Man.

They can no longer be politically radical—it's against their best interests to do so—but they can cherish their mythology of being the radical, badass, young, misunderstood, hard-done-by generation, as they tool down to the Mall in their SUVs to buy a re-release of the Beatles.

[lemur-man.livejournal.com]

And then beat the younger generations over the head with all their 'you missed out on all the best stuff' crap.