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Atlas Shrugged: Part I, Part I
Nov. 20th, 2011 07:51 pmGentle readers, I have thrown myself on the ultimate grenade for you. I have made the ultimate sacrifice. I have taken a bullet—not just any bullet, mind you, but a bullet forged from pure Rearden Metal.
Yes, folks, I watched Atlas Shrugged: Part I so you don’t have to.
First off the bat, I’d like to dedicate this review to Comrade Marcell, whose piracy skills rival that of Ragnar Danneskjöld himself. I also owe a debt of gratitude to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
caprinus for pointing me in the direction of this loltastic story about how Lululemon is run by Randroids. People, don’t buy their clothes, please. For one thing, they are overpriced for what amounts to sweatpants, and for another, they force their employees to take workshops run by Landmark, a stupid cult that ate my friend’s brain. But mostly you should not buy their stuff because they threaten to turn an entire generation of ditzy yoga bunnies into raving Objectivists.
With that out of the way, I should also mention that Atlas Shrugged is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot of bad movies. But this movie not only makes a mockery of economics, politics, science, and logic, but it is also a feat of terrible acting, cinematography and editing. Everyone in it could have been replaced by a robot and their acting would have been more expressive. Even Armin Shimerman—the only actor in the entire project that I recognized—was clearly phoning it in. To top it off, it’s boring as shit. I had to take multiple breaks to, like, scrub the grout in the bathroom with a toothbrush and read Comintern debates from the 1970s to keep from falling into a coma from sheer boredom.
In order to make this movie slightly more entertaining, I have decided that it is actually about a serial killer whose modus operandi is to stalk the most insufferable douchebags he can find, murder them, and dissolve their bodies using hydrofluoric acid. It sounds harsh, but once you’re introduced to these characters, you’ll understand that he’s actually doing a public service. If you haven’t read the book and assume that Parts 2 and 3 of this abortion are never made, my theory is entirely plausible.
Okay, so! Let’s find out ( just who this John Galt person is )
Next up: Dagny has a date. Multiple dates. Girl gets around.
Yes, folks, I watched Atlas Shrugged: Part I so you don’t have to.
First off the bat, I’d like to dedicate this review to Comrade Marcell, whose piracy skills rival that of Ragnar Danneskjöld himself. I also owe a debt of gratitude to
caprinus for pointing me in the direction of this loltastic story about how Lululemon is run by Randroids. People, don’t buy their clothes, please. For one thing, they are overpriced for what amounts to sweatpants, and for another, they force their employees to take workshops run by Landmark, a stupid cult that ate my friend’s brain. But mostly you should not buy their stuff because they threaten to turn an entire generation of ditzy yoga bunnies into raving Objectivists.With that out of the way, I should also mention that Atlas Shrugged is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot of bad movies. But this movie not only makes a mockery of economics, politics, science, and logic, but it is also a feat of terrible acting, cinematography and editing. Everyone in it could have been replaced by a robot and their acting would have been more expressive. Even Armin Shimerman—the only actor in the entire project that I recognized—was clearly phoning it in. To top it off, it’s boring as shit. I had to take multiple breaks to, like, scrub the grout in the bathroom with a toothbrush and read Comintern debates from the 1970s to keep from falling into a coma from sheer boredom.
In order to make this movie slightly more entertaining, I have decided that it is actually about a serial killer whose modus operandi is to stalk the most insufferable douchebags he can find, murder them, and dissolve their bodies using hydrofluoric acid. It sounds harsh, but once you’re introduced to these characters, you’ll understand that he’s actually doing a public service. If you haven’t read the book and assume that Parts 2 and 3 of this abortion are never made, my theory is entirely plausible.
Okay, so! Let’s find out ( just who this John Galt person is )
Next up: Dagny has a date. Multiple dates. Girl gets around.
