Nov. 8th, 2013

sabotabby: raccoon anarchy symbol (red flag over TO)
Fuck me, but the SUN is fun to read lately. Everything is fun to read. This is honestly more than I could have ever dreamed would happen when the Honourable Wife-Beater was elected mayor three years ago.

Today's revelations: The Sweary Video, in which a drunken, probably high Ford threatens to kill some dude. Anthony Smith? Any number of Star reporters? Who the fuck knows?

What we do know is it's not The Second Video (the first, obviously, being the Infamous Crack Video). The Second Video is by all accounts a sex tape. Sorry about that mental image.

The other revelation (beyond that the entire Ford family is nuts) is that he had a guy severely beaten in jail for pissing him off. Because that's how our Honourable Wife-Beater rolls.

Holy. Fuck.

Things I want to know:

1. Did Ford have Anthony Smith murdered? I think yes.
2. Who else is in the sex tape? The answer is probably those two girls from St. Patrick's Day. Probably.
3. Is this all going to end in a bloody shootout? I think so.
4. If not, what the fuck will it take to get this guy booted from office?
5. Don't you think he looks tired?

Meanwhile, I believe we all should be emphasizing that the crack video and its fallout is the political equivalent of busting Al Capone for tax evasion. Keep talking about his policies, guys, particularly those around harm reduction. Drug-addled insanity is not a bug of austerity measures and conservative policy; it's a feature. The Federal Tories know it and they're pissing their pants. These people are the global elite—they live above the law, raking in the profits from the War on Drugs while snorting up with hookers in hotel bathrooms. Ford's sole mistake was crossing lines of race and class to do the wrong kind of coke.

thug life photo thuglifefords_zpsacb903c0.jpg

ETA: [livejournal.com profile] symbioid's comment reminded me of another detail I'd neglected to mention, WHICH IS THE NUMBER OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS SHOWING UP AT CITY HALL LATELY. Because what? First Iron Sheik appeared and challenged Ford to a fight (previously he had arm-wrestled Hulk Hogan in a desperate attempt to save his political career), then Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake came to try to stage an intervention. And was asked to leave.

Just. What.

Federally, let's not forget that the Liberals are just as bad. Justin Trudeau, our Canuckistani equivalent of feudal royalty, made a loltastic misstep with his $250-a-head ladies-only networking event. Ladies! What's your favourite virtue? And isn't Justin's hair dreamy? Just read the link; I'm chiming in late and the internet's already all over this one.

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