This afternoon, Zork-style

[sabotabby]

You are standing in a warm, sunlit KITCHEN. Two CATS are whining at you. There is not enough milk for coffee tomorrow, though this is not why they are whining.

> GROCERY SHOP

You shop for groceries. Aren't you the responsible little adult?

> INVENTORY

Three bags of gross chips that you don't like but the kids will.
Two bags of Twizzlers. Fuck yeah, Twizzlers.
A box of energy bars
A bag of peaches
A bag of apples
Two pints of raspberries
Three bags of milk

> PUT AWAY GROCERIES

As you are putting away one of the bags of milk, you notice that it has a hole in it.

> OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Yeah, you are not going to return it now, are you?

> NO

The bag is leaking all over the place.

> SEARCH FRANTICALLY

You find a pitcher.

> INSERT MILK IN PITCHER

There is not enough pitcher to accommodate all of the milk.

> FLAIL

Why don't you just drink it?

> I DON'T LIKE MILK

You are standing in a warm, sunlit KITCHEN. Two CATS are whining at you.

> SEARCH

What do you want to search for?

> SEARCH FOR ALCOHOL TO PUT IN MILK

Are you sure?

> SEARCH FOR ALCOHOL TO PUT IN MILK

You discover that, indeed, you have a staggering amount of alcohol.

> INSERT CREME DE MENTHE AND CREME DE CACAO INTO MILK

You are now DRUNK.

Comments

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

That was awesome.

[sabotabby]

So is my Grasshopper.

[mycrazyhair.livejournal.com]

Heh. And here I thought the CATS were going to get the milk. *g*

[sabotabby]

CATS do not get the milk. Certain CATS kept sabotabby up all night and gacked all over zingerella's bed.

[numb3r-5ev3n.livejournal.com]

Where do I send your free internet?

[sabotabby]

Here is fine. I could use a new internet, since mine keeps going on the fritz.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

I kind of love you a whole lot. <33333

[sabotabby]

Awww I love you too.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

My family has had a bag of milk with a hole in it in recent memory!

Except that the hole got there because the bag of milk was carried home from the grocery store in the same grocery bag as the live crabs.

We put it in a pitcher and called it the crab milk and drank it very reluctantly.

[sabotabby]

...why did you put bagged milk in a bag with live crabs? Crabs have sharp bits.

Did it taste like crab? I need to know.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

It did not taste like crab, and I was not in on that bagging decision. XDDDDD

[sabotabby]

It is a poor, if endlessly amusing, bagging decision.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

As I recall, no one was willing to own up to it after the fact. :D

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

[like]

[sabotabby]

:D

[purveyorofchaos.livejournal.com]

I hurt my back working a 9 hours shift in 7 inch platform heels, and then promptly did another 7 hour one last night.

Hence, I've been sitting around with various liniments attempting to recover. I happen to have some Tramadol lying around and thought it was a grand idea to take some for the pain. Turns out Tramadol does little for my back pain but damn does it ever get me high.

Wheeeeeeeee!

[sabotabby]

Wooohoo! Enjoy! And feel better.

[quietprofanity.livejournal.com]

LOL.

[sabotabby]

*woozysmile*

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

LOL. Also bag milk tee hee Canada. /obligatory american milk bag comment

[sabotabby]

I knew this was going to turn into a discussion about milk bags and the inferiority thereof. All I can say is that milk bags are great. G-R-E-A-T.

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

I'm sure they are just dandy! But they are weird and amusing and slightly mysterious.

[sabotabby]

It's actually fun emptying them into pitchers, because you just cut the bottom and then it's like milking a cow without the grossness of there being a cow udder.

[six-crazy-guys.livejournal.com]

really? *blinks* Around here in Quebec, you cut a corner at the top and angles a jar in which the entire bag fits.

[pope-guilty.livejournal.com]

I had been unaware of the bags of milk phenomenon.

[ironed_orchid]

Me too.

[seaya.livejournal.com]

I hate drinking milk, buy if I did drink milk, I would not think that a hole in my milk meant my milk was free of contamination. Just saying.

[sabotabby]

The coffee sterilizes it.

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

Plus, it is actually pasturized. Course, if you let it sit for a while...ew?

[sabotabby]

In fairness, LJ's been pretty pathetic lately.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

...

Somebody should metaquote it. :D

[caprinus.livejournal.com]

Well, I waited and waited...

[theonlytwin.livejournal.com]

i want all things to be in zork.

[sabotabby]

Everything is better with Zork.

Re: Want some rye? Of course, you do.

[sabotabby]

zorklife.

[culpster.livejournal.com]

Yeah I'm not saying this was better than my weekend, cause mine rocked; but it sure was fun to read!

I tried to get loaded on polar bears once (subtract milk from CDM/CDC). I nearly went into diabetic shock.

[sabotabby]

My weekend was generally pretty good. Film planning on Friday, brunch on Saturday, lots of telly, booze.

subtract milk from CDM/CDC)

OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

[culpster.livejournal.com]

Peer pressure of course.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. XD

[gillen.livejournal.com]

Milk in bags.

::boggle::

Canadians...

[ironed_orchid]

LOLLING

That is awesome.

INTREPID HEROES OF LIVEJOURNAL

[symphorophilia.livejournal.com]

Haha, I have nothing to say but: FANTASTIC ENTRY.

[treehavn.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. For what it's worth, I drank several pints (although not of alco-milk) and got locked in the city cathedral after hours. Good times!

[mistersmearcase.livejournal.com]

I think I found a site once where you could play Zork online. And realized I had forgotten all I knew about Zork.

"> SEARCH FOR ALCOHOL TO PUT IN MILK" = LULZ

[auralarua.livejournal.com]

Hahaa fucking A.

Obligatory I remember when post.

[mysteri.livejournal.com]

Came here from Metaquotes after alarming my teenage son when I randomly burst out laughing. This post is fantastic. It is made even better by the fact that Zork was the first computer game I ever played way back when I was only 13 or so. My folks had a TRS 80 computer that I kid you not used a cassette tape player for the drive. I miss that game. Must find it now.

Re: Obligatory I remember when post.

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

Awww...that sounds like my Commodore 64 back in the day! Good times, man! Good old-school geeky times!

[boogieshoes.livejournal.com]

also here from metaquotes, and just wanted to ask when getting eaten by a grue was scheduled? cause i so want to read that.

thanks for making me laugh today! :-)

-bs