Honourable Wife-Beating Drunk-Driving Mayor story of the day

[sabotabby]

I like this one. It's reprehensible, but also kind of funny.

Our Honourable Wife-Beating, Drunk-Driving Mayor also apparently talks on his cell when driving, which, last time I checked, was illegal. (And rightly so; this is one law that Sabo the Ex-Anarchist would like to see enforced to an even greater degree than it is now. Throw the book at 'em, I say!)

A woman driving with her six-year-old daughter noticed Ford blatantly breaking the law, and mother and daughter both gave him a thumbs-down. Our Honourable, Wife-Beating, Drunk-Driving, Reckless-Driving Mayor responded with—well, another sort of hand gesture entirely.

Yep, he flipped the bird to a six-year-old girl. Awesome.

I am not a rigidly intolerant person, as you know. I believe in restorative justice. And in this case, the necessary response is quite clear.

Suspend Rob Ford's driver's license! Look, the man is a hazard behind the wheel. It's only a matter of time before he kills or injures someone. Do we need to wait until he hurts an innocent person? Don't let the man drive!

Imagine the possibilities. A minivanless Ford would be forced to walk, transit, or bike amongst the common people, his constituents. He would have to navigate the underfunded, often needlessly complex transit system. He would have to invest in a good bike helmet and a prayer as he battles traffic on roads that have had their bike lanes removed. He would understand the importance of linking the outer suburbs with the downtown core, and providing safe, accessible, cheap transportation alternatives to citizens of his city. This could only have a net positive effect on the city of Toronto.


[Caption contest starts now. No harping on the Honourable Wife-Beater's weight please; there are plenty of other things to mock him for. Like the fact that he broke the law and gave a six-year-old child the finger.]

Comments

[dubaiwalla.livejournal.com]

You can dream, sabotabby, but wouldn't he just find a driver and complain about poor people who didn't know they should do the same?

[sabotabby]

Don't ruin my fantasy, dubaiwalla! In a perfect world, no one would agree to drive him anywhere.

[dubaiwalla.livejournal.com]

But in this perfect world, would he have become mayor in the first place?

[sabotabby]

Well, there's that.

[sabotabby]

He would love that.

We need for the only driver he can find to be a York University Social and Political Thought grad student who won't shut up about Althusser. That would be awesome.

[sugarmommaless.livejournal.com]

I would be shocked if Ford had ever heard of Atlas Shrugged... let alone read it, what with his hate on for the library system. :-/

[90pointmetaphor.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the whole reason that Douggie's there?

[metawidget]

Suspend his license 'til well past when the voters of Toronto render him unemployed. Then at least he won't have his driver delivered by gravy train.

[ginny-t.livejournal.com]

I was just about to point out that very thing. Sorry for harshing your squee, Sabs.

[90pointmetaphor.livejournal.com]

As for a caption -

'Oh look, a puppy! I better give it the finger quickly!'

[sabotabby]

And then drink orphan tears. Fermented orphan tears. While driving.

[cupric-acetate.livejournal.com]

He'd probably run the puppy over too just to make sure Toronto has nothing nice left.

[sabotabby]

This.

[lokilokust.livejournal.com]

'We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both.'
-Louis Brandeis, Supreme Court Justice from 1916-1939, according to Raymond Lonergan in Mr. Justice Brandeis, Great American (1941), p. 42

[sabotabby]

Commie. Why do you hate America?

[lokilokust.livejournal.com]

because it pushed me down and stole my lunch money and scratched up me thomas dolby rekkids.

[chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com]

He does look remarkably like a toad who has just swallowed a particularly juicy fly

[sabotabby]

Toads are significantly more adorable.

[pofflewomp.livejournal.com]

He looks scary.

[sabotabby]

He is terrifying.

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

[quote]Imagine the possibilities. A minivanless Ford would be forced to walk, transit, or bike amongst the common people, his constituents. He would have to navigate the underfunded, often needlessly complex transit system. He would have to invest in a good bike helmet and a prayer as he battles traffic on roads that have had their bike lanes removed....[/quote]

Or one of his corrupt cronies would provide him with a ride, perhaps even a limo.

/cynical spoil-sport.

[sabotabby]

Stop harshing my squee.

[sabotabby]

ISN'T THAT THE BEST THING EVER?

[spuzbal.livejournal.com]

It sounds like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Also, I didn't realize your mayor was King Koopa.

[jamie-miller.livejournal.com]

It's not so much his weight, but the fact that his head does not match his body. It's like an XXL head attached to an L body with the neck part missing.

[sabotabby]

Yeah, it's a bit weird. It makes every photo of him seem 'shopped.

[valeriekeefe.livejournal.com]

He does seem like they were trying to cast the mayor of Toronto and accidentally someone sent over a 1970's ABC movie-of-the-week Dickensian workhouse foreman and slapped him into a two-piece suit.

[seanmonster.livejournal.com]

Maybe its my monitor, but is he always that shade of reddish...ness? He looks like a freshly engorged vampire.

[sabotabby]

I think that's his actual skin colour, and yes. He drains the life from the city.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

...oh my god

I never realized it before

but he is this guy.

[sabotabby]

Oh God. He is.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

D:

SAVE US, PROBLEM SLEUTH