Sabotabby Reads an Incredibly Terrible Book

[sabotabby]

Adolf Hitler, the Ultimate Avatar, by Miguel Serrano:
A recap of utter epicness
By sabotabby, Professional Internet Martyr

As you might know, I kind of have a thing for wacky conspiracy theories. The wackier the better, really. The best conspiracy theory of all time, of course, is the one where Hitler doesn’t kill himself at the end of World War II, but instead takes off in a UFO that transports him to Antarctica, where he finds the gateway to the hollow centre of the Earth. Yes, this is a thing that people believe. Said people are, well, occasionally prone to publishing books about their unique belief system. As much as I enjoy this theory, these books are, shall we say, a little difficult to read.

Because he hates me, apperception kindly e-mailed me Miguel Serrano’s 600-page opus on Hitler, yoga, deep ecology, and if I’m very, very unlucky, tantric sex as well. I am pretty sure that Chilean New Age Neo-Nazis are into tantric sex. I thought of obtaining some background information on Mr. Serrano for context, but the Wikipedia page detailing his belief system was so batshit insane that I think it left me more confused than elucidated.

At any rate, I’m going to read the entire fucking thing so you don’t have to.



Let’s start with the cover:



I admit that this is completely badass and excellent and I am tempted to get a tattoo of it. Look at how beautiful it is. Okay, maybe not a tattoo, but at least a t-shirt.

Well, if I wasn’t worried about getting mistaken for a Chilean New Age Neo-Nazi.

The author photo is also pretty good:



Anyone else remember when this sort of photography was de rigueur for books by Sartre and Hesse? Deep, man. Perhaps I should have gotten stoned before embarking on this, er, adventure.

On to the actual book.

Foreword by Norman Lowell

This is not a Book; it is musical mystery and mysticism, Darkness and Light: Esoteric symbolism, Astral Travel, Master and Pupil and so much more. A Book describing the ongoing, titanic and eternal battle between Gods and Devils – between a Dark Force, a Satanic Spirit and a coming, or returning Hyperborean, Aryan Age.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, the Foreword tells us that we need to do some background reading: the works of one Savitri Devi.

*Googles*



Holy shit. Okay, she sounds way more bizarre than Serrano, which is saying a lot. Apparently these two hung out and were into deep ecology and Nazism together. I always find it funny when Nazis are super-concerned about the environment. Like, tossing 12.5 million people into the gas chamber is totally cool, but boiling lobsters is completely evil.

I’ll try to summarize the foreword:

1. Adolf Hitler was the greatest human who ever lived, so great that he was in fact not even human, but a cosmic archetype—sorry, Archetype—that will one day be reincarnated to save the Aryan race.
2. Jews are the embodiment of the Dark Side of the Force.
3. Nothing personal, Jews! You were kind of badass, even compared to the Nazis. Serrano’s anti-Semitism isn’t petty or anything.
4. Hitler only got it up for Germany. Sexually. Yes, the book is going there already. Thanks, book!

Translator’s Note, by Brother Francis, Franciscan Solitary in the Brahmanic Order of Kristos-Lucifer-Wotan

Okay, what? Really? Fuck this being-an-atheist thing, I want to convert to the Brahmanic Order of Kristos-Lucifer-Wotan. That’s the most metal religion I’ve ever heard of. Seriously, it rocks so hard that it deserves to be airbrushed in a warped blackletter font on the side of a van accompanied by flames and a badass longsword with a pentagram in the hilt and maybe some snakes coiled around it and a skull or twenty.

Vegan Black Metal Chef isn’t even that metal.

Watch on YouTube

He’s pretty metal. I’m just saying that the Brahmanic Order of Kristos-Lucifer-Wotan is the most metal thing I’ve ever heard of.

Now that we’ve gotten this out of the way, the translator’s note is nigh incomprehensible. He admits that not everyone will agree with Serrano’s writing and wishes that he’d phrased things differently (possibly not so, uh, Hitler-worshipping? Who knows?) but this book is basically divinely inspired and thus he was required to translate it as precisely as possible.

Then he does me a bit of a favour by trying to explain Hindu theology. I should probably admit here that despite knowing a lot of its adherents and possessing a white-girl love of Bollywood and Indian food, I don’t know much about Hindu theology. I understand that karma and reincarnation is a big deal, it involves a whole bunch of diverse traditions that can’t be easily summarized, and its pantheon is way cooler looking than that of Western religions. Oh, and Holi is the best holiday ever. Anyway, I don’t think Brother Badass has a particularly clear grasp on Hindu theology either because he asserts that Vishnu is white. And blond. And lives in the North Pole.


Pictured: Not Santa Claus.

I don’t know whether Hitler would have sent blue people into the gas chambers but anyway, moving on.

For some reason, Brother Badass identifies Vishnu with Odin, because this is page 9 and we’ve already left logic and sanity far, far behind, and anyway, Hitler is destined to return with “his Ultimate Battalion (the Wildes Heer, Furious Order of Wotan-Odin)” in an Ultimate Battle of Ultimate Destiny.

Watch on YouTube

There is no soundtrack metal enough for this book, but I’m working on it.

Anyway, blah blah blah Esoteric Hitlerism, blah blah blah Pinochet is awesome, blah blah lightning bolt of Eternity Against Time.

There’s a brief biography of Serrano, including the fun fact that he was Ambassador to the International Atomic Energy Agency and to the U.N. Agency for Industrial Development. The Cold War was a really strange time.

Then there are a bunch of quotes, including one by Ezra Pound, I guess to make the book seem literary.

Incidentally, the table of contents is four pages long.

PART ONE: MEMORIES OF THE ARCHETYPE
Glories of the Night

Serrano’s opus begins with a helpful reminder that he is a martyr for even writing this thing, because all publishers are Jews. And also, everyone will now know that Hitler was a mystical hero! What are you doing, Serrano? Why are you revealing the dangerous and magical secrets of the Third Reich? Don’t you know that the world is not ready?

Anyway, it’s cool, dear readers. Serrano is not afraid to die. He has an actual coat-of-arms (of course he does), and his motto reads: “My honor is loyalty.”



Now, you may at this point be objecting to Serrano’s obviously Chilean-sounding name, but he assures us that his heritage is mostly Visigoth with a dash of Celt. And also Merovingian.



But not that kind of Merovingian. Or the sort that betrayed the Iggdrasil tree. Nice to have that settled. He then goes on to complain about how awful South America is with all the miscegenation that goes on these days. In fact, little Miguel was persecuted and oppressed for having blond hair and blue eyes, and longed to look like the swarthy Mongoloids around him! But he got better.

I feel that at this point it’s only fair to give you a sample of Serrano’s prose style:

My mother died at the age of 23. Two plus three is five. I was five years old when she died. My father died at 32. Three plus two is also five. 555, the polar Hyperborean number of Destiny. When my father died I was eight years old. The number of infinity. If my mother and father had not died my life would be very different. I am an orphan prisoner of infinity, nourished by infinity, by her milk, her blue fire, her uncreated light.

The whole thing is like this.

Fortunately, there are pictures.



Then we get the story of Parsifal, who sailed off with the Holy Grail, for some reason spelled Gral in this book, to the South Pole, which used to be the North Pole for reasons. Which is close enough to Chile to explain Serrano’s niche in the cosmic plan, I guess?

None of this makes any sense. On to chapter 2!

The Great War

Serrano started his career as the prophet of Esoteric Hitlerism by publishing a magazine called The New Age. It was basically the Best Thing Ever. Serrano does not suffer from an excess of modesty. How could someone so young publish something so brilliant? It must be because of the pure Aryanness of his blood.

(Note: My spell checker does not like the word “Aryanness.” Could Microsoft Word be a tool of the International Jewish Bolshevik Conspiracy?)

Anyway, he only escaped persecution because the Jewish Communist Freemasons in charge of Chile were afraid of what would happen in retaliation if Hitler actually won the war.

From here, we segue into some old-fashioned Holocaust denial and some reminiscing about Serrano’s days in publishing. There’s really no transition here.

Then there’s Serrano’s take on the Japanese: Samurai culture is cool and all, but after the war, the Japanese totally became Jews through some sort of Judaizing process that I’m envisioning as the Cyberman transformation in Doctor Who. Also Spain sucks. Italy can stay. He can’t quite make up his mind on Stalin, because despite Stalin being suspiciously Jewy and married to several Jewesses, he also killed a lot of Jews, so he can’t be all bad.

From there it descends into more pseudo-Hindu mysticism, mixed with some Norse mysticism, which in the author’s mind is basically the same thing.

The Lord of Darkness

This chapter flits all over the place like a hummingbird on crack. I don’t know why I expected a book on Esoteric Hitlerism to conform to any conventions of logic and structure. I think this chapter is a discussion of how Jews are both communist and capitalist, but there’s also a heavy dose of Jung and a sprinkling of Kant. Also, Freud was a gay.

Serrano launches into a tirade against science and abstract mathematics, both of which he seems to find uncomfortably Jewish, as exemplified by Einstein. Aryans aren’t interested in splitting atoms but uniting them! No really, he actually says this.

And then there’s this:

I have Jewish friends and even though we do not see the same way I keep correspondence with more than a few. They have not stopped greeting me despite my views and combats.

I skimmed over the rehash of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, because I’ve already read that, but I’ll point out that Serrano admits that it’s fake but finds it eerily prophetic enough to go on at great length about its veracity.

Then we get some more interesting fantasy-type stuff:

Thus as there is a Hyperborean Archetype, a God of the Black Sun, there is also Chaos. A Lord of galactic shadows, who tends towards nothingness and who, in parallel universes, wins his Great War against the Sons of Hyperborean Light. Here on earth he has gone through his followers who are primarily worthy to call themselves this by being called defeated and fallen. The defeat of the "angels who fell in love with the daughters of men," of the animal-men, beings exclusively earthly. This is the "original sin." A Racial Sin.

I have no idea what any of this means.

Basically, World War II was good and all, but the war between the Jew demons with their anti-blood robots and the Hyperborean Siddhas is going to be approximately a million times more awesome.

More discussion about Jews and how they’re actually Syrians. He gets into phrenology, which I always enjoy (though I had to look up what “dolichocephalic” meant). Alas, the ratio of phrenology to Biblical revisionism is less than favourable in this section. Biblical revisionism is boring in comparison to this:

Today the Jew can be defined as the following: a 5 percent of his mix comes from Homo-siriacus, with a round skull, brachycephalic, "Jewish" nose, short stocky body; another five percent from Homo-arabicus, dolicocephalic, elongated skull, slim, tall; another ten percent from Homo-europeaus. Eighty percent remains composed of an indefinite hodgepodge with contrasting traits and qualities.

I can’t imagine what his Jewish friends had to say about this. He must have been a hit at parties.

Then more mysticism and longing for Hyperborea. I think I need another black metal break.

Watch on YouTube

The Maestro

This chapter sheds light on Serrano’s development as a warrior for Hitlerism and how he came to embrace hypnosis, alchemy, reincarnation, and magic, probably because of his great-aunt. He talks a little about his sleep paralysis and some vaguely homoerotic friendships. There’s a bit of hippie-bashing:

After the war, from the sixties until now, an indiscriminate use has been made of occultism, Hinduism, Zen Buddhism, mixing them with black music, the "Beatles," "pop" music, drugs, the "hippies" and even the artificially provoked "boom" in Hermann Hesse, thereby destroying more than two generations of youth around the world.

He will have you know that he’s not that kind of mystic, thank you very much. He received a visitation from the astral body of the Maestro (an Italian diplomat named Hugo Gallo who seems to spend an extraordinary amount of time in Serrano’s bedroom teaching him about astral projection), who told him that his sleep paralysis was his means of connecting to the esoteric, and that he was destined to be a King-Priest, a bridge between worlds—like Hitler!

You know, if Serrano hadn’t declared his objection to LSD (a tool of the Jews) earlier in the book, I’d have a solid theory about what’s going on here. Without it, I can only theorize that there’s some seriously kinky D/s stuff going on with the Maestro’s bedtime visitations and the whole master-and-student dynamic they have.

So anyway, more about how he astral projects all over the place and was able to navigate his way around unfamiliar areas before the invention of Google Maps. I have to say, that’s pretty impressive.

Then there’s a comparison between Hitler and Mussolini, and how Mussolini was human but Hitler wasn’t. Hitler was so not-human, in fact, that Jung theorized that Hitler couldn’t ever marry, having sacrificed his sex life for Germany.

Jung, however, failed to grasp Hitler’s true awesomeness:

Therefore my Maestro said Hitler was an initiate. Because Initiation is this and nothing else. To discover the key, the science that allows being possessed by "his" God. "To die that He might live." And it is quite possible that this God were we ourselves. The "Astral Body with a Face," the "Son of Man." Not an "I," but many, WE. Therefore Hitler was also a God. And if Jung did not realize it, I have.

Right, so then Serrano gets “initiated” as a warrior and it’s incredibly, mindbogglingly homoerotic. There are other warriors, bearing “virile steel,” vibrations, and lots of various swords and daggers banging about. Serrano becomes a Magus of the Third Order, whatever that means. He has visions of Lucifer that are also pretty hot during another episode of sleep paralysis. There’s even an anecdote that hints at tentacle porn. He’s eventually promoted to being a Magus of the First Order. He surmises that Hitler can also astral-project (isn’t it obvious?).

By now you must be wondering either about Hitler’s sex life (though we’ve already established that he couldn’t have one owing to being a God and wholly committed to Germany), and also, if he was so great, why did he lose the war and shoot himself in the head? But don’t worry, dear readers, there are answers! Just not ones that make any sense.

Two years ago, when I was in Vienna talking with an old SS and with an engineer who had worked on secret weapons, they told me this: The Russians had found more than ten carbonised cadavers of Hitler. The thing seems phantasmagorical, like a ghoulish piece of magic. According to them, in no other part of the world had anyone reached such virtuosity with the preparations for a double, a "likeness" (Doppelganger) of Hitler. All the photographs taken in the last days of Hitler were not of him. Because "he was already not there." It is quite possible he was also not present during the attack of July 20th, 1944. The "double" could die, but not Hitler. We know the case of the "likeness" of Churchill, who was assassinated, while the real Churchill was in Turkey.

Obviously. So there could be no last-minute bunker marriage to Eva Braun, because the only thing in the bunker was a dead Hitler clone. Goebbels made the whole marriage story up to stop Jews from spreading rumours that Hitler was gay. Glad to have that cleared up.



The author continues in wide-eyed, paranoid fashion to rant about World War II and how the real reason Hitler never invaded England was because the English were a Nordic people (although manipulated by Jews) and he didn’t want to break up the British Empire. Then there’s some discussion about the Russian Revolution being a civil war amongst Jews.

This is really boring. Fortunately, he breaks further contemplation of Hitler’s suicide/ascension to a higher plane of existence to finally get to the bit about UFOs.



UFOs, you see, were invented by the Nazis in 1944. They were driven by sound and had psychic powers. Obviously Hitler couldn’t have killed himself (he was a God, after all), and must have disappeared. In a UFO. Which then took him to Antarctica.

(Why Antarctica? Because the Maestro saw him there in a vision.)

So in 1947, Serrano went on a pilgrimage to Antarctica, not to find Hitler (because he didn’t), but to locate the entrance to the Hollow Earth, where Hyperborea still exists in a warm oasis.



And that’s the cliffhanger that ends Part 1. There are six parts. I am not entirely sure if I’m insane enough to read the rest, but you can start a betting pool if you’d like.

Comments

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

My mother died at the age of 23. Two plus three is five.

FNORD FNORD FNORD

Thank you! I'm glad there's someone out there to read this stuff for me.

[sabotabby]

FNORD FNORD FNORD

Yes! It's like there are words, and most of them are even translated into English, but none of it makes any goddamned sense.

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

........................................what

(eta: your write-up is hilarious as usual, just, this person, this book, I can't, what)

[sabotabby]

I don't even.

I'm pretty sure it gets less comprehensible, not more.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

What bitter_crimson said.

(Also, why does Brazil get three entrances, and why in Manaus in particular?)

[monster-grrrl.livejournal.com]

Is that an elephant doing tai chi on his coat of arms?

[sabotabby]

I thought it required an elephant. You know, for his appropriation of Hindu theology.

[ironed_orchid]

I’m just saying that the Brahmanic Order of Kristos-Lucifer-Wotan is the most metal thing I’ve ever heard of

This is where i started laughing. Still haven't stopped.

After the war, from the sixties until now, an indiscriminate use has been made of occultism, Hinduism, Zen Buddhism, mixing them with black music, the "Beatles," "pop" music, drugs, the "hippies" and even the artificially provoked "boom" in Hermann Hesse, thereby destroying more than two generations of youth around the world.

GOOD TO KNOW!

[sabotabby]

I think he and the guy who wrote The Marxist Minstrels should hang out sometime.

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for this.

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

argh, pressed the button before I wrote the full post. Our friend Serrano must be mistaken about our great transcendental lord being so sexually pure, after all we've learned from the revealing historical scholarship of The Pink Swastika that Hitler (and all the Nazi leadership) were seekret gheyz and did everything they did because of teh ghey.

Fun fact: My honor is my loyal was the motto of the Waffen SS. Coincidence? Of course not, Serrano's ancient Merovingian ancestors had the ancient Ayran wisdom! He never ripped that off.

On a more serious note, have you've heard of Carlos Allende? He's the inventor of the Philidelphia Experiment conspiracy theory (TLDR version, the U.S. Navy invented inter-dimensional travel in WWII by sending a warship through a to another world in a busy wartime harbor crowded with ships with the help of Telsa and Einstein, he saw it himself), he's one of my favorite all-time cranks because he went to great lengths to falsify bizarre "clues" to his crank theory.

[misslynx.livejournal.com]

I know we talked about this last night (and I still maintain that this guy makes my paranoid schizophrenic ex-brother-in-law sound almost sane by comparison, which takes some doing). But I just have to add a few additional thoughts:

1. If this guy thinks that being a god means one can't have a sex life, he hasn't been paying much attention to either Norse or Hindu mythology, because seriously, some of those gods got a lot of action.

2. I fully agree that the Brahmanic Order of Kristos-Lucifer-Wotan is pretty damn metal, but nothing, to my mind, tops the Vegan Black Metal Chef. So therefore I can only conclude that the Vegan Black Metal Chef is a member of the Brahmanic Order of Kristos-Lucifer-Wotan. In fact, he's probably their secret leader. And wants to know who the hell this Serrano dude is and why he's giving their secret society a bad name with this Hitler shit, and will he please knock it the fuck off or will the VBMC have to come after him with a cleaver and a pan full of scorchingly hot fried tofu?

3. I want to see a huge version of that Hollow Earth drawing, done in a click-and drag style like that XKCD strip with the ndless tunnels and the sky-jellfish.

[sabotabby]

If I had more mad programming skillz I would totally do #3. And I would seriously love to see the scenario you mention in #2.

[karinmollberg.livejournal.com]

Ah, finally! I so often wondered where he had gone off to. Now you can tell the neonazis over in Ulan Bator http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Nazism (just scroll down to Mongolia for ad-dress) all about it. Please buy me a hip Dschingis Khan T-shirt, too! I´ll pay later, in GDR-Theutschmark. I still owe some, you know.

[sabotabby]

Hahaha what.

Though not as hahaha what as Israeli Neo-Nazis.

[auralarua.livejournal.com]

Totally bizarre and wacked! The sleep paralysis stuff is most intriguing, though. Thanks for trudging through this and sharing. You rule.

[sabotabby]

I know a guy who has sleep paralysis and is also into Lovecraft (but not racism). I wonder if there's a connection between it and, like, eldritch hallucinations and being really metal.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Holy. Crap.

Just.... this takes "What the screaming fuck" to new astral dimensions of whatthescreamingfuckery.

You are totally the awesomest for getting through this and not ending up in Arkham Asylum.

[sabotabby]

Yet. The key word you're looking for is "yet."

[karinmollberg.livejournal.com]

Oh, and we desperately need this book read to us at theboringclub wherefore I hope I may link to your readings from there? Don´t worry, most members are either dead (drunk) or just too paralyzed to bother so it won´t be hurtful (I hope) to spread the word. Bores generally being incapable of reading books we need you to take our bath for us, if you please. Let there be light:

[sabotabby]

Oh, by all means. I can also send the PDF of the original if folks are interested.

[lienne.livejournal.com]

ilu

[sabotabby]

<3!

[apperception.livejournal.com]

Reviewing this book is an act of love - but probably not as much love as exhibited by the person who translated it into English.

I was going to tell you about Savitri Devi, but I wasn't sure if you were ready yet.

Also, I feel bad about this, seeing as I only just turned you on to Nazi yoga mysticism, but ...

[sabotabby]

It's a supreme act of sacrifice. I have to wonder about the translator. I mean, for some people it's not hard to babble out 600 pages of sheer insanity, but to translate it?

...that might have to be my next review.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

I wonder why the City of Shamballah looks like a giant sea-creature with tentacles. That's the only puzzling part of this.

"Inspired by Theosophical lore and several visiting Mongol lamas, Gleb Bokii, the chief Bolshevik cryptographer and one of the bosses of the Soviet secret police, along with his writer friend Alexander Barchenko, embarked on a quest for Shambhala, in an attempt to merge Kalachakra-tantra and ideas of Communism in the 1920s. They contemplated a special expedition to Inner Asia to retrieve the wisdom of Shambhala - the project fell through as a result of intrigues within the Soviet intelligence service, as well as rival efforts of the Soviet Foreign Commissariat that sent its own expedition to Tibet in 1924."

Also, whoa!

[sabotabby]

That's the only puzzling part of this.

The only puzzling part.

I think they're supposed to be roads, though why the Hyperboreans decided to make their roads look like something out of a tentacle hentai is beyond me. Then again, I'm a Jewess with low cunning but not actual intelligence.

"Inspired by Theosophical lore and several visiting Mongol lamas, Gleb Bokii, the chief Bolshevik cryptographer and one of the bosses of the Soviet secret police, along with his writer friend Alexander Barchenko, embarked on a quest for Shambhala, in an attempt to merge Kalachakra-tantra and ideas of Communism in the 1920s. They contemplated a special expedition to Inner Asia to retrieve the wisdom of Shambhala - the project fell through as a result of intrigues within the Soviet intelligence service, as well as rival efforts of the Soviet Foreign Commissariat that sent its own expedition to Tibet in 1924."

Right. So. The eventual story that I will base on this now has its protagonists.

[rinue.livejournal.com]

These theories sound schizophrenic, or similar in logic and complexity to the theories of my schizophrenic father in law. (Which do not involve Hitler but do involve angels, UFOs, every religion, and men visiting him in his bedroom.)

[sabotabby]

Normally I wouldn't mock a book on the basis of it being written by a schizophrenic, but in this case he was also a Nazi so I think I'm on safe ground.

[seaya.livejournal.com]

I am not proud to know this, but the two musical clips you posted are progressive metal rather than black metal.

But regarding the book, that is some bat shit.

[sabotabby]

Geek. :)

[karinmollberg.livejournal.com]

I´ve tried to read that german text (it is hard to decipher even with reading glasses) which is supposed to be part of a pocket dictionary for the german federal army. What the text actually says, is largely that UFO is short for unidentified flying object and that saucer-shaped flying vehicles were developed by the germans before and during WWII http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazi_UFOs
It speaks of jet engines but of no other means of transport such as sound or psychic powers.
For a text that stems straight from the federal bureau of defense, it gives me the impression of being somewhat sloppily written but maybe that is a concept to make it more comprehensible to young soldiers before they are sent off to Afghanistan. Of the two authors mentioned by name, only captain (of a frigate) and assesor Karl-Heinz Fuchs is presented with his military range, the others, whoever they are or were, are simply referred to as "largely members of the federal bureau of defense". This strikes me as slightly disorderly for a book of this kind, not to say a bit odd.

[sabotabby]

Or it's just a forgery, which seems more likely.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

Oh man, this is insane. XD

Therefore my Maestro said Hitler was an initiate. Because Initiation is this and nothing else. To discover the key, the science that allows being possessed by "his" God. "To die that He might live." And it is quite possible that this God were we ourselves. The "Astral Body with a Face," the "Son of Man." Not an "I," but many, WE. Therefore Hitler was also a God. And if Jung did not realize it, I have.

Have you ever watched either The Spoony Experiment or Atop The Fourth Wall? Because dude, that sounds exactly like the Ultimate Warrior. It's pretty hilarious, and now I am going to be reading all the rest of the quotes in the voice of Linkara doing The Ultimate Warrior. XD

Also, Jesus. I'm pretty sure it's more than sixteen metres to the centre of the earth. In Minecraft it's more than sixteen metres to the centre of the earth.

What the hell was this guy smoking? O_o

Also I had never heard of the Vegan Black Metal Chef until now. That is the most awesomest and metal thing ever. XD

[sabotabby]

I havent. Something to check out?

Vegan Black Metal Chef makes me wonder why there is such a thing as TV networks anymore when someone could make that and everyone could watch it for free.

[sadwizardscrypt.livejournal.com]

This is the most amazing post ever.

[sabotabby]

OMG HAI!

And I'm glad you appreciate it. I'm taking metal recommendations for the next instalment.

[seanmonster.livejournal.com]

That's an awful lot of shit to be coming out of one bat...

I'm oddly happy that Mammoth Cave is on that map.

[sabotabby]

I'm way happier about mammoths surviving than I am about Hitler surviving. The aforementioned Jewish Bolshevik blood-robots will require mounts when they go up against the Nazi UFOs.

[agatharuncible.livejournal.com]

I... what? There are more drugs in this guy than in a whole season of Skins. Except LSD, obviously.

(I also don't understand Nazis who are weirdly obsessed with Indian spirituality of any type. Do they think that Indian people are white????)

[sabotabby]

I don't understand it. Maybe they hear "Aryan" and think something else?

The Soviets were weirdly obsessed with Tibetan Buddhist spirituality. Which, from what I understand about Tibetan Buddhist spirituality, is marginally more understandable.