The state of Toronto municipal politics in the age of Ford

[sabotabby]

I really really really wish there was a gravy spewing Marxist tax dragon so that I could vote for her.

P.S. That's the best campaign site. Better than the one I made. Not just in Toronto, but anywhere.

P.P.S. My ward, of course. It had to be my ward.

P.P.P.S. Of everything, "amateur dental hygienist" is making me laugh the most. Even more than "phrenologist."

ETA: Oh, it's Dimitri the Lover, professional sleazebag. It all makes sense now.

Comments

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Well, that is the campaign website that has made me laugh the loudest. I mean literally LOL. I mean in the traditional sense of literally and the traditional sense of LOL.

The most brutally honest person on the planet. Oh, my.

He Missed Out Compulsive Capitalizer Of All Words From His List Of Accomplishments.

[sabotabby]

He Has Some Other Skills Not Mentioned, Like Sexually Harassing My Friends.

It's kind of hilarious and also the worst thing ever.

[ironed_orchid]

It's the BEST Worst Thing Ever.

[rax.livejournal.com]

Wait this is actually real???? :O

[resonant.livejournal.com]

... apparently, he is serious.

[sabotabby]

He is serious. :(

[coconuthead.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's....I.....um....

[sabotabby]

Now that I know who it is, it all makes sense.

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

HAHA I had skipped the list of Skills & Attributes. OMG.

If you trained as a doctor, how about explaining why you're not practicing and don't have a credible alternate career, buddy?

-Former Online Restaurant Critic

"I posted a review on Yelp once"

Of course, he's Christ on the Cross.

[franklanguage.livejournal.com]

I know people who've gone to med school and for one reason or other haven't passed the boards to become a doctor.

Besides, he's a "Professional Shrew Tamer;" doesn't that mean anything to you?

[whatifoundthere.livejournal.com]

I know people who've gone to med school and for one reason or other haven't passed the boards to become a doctor.

Yeah, but that's not what happened to him.

[sabotabby]

*shudder*

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

I know, I have friends who did their law degree and didn't because lawyers. But this guy just sounded too bad, why would a fucker like this not pursue the big bucks career?

Turns out he was stripped of his licence!

[robby.livejournal.com]

The game targeting Marxist mary McMahon offers three playable characters — the choices are Rob Ford, Vladimir Putin and Adolf Hitler — who then strike the bare bottom of a cartoon woman with McMahon’s face, while “taxpayers” and Jesus Christ cheer on the violence.

[sabotabby]

That is worse than Truck Nutz.

[robby.livejournal.com]

If Dimitri would only tone down the Jesus talk, he would surely draw the Hindu extremist vote..

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

I was going to say we should get some sort of a mock-up as to what a gravy spewing marxist tax dragon would look like, but he helpfully did that for us.

[sabotabby]

Thank fuck for Photoshop right?

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

Idiocracy wasn't even half right.

[sabotabby]

On the plus side, I'm pretty sure he's infertile.

[symbioid.livejournal.com]

"-World's #1 Seduction Guru & Male Confidence Builder Since 2005"
"-Christian, Pro-Life & Family Values Advocate (Go Jesus!)"
"-Proudly Served on High School Typing Team (128 words per minute, #2 in city; I would have been #1 but I lost to broad on electric typewriter after inept typing teacher misinformed me that we had to use manual typewriters)"

GOLD JERRY!

[sabotabby]

The last one is almost funny. Almost.

[symbioid.livejournal.com]

He's almost like what I was attempting to do in my 2012 failed campaign, only more serious (as in - took time to actually make a website and not just a few joke comments here and there) and more right wing!

I'm not sure if having a clown like this in office would be fun or utterly horrible. I think I would vote against him just to be safe, but ... I mean... Is it a joke? It has to be, right? I mean... There's just too goddamned much here that's so amazingly awesomely bad.

[sabotabby]

He's genuinely serious. His entire career—he has a career—is based on this kind of shit.

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

who doesn't like gravy?

[sabotabby]

Well, I don't, unless it's mushroom gravy. But I support other people's right to like gravy.

[dagibbs.livejournal.com]

Wow... that so looks like parody. Wait, what does it mean when something real looks like parody?

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

FORD MORE YEARS!!

[ironed_orchid]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[sabotabby]

I think there's an internet rule about it but I'm too tired to remember.

[mimicucumber.livejournal.com]

I really thought the 'gravy' thing was an offhand use of 'gravy train' you picked up on for 'gravydammerung'. Now I realise it is a major political obsession.

[sabotabby]

Toronto does not understand the concept of gravy but hates it nevertheless.

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

Dimitri's very own Encyclopedia Dramatica entry!

[sabotabby]

Of course.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

This reminds me: Two things: first, apparently there's now an app that detects when you're reading about Ford, and when you are, it starts playing "clown music," which is awesome. And second, I just heard yesterday on the CBC that someone's working on Rob Ford: The Opera. Which now makes me sad I'll be too far away to drive over and see it, because Jesus, how hilarious would that be? XD I sincerely hope a copy ends up online; that sounds awesome.

[sabotabby]

I saw that app, did not know about the opera. Which I will of course have to see and review here.