Important York Tunnel update

[sabotabby]

Mystery solved!

Police have located the two men who built the tunnel near York U and determined that:

a) They are not terrorists. (Read: white guys.)
b) They pose no danger to anyone.
c) They did it for "personal reasons."

Yes, that was what the official police statement actually said. "It's all good, no charges will be laid, they did it for personal reasons."

In not-entirely-unrelated news, I can only assume that this is our police department's new logo:



Seriously. Our local police make official statements that combine the words "mysterious tunnel" and "personal reasons" and they expect to get paid $100,000+ a year and no one has a problem with this.

Other sources have reported that the two men built it as a "man-cave," though since they were not identified in any media, I can't rule out the possibility that what they were building was actually a Bat Cave.

In fact, I think it was probably a Bat Cave.

That, or they were scabs trying to cross the picket lines (good luck, 3903 friends!).

But it was probably Batman.

ETA: The National Post, of all places, has more speculation and a diagram. The video is worth watching.

Comments

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

I'm confused. what did the tunnel connect to? a house? I got the impression it was in the middle of the city on someone else's property.

[sabotabby]

It doesn't connect to anything. It's just a tunnel. Or, well, an ex-tunnel now that they've filled it in.

York is off in the middle of nowhere. If I understand correctly, it was on private property but not inhabited property.

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

It's actually in a conservation area that's public land.

[sabotabby]

Huh. You'd think that would be illegal. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad they're not charging the guys, but I'm surprised they're not charging the guys.

[jackspryte.livejournal.com]

They were building their own subway tunnel to York because needed.

[sabotabby]

Not the subway York deserves, but the subway York needs.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Police made clear last week there is nothing criminal about digging a tunnel in the woods. But that doesn't mean the force is encouraging tunnel-digging wily nilly.

"There was no and is no threat to public safety. But we're not saying go ahead and dig a hole,"

Oh dear me, that's funny.

Clearly a Bat Cave.

If the Dark Night is relocating from Gotham to Hogtown, what are the implications for a) Crime and b) Civil Liberties? Should Torontians be worried? Should Rob Ford and his nefarious cronies be worried? Is this part of John Tory's grand plan for Toronto?

[sabotabby]

I'm pretty sure John Tory, in his efforts to save costs by outsourcing fucking everything to the private sector, has outsourced crime prevention to Batman.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

So will you be applying for the vacant position of Catwoman?

[sabotabby]

Not if I have to kiss John Tory.

[elsewhereangel.livejournal.com]

Mebbe is ahhht?

http://www.vice.com/read/an-amsterdam-artist-is-digging-tunnels-in-the-ground-to-escape-the-modern-world

[sabotabby]

Why doesn't it surprise me that a graphic designer would dig a hole to escape from the world?

[kerrypolka.livejournal.com]

Sex den?

[sabotabby]

If it's a sex den, it's clearly a sex den for superheroes.

[kingtycoon.livejournal.com]

I heard it was for LARPing. I love the ambitions of LARPers.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

LARPing or Airsoft. My oney's on the latter, seeing as we ourselves dug a tunnel on our property back in BC for Airsoft games. When the snow melts, if there's a bunch of 6 mm plastic bb's everywhere, we'll know I'm right. I think that also kind of explains the poppy; Airsofters have a pretty high regard for the military.

[sabotabby]

A bunch of my kids do Airsoft.

[sabotabby]

I wish LARPers could get their act together to make a tunnel.

[chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised it was a story at all. "Hole in ground; more news at 10". It reminds me of possibly the weakest joke ever. A journalist is sent to the Island of Sark to investigate why the locals are amused by a hole in the ground. He finds many people (many by Sark standards) bellowing with laughter at what appears to be a perfectly ordinary hole. He doesn't get it but a good journo always gets the story so he files copy under the headline "Sark chasm is the lowest form of wit".

[sabotabby]

*groan*

Of course it's a story. Everyone's bored and depressed.

[fengi.livejournal.com]

It wasn't Batman, and we should blame that secretive bastard Reed Richards for deciding the public can't handle the truth.

[sabotabby]

Hahaha yes that is exactly something he would do.

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

And if said men had been darker than Tony Orlando...

[sabotabby]

The second the police said not to panic, I knew the guys were white.