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Volunteer Snark
Feb. 13th, 2016 03:58 pmImagine you've fled unthinkable horror in your homeland to journey over 9000 km to a country where you don't speak the language. You have nothing but what you've managed to carry with you. Maybe you're living in a hotel, maybe some stranger's basement. You are desperately trying to get your life back together.
After all that, would you want to be reading Twilight?
(Fun fact: Twilight is the most frequently donated book.)
If you don't want used binders and notebooks that your kid has scribbled on with half the pages missing, why would a Syrian refugee?
Same with rusty kitchen stuff.
No one wants your dictionaries. Paper dictionaries are obsolete. That goes for people who donate to my Little Free Library too, by the way.
If you donate dirty kitchenware and appliances and don't wash them, I amsilently judging you out loud to the other volunteers. Have some self-respect.
How about that trend for making French onion soup in French onion soup bowls? It was kind of weird, wasn't it? I see we all regret that phase of our lives. I'm craving French onion soup, though.
Unlike the refugees, you allegedly speak English. Why not read what we do and do not accept, and thus save a volunteer (i.e., me) a trip to Value Village in -30°C weather to drop off clothes we can't accept?
If at any point in this blanket's history your baby has puked on it, I guarantee that I will be able to smell it. I don't care how much you washed it. I don't care if no one else can smell it because they all have kids and are used to it. I still smell it and it will haunt my nightmares.
How can one man amass so many kitchen tongs? And yet it all came from the same guy. Are kitchen tong horders a thing?
People who donate pillows still in their packaging: You are my fucking heroes and I hope you get all the Valentine's Day orgasms you want.
People who donate anything still in its packaging, especially if there is a picture of the thing on the packaging: We love you and I hope you are showered with unicorns and puppies and love.
Whoever brought the red velvet and white chocolate cookies: I could fucking kiss you.
People who raid hotel rooms and donate the little bottles of shampoo: What is wrong with you? Reconsider your life choices.
Companies who give out water bottles with their logos on it: You know where those things end up, right?
The moral of the story: Don't donate trash. You know what happens when you donate your trash to charity? Some volunteer has to throw it out or donate it to another, less discerning charity. And they'll probably throw it out. They might even need to pay for junk removal. So you are hurting the cause, not helping. You know the difference between useful things and garbage, so why not donate useful things and throw the garbage out yourself?
After all that, would you want to be reading Twilight?
(Fun fact: Twilight is the most frequently donated book.)
If you don't want used binders and notebooks that your kid has scribbled on with half the pages missing, why would a Syrian refugee?
Same with rusty kitchen stuff.
No one wants your dictionaries. Paper dictionaries are obsolete. That goes for people who donate to my Little Free Library too, by the way.
If you donate dirty kitchenware and appliances and don't wash them, I am
How about that trend for making French onion soup in French onion soup bowls? It was kind of weird, wasn't it? I see we all regret that phase of our lives. I'm craving French onion soup, though.
Unlike the refugees, you allegedly speak English. Why not read what we do and do not accept, and thus save a volunteer (i.e., me) a trip to Value Village in -30°C weather to drop off clothes we can't accept?
If at any point in this blanket's history your baby has puked on it, I guarantee that I will be able to smell it. I don't care how much you washed it. I don't care if no one else can smell it because they all have kids and are used to it. I still smell it and it will haunt my nightmares.
How can one man amass so many kitchen tongs? And yet it all came from the same guy. Are kitchen tong horders a thing?
People who donate pillows still in their packaging: You are my fucking heroes and I hope you get all the Valentine's Day orgasms you want.
People who donate anything still in its packaging, especially if there is a picture of the thing on the packaging: We love you and I hope you are showered with unicorns and puppies and love.
Whoever brought the red velvet and white chocolate cookies: I could fucking kiss you.
People who raid hotel rooms and donate the little bottles of shampoo: What is wrong with you? Reconsider your life choices.
Companies who give out water bottles with their logos on it: You know where those things end up, right?
The moral of the story: Don't donate trash. You know what happens when you donate your trash to charity? Some volunteer has to throw it out or donate it to another, less discerning charity. And they'll probably throw it out. They might even need to pay for junk removal. So you are hurting the cause, not helping. You know the difference between useful things and garbage, so why not donate useful things and throw the garbage out yourself?
