How would Jesus vote?

[sabotabby]

This is now a subject for debate among some of my friends.

So Jesus was born in Bethlehem, yes? Pre-1948. This makes him Palestinian. A Palestinian Jew, but still. Assuming he was alive today and eligible to vote in the elections, how would he cast his ballot?

We have one vote for PFLP (because Jesus was a Marxist, yo!), two for boycotting the elections (one for religious reasons, one for political reasons), and none for Hamas.

Discuss!

Comments

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

Jesus would call the Vatican and get Zouaves sent over to clean up the place of both Jews and Muslims.

So now the question at hand is, would the Israëli leadership in exile nuke the Vatican in return?

[burkesworks.livejournal.com]

Ah, but he could have claimed Israeli citizenship, and he certainly wouldn't have been a Marxist.
At first I'd have thought he'd have backed Meretz, though somehow I've a feeling he'd have been at odds with their policy by which they want to draft yeshiva boys into the Israeli Army. Therefore I believe he'd have voted for Am Ehad, being the party that claims to back such as the pensioners and the lowest-paid workers. Blessed are the meek and all that. I rather like the idea of him voting Ale Yarok, but that really depends upon what he was ingesting while spending forty days in the desert, and upon how well he knew Mary Magdalene.

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Very good!

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Ah, but he could have claimed Israeli citizenship

True dat. Maybe that's what God was thinking when he sent out the angel posse "Make sure it's a Jewish girl, I'm not having my kid fail no orthodoxy test, yo."
And the angels were like "...but isn't he a heretic in Thy Ineffable Plan?"
And then God scowled at them and threw lightening, amen.

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

He would've said: "Damn, all of these guys are either corrupt or just fucked in the head." and voted NOTA.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

So Jesus was born in Bethlehem, yes? Pre-1948.

hahaha

following apperception's lead

[rote.livejournal.com]

So Jesus was born in Bethlehem, yes? Pre-1948.

http://www.nobeliefs.com/exist.htm

Re: following apperception's lead

[sabotabby]

That link don't work. :(

But hey -- if I can do a post analyzing Leopold Bloom's politics vis a vis the occupation, I can do the same for Jebus.

Re: following apperception's lead

[rote.livejournal.com]

It does work!

Re: following apperception's lead

[sabotabby]

Okay, now it does.

[gn0s1s.livejournal.com]

He'd write in Leonard Peltier.

[sabotabby]

You win.

[dobrovolets.livejournal.com]

"Render unto Caesar...": perhaps he would be a collaborator. Or have a high post in the PA.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

I see that "Render unto Caeser..." and claim it as an abstention. As a heretical lay rabbi (do you even get lay rabbis? I dunno, but you know what I mean anyway) and a bit of a commie, I reckon he'd either drop out of the system or vote for someone secular and leftie.


Mind, he'd probably have served some time in prison as a Refusnik anyway...

[sabotabby]

That was my argument (that he'd abstain based on "Render unto Caesar..." to the letter.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

"Render unto Caesar" is a classic evasive, or rather, bouncing-back-the-question sort of answer. The first half certainly implies that paying tax to Caesar does not constitute worshipping him. But the second half, "Render unto God the things that are God's", begs the question, as all things belong to God, certainly as far as Jesus's theology went, or is likely to have been as far as we can know about it. So that includes tax money, and it includes votes. So every such choice involves consideration of how God is to be honoured by those earthly things that are put at are disposal. I think a pietistic reading, that money and politics and all that sort of thing are beneath the consideration of the spiritual person is seriously lacking.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

If he even said it. :P But then he was pretty anti-establishment anyway, so I can't see him backing the religious parties either. Bloody Pharisees.

Mind, this is a guy who hung with whores and lepers, pissed off the priesthood and got exectued as an enemy of the state by an occupying force, so maybe he'd be running for election himself.

[accusehistory.livejournal.com]

He'd totally be into the Liberation Theology thing: http://www.sabeel.org

[sabotabby]

Well, yes. But they don't run in elections, bless their hearts.

[accusehistory.livejournal.com]

haha okay true, but I don't think he would have voted. He would have called for a show of unity regardless of the winner of the election.

[ridemycamel.livejournal.com]

I think Jesus would have left after 1948; his ass would be smoking a J somewhere in North America, therefore no vote.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Or he'd be living in sin with Mary M, teaching Aramaic in the West Back. That damn hippy.

[mcsokrates.livejournal.com]

What about the Palestinian People's Party? I would imagine, if Jesus was voting for a leftist party, it would probably be the one that wasn't killing people. Goes against his aesthetic, ya know?

[mcsokrates.livejournal.com]

Or he would have written in Ice Cube.

Think about it, Jesus was gangsta as fuck. When someone disrspected his daddy, he rolled 12 deep in that motherfucker and started throwing over tables. That's gangsta.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

And most of his heroes don't appear on no stamps.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Is Mustafa Barghouti's PNI standing? In which case maybe he'd give them the shout. Active non-violent resistance n'all.

[will63.livejournal.com]

A moderate who would know everything regarding both sides to every issue, he would vote similarly to a rule-utilitarian, voting for the general interest, or for whatever brings the most benefit to the most people worldwide ... but a peacekeeper for certain.

He certainly would not vote for any fundamentalist (my will be done, not God's, so I'll claim God's will is mine).