2022 Media Roundup: Music

[sabotabby]

 Music has been a tough one this year because I'm still dealing in many ways with emotional fallout from nearly three years of no live music. I kind of fell into a hole where music was a source of the Big Sad for me. This is because I hit a point last year, after it became clear that we would be in the pandemic for the rest of my life, where I thought that I would never get to go to a live show or travel ever again. And because music to me is so entwined with the joy of going to live shows, listening to music just became a source of grief and loss, and I didn't bond with anything that was either new or new-to-me this year.

It's entirely possible that I will never get to travel again, but I did start going to live shows again. Masked, of course, and the main reason why I bought an elastomeric mask is for this purpose. I don't drink or eat the Fae food. It's a compromise that I strike with my own mortality.

So this post will be about some of the shows I've seen, not about new music that I discovered.

I went to some very big nostalgia-oriented shows: Rage Against the Machine, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys and New Order, and Elvis Costello. With the exception of Rage, who I saw in the 90s as a teenager, these were all bucket list bands for me. While I was pretty far from the stage in all cases, there's something about the energy of a crowd all singing along to songs that you've loved longer than some adults have been alive.

Then, of course, I saw some medium and smaller shows, which of course is my preferred means of seeing anyone live. Peter Hook resumed his annual pilgrimage to Toronto—nature is healing, etc. Zeal & Ardor, who get better and better every time I see them. Orville Peck, who finally got to play in a venue where you can hear him properly. Dead South, who I always enjoy. Tanya Tagaq playing with the Kronos Quartet—her first time stepping on to the stage in three years. And of course, Grace Petrie, in the Dakota Tavern at a very last minute show with about 30 people at it, which I think was only her second time playing in Canada ever.

I also went to other musical things: A performance of Carmen at the Canadian Opera Company, and two ballets, Swan Lake and MaddAddam at the National Ballet.

Of those, I would say Grace Petrie was the most exciting. Her album "Connectivity" really got me through 2021, and I got to tell her that to her face, which was even cooler. 

I am absurdly grateful for each and every one of these artists and shows, and at each time felt an acute melancholic awareness that this might be my last show, or my last chance to see this artist. I certainly didn't realize that when I saw Loreena McKennitt play in 2019 that it would be my last concert for two and a half years! So it's an experience that, while always physically uncomfortable and scary for me, is worth it. 

Anyway, next year I'm hoping I can get into some new music and really bond with it but in the meantime I will be extremely happy that I get to do this again at all.

ETA, several days later. Dear Readers I have been REMISS in failing to note the one song that was my 2022 anthem. And that is Grant MacDonald's 2012 anthem "Ram Ranch." I would not advise clicking that link if you are at work, unless your work for whatever reason involves removal of a large number of fascists from your city. 

Comments

[dissectionist]

I hear you. You know I’m also one of the cautious folks, and I think many of us are at the point where we’ve realized that if we don’t have anything that makes our souls sing, then maybe we get to stay alive but we’re just surviving, like lizards skittering from a meal to our hide, and nothing else beyond that. There’s no joy, no _living_. So we mitigate the risks as best we can and give ourselves those little moments that remind us why we keep going.

[sabotabby]

I think you're even more cautious than me!

But yes, the balance between surviving and living is one I've been struggling with really a lot lately. It really feels like tempting fate and every time I go out, I wonder if it's worth it. Etc.

[dissectionist]

It’s so tricky. On one hand there’s that voice in my head saying, “Is this worth dying for? Becoming even more permanently disabled for? Wrecking your immune system for?” And of course when you think of it like that, the answer is always going to be “no”.

But the reality is that risks exist for other things I do, like driving in cars. Current estimate is that the risk of Long Covid is about double that of permanent disability from a car accident, but I spend a lot more than double the time riding in a car (as I do in Covid-risky activities).

If I’m going to let Covid fear stop me from going to a concert a few times a year (or what-have-you), then I should also not be getting in my car multiple times a week to take the kids for a leisure drive or to go to my horse lesson.

But I’m not going to do that; I’m going to continue driving. So with that being the case, then I need to accept a little risk for Covid too without making a life-or-death determination on it.

What I’m struggling with right now is that Frolic really wants to go see the new Avatar movie in IMAX 3D. For literally years and years, long before Covid, he’d been looking forward to when A2 would come out and he could take the kids to go see it. (I acknowledge the white-saviorist complaints about Avatar’s plotline, but it truly was a beautiful movie in IMAX 3D. I expect A2 will be even more so.) He’s proposed that we sit in the very back row, and buy the seats in front and beside us so that nobody is closer than a few feet from us. And of course we’d all have our P100 masks and not eat/drink during the movie.

I don’t want to do this; I know that as beautiful as it will be, it’s still just a movie, and a _long_ exposure time (3 hours). Movies used to be a regular part of our life, but we haven’t done a movie since before the pandemic started, and there’s a lot of movies I would have loved to see in the theater but gave up because it wasn’t worth it.

But it’s going to mean so much to Frolic, and the kids will be so excited. So I know I need to swallow my stress about it and just do this thing, and then hope desperately that our gamble doesn’t come up snake-eyes.

[sabotabby]

For me it's all about control, which is like. An absurdity, really. Who has control over matters of life and death?

But concerts, I can control wearing a mask and not even taking a sip of water. Movies, same thing, though I have only gone to two movies in theatre since this whole bullshit started, and both times it wasn't to any theatre with a big crowd. Restaurants and bars I can't control because I'd have to take my mask off to eat and drink. I got together with a friend of mine last night and had dinner and drinks unmasked at my place, because I've known him for 15 years or so and we both tested first, but I am meeting with someone to talk about work/creative endeavours and I don't know him well (though he seems very covid cautious), so I am trying to figure out where heated patios might be.

I guess I don't think much about the risk of driving because I don't drive myself, but to me that falls into a "thing that is less risky because I at least have control over how well I drive/who I get into a car with."

It's all absolutely an illusion but that's how my brain works.

[dissectionist]

Yep. On our two big holidays (Friend Day in October and Xmas) we have a single friend over to join us. We all test and then go maskless, and I just have to hope that all will be well. She works retail so can’t live a low-risk lifestyle, but I did get her a Breathe mask for Xmas (which I gave to her at the beginning of December) and I know if she wasn’t with us, she’d be alone with a lot of grief (it’s been a hard few years for her). So it’s worth it to me to accept that risk twice a year.

And yeah, it’s all about that illusion. My life is like, “If I research enough to know all the risks and then mitigate or remove all risks, I can keep myself and my family safe forever!” Even though I know deep-down that that’s not how that works.

I don’t have as much of an illusion about control while driving because the last two collisions I’ve been in have been thoroughly other people’s fault (got T-boned when someone ran a long-red light, and then got rear-ended in traffic). So as cautious a driver as I am (and I am _cautious_ due to learning to drive in my early 30s and doing about 70 in-car practice hours with my driving instructor), I know that means little when everyone else out there on the road is looking at their phones rather than the road.

[lokifan]

Ah, Grace :) I love her so much. Sadly missed out on seeing two of her gigs this year because of other commitments, but I did see her once! Benefit of being in London.

D'you have any favourite songs of hers? For me it's probably Storm to Weather, Losing Side, Ikea, and No Woman Ever Wants To Be A Muse off that album. She's just getting better and better imo.

I'm really glad you were able to go to some gigs again!

[sabotabby]

I'm convinced she's never written a song that isn't an absolute banger, but "Losing Side" is my #1. "Some Days Are Worse Than Others" is a close second. "Black Tie," of course, and "Coldwaterproofjacket" and "Iago" and "Nobody Knows That I'm a Fraud." And "Haul Away." Um basically apparently everything she writes is like, laser-targeted to my tastes.

[numb3r_5ev3n]

I'm glad you're getting to go to shows again! I'm trying to find my way out of a Big Sad myself. I'm working on it.

[sabotabby]

I think in a lot of ways the Big Sad is a permanent state for me, which finds different modes of expression. Good luck with yours.

[greylock]

Rage Against the Machine, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys and New Order, and Elvis Costello.

As much as I enjoy all but two of the bands on this list (and I'll tolerate one and song for nostalgia), I think only Elvis Costello would be the one to actually get me in the door... especially if he was doing a nostalgia-heavy show.
I saw David Byrne a few years (decades) back, and it was great. I was surprised, given he was on the same bill as Blonde and The Doors (with Ian Astbury), he was my best memory of the event.

Grace Petrie, in the Dakota Tavern at a very last minute show with about 30 people at it, which I think was only her second time playing in Canada ever.

So, she's not just a YouTuber? That's great!

You saw more acts this year than I have in five years.
You go girl!

[sabotabby]

Elvis was great! Very charming and captivating.

Grace does all kinds of shows in the UK, or at least did before everything went to hell. She's absolutely fantastic live. Hopefully she can get back to more of it, safely, though I fear for any touring musician.