Look, I'm not saying that people shouldn't talk about their votes. I'm saying that asking them is putting them on the spot, and creating a situation in which they may either have to defend themselves or refuse to answer the question. It's like asking them "Are you a virgin?" or "Do you believe in the God of Abraham?"
In my example with my father, I'm not sure where this "culturally imbalance power stick comes from"—do you perceive an imbalance because my dad's male, older, or simply because he told me what to do before I was old enough to organize my own life? I think if you asked my dad, he'd be the first to claim (with some chagrin and a certain amount of pride) that he can't do a thing with me now. He wins arguments because he's impolite, not because he exerts any authority—economic, social, or moral—over me.
Regardless of power dynamics, creating a situation in which your respondent's only options are to demur, lie, or face even the possibility of attack is impolite. Not morally wrong, necessarily, but impolite. Sure, people should stand by their votes. But compelling them, even in a mild social way, to defend their views and not leaving them a graceful social exit, is uncharitable, and essentially forcing them to conform to your social views, rather than presenting them with an opportunity to engage in discussion with you.
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Date: 2006-01-23 10:17 pm (UTC)Look, I'm not saying that people shouldn't talk about their votes. I'm saying that asking them is putting them on the spot, and creating a situation in which they may either have to defend themselves or refuse to answer the question. It's like asking them "Are you a virgin?" or "Do you believe in the God of Abraham?"
In my example with my father, I'm not sure where this "culturally imbalance power stick comes from"—do you perceive an imbalance because my dad's male, older, or simply because he told me what to do before I was old enough to organize my own life? I think if you asked my dad, he'd be the first to claim (with some chagrin and a certain amount of pride) that he can't do a thing with me now. He wins arguments because he's impolite, not because he exerts any authority—economic, social, or moral—over me.
Regardless of power dynamics, creating a situation in which your respondent's only options are to demur, lie, or face even the possibility of attack is impolite. Not morally wrong, necessarily, but impolite. Sure, people should stand by their votes. But compelling them, even in a mild social way, to defend their views and not leaving them a graceful social exit, is uncharitable, and essentially forcing them to conform to your social views, rather than presenting them with an opportunity to engage in discussion with you.