When libertarians date

[sabotabby]

Oh, it really is my day. The Pandagon/PunkAss folks have uncovered the trainwreck to end all trainwrecks. Dear readers, meet Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey. She's better than 86.3456546% of you!

She's airbrushed hot!

I’m attractive (my new picture has been rated more attractive than 86% of the women on Hot or Not -- and the women who upload their pictures are a self-selected sample that is probably already biased towards being more attractive than the general female population)

She's brainy (even though she can't seem to fix the HTML on her blog)!

I’m intelligent (IQ tested at 145 when I was a child, which is 3 standard deviations above the mean -- higher than 99.85% of the population. Even if I’ve gotten dumber as I’ve aged I’m probably still at least a 130, which is higher than 97.5% of the population.)

She clearly still lives with her parents!

I have my financial shit together (no debt, perfect credit history, 6+ months living expenses saved, adequate insurance, self employed)

And she's horny!

I have a strong libido and love having sex (my lover *never* has to beg, unless it’s for me to let him get some sleep!)

But she still doesn't want to date you. She complains:

I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I'm also really sick of getting e-mailed several times a week by delusionally hopeful men who read my blog and think because I am *their* dream girl that I'll therefore want them too.  Too often they act crushed when I reject them, which I feel bad about, but if they had stopped to consider whether they had as much to offer me as I have to offer them then they might have had more realistic expectations. 

Since becoming single again the amount of time I've had to spend on hopeful fanboy/stalker management has been steadily increasing.  It's uncomfortable, a little creepy, somewhat overwhelming, and I want it to stop.  I'm hoping this post will serve as a reality check for the guys involved (as well as any who were thinking about joining their ranks) because I don't want to have to stop being friends or friendly with the single geeky guys I meet via this blog.

Here's my advice: Stop mentioning that you're single, dear. Take your photo down, or if you must camwhore, choose a picture of yourself that does not show part of your boob. I am squarely average in terms of looks, and even I get hit on when I post pictures of myself. Or when I don't. Or when I go out in public. I dig the attention (I am a third-wave sex-positive feminist, after all) as long as the boys and girls aren't sleazy about it, and I'm guessing that she does too, as she doth protest way too much about it.

What's even grosser, though, is her advice to men who aren't "of quality":

Lower your standards and stop pursuing women who are out of your league. There are lots of fat single mothers out there who can’t find dates either.

Look in the developing world. If you’re literate with a home computer and an internet connection you are very wealthy compared to the rest of the world. Citizenship or legal permanent residency in a rich country makes you more attractive to women in poorer countries. Your value on the dating market is thus much higher there.

Oddly enough, I do know fat single mothers who get dates. Why? Because they aren't assholes, and because there are decent men out there who like larger women and who are good with kids. But I doubt they want to date libertarians.

Other than the humour factor, this is just fascinating on a personal-is-political level. Libertarians have problems getting dates because their entire ideology does not lend itself to functional relationships. One can't view another person as an object, a means to an end, a commodity to be traded on a free market, and not experience some sort of emotional fallout. Libertarian men want an airbrushed Playboy centerfold who's just smart enough to echo their talking points and who will lie naked across their desks over a skyline of high-rise office buildings. Libertarian women want John Galt. The problem is that most libertarians tend to be acne-ridden overgrown teenagers living in their parents' basements and playing video games (not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's hardly the Randroid ideal) so they are completely incapable of meeting their own inhuman standards.

This has been a total cheap shot, but can you blame me?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think of the phony quote on the back of "America: the Book", attributed to Ayn Rand: "This book is similar to my work in that anyone who reads it is guaranteed to be an asshole for at least a couple of weeks."

I paraphrase.

[human-loser.livejournal.com]

I also neglect to sign in.

I lulled.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

The last paragraph is solid gold, particularly, "Libertarian men want an airbrushed Playboy centerfold who's just smart enough to echo their talking points and who will lie naked across their desks over a skyline of high-rise office buildings."

Re: I lulled.

[sabotabby]

http://www.cordair.com/sparks/fringebenefits.php

[caprinus.livejournal.com]

AWESOME!

(I read Rand in grade 12 to write an essay from some dubious Objectivist college scholarship contest. I'd never heard of her before, being fairly fresh off the boat (no one in Europe cares), so I started reading as a blank slate with no baggage or prejudice... Let's just say that after a month, I didn't end up writing any essays but I poured hydrochloric acid on a library copy of The Fountainhead, my only act of vandalism EVAR. *ahem*)

[sabotabby]

Awesome. I once threw a copy of Atlas Shrugged down the stairs. My bio-father had the misguided notion that I might like it.

I have a general disdain for the destruction of books, but I'll make an exception for Rand.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

She doesn't sound like a Libertarian, she sounds like Ann Coulter's Mini-me.

And please tell me your icon moves. Either that, or my medication is doing new and wacky things to me.

[sabotabby]

Oh, it moves.

She is 34.3456% heavier than Coulter, so less likely to get a date with men who care about such things.

[dobrovolets.livejournal.com]

That photo on her blog makes her look like John Galt on HRT. What a commanding square jaw!

[sabotabby]

Femininity is for the weak.

the subtext - always this subtext, never not this subtext

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

"Uppity cooze seeks John Galt to teach her a thing or two."

She's a sub.

Re: the subtext - always this subtext, never not this subtext

[sabotabby]

It's funny 'cause it's true.

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

It's hard not to take cheap shots at a total mark like that! What a total asshole!

"self-employed" is another word many people use for "unemployed". Either way, I'm sure she's rife with economic prejudice!

She should know that, no matter how you look, how thin you are, or how young you are, there are many men out there that just can't stomach a shallow, judegmental harpy, who gets all of her ideas about what a worthwhile mate is from television advertising!

I'm really tempted to give her a blast!

Remember this post?

http://jvmatucha.livejournal.com/110936.html

[sabotabby]

If you comment, link me to it! And that dating story still makes me cringe-but-also-giggle-a-bit.

Her again!!

[threepunchstuff.livejournal.com]

Hoo boy. I can't find it, but substitute had a hilarious and delicious episode involving her last year. She had posted something very similar to this, a "Seeking sex/travel partner for Costa Rica trip" personal that led to her last relationship, with an equally obnoxious libertarian pro-gambler. Man, I wish I could find that post and Ms. MPPPP Passey's "anonymous" replies to it.

Re: Her again!!

[sabotabby]

Oh, I saw the Costa Rica post. You know, if I had enough money to go to Costa Rica, I really wouldn't care about finding a boy toy to go with me. I might be a bit more concerned about finding a translator...

If you find it, I wanna read.

[freshwater-pr0n.livejournal.com]

God bless the Libertarians for bringing the lulz.

[sabotabby]

I'm convinced they were put on the earth just for that purpose. Unfortunately, they also have a tremendous political influence somehow—or maybe that's just coincidence.

[ltmurnau.livejournal.com]

Not a cheap shot at all - gold standard, in fact!

[sabotabby]

My mocking is QUALITY.

this is prime.

[joyful-grrrl.livejournal.com]

aaaand from her profile, on her ex-husband, who is now Teh Gay: We were both on the hunt for a spouse, discovered that we had a ton in common, and after a speedy courtship we married in January 2001, five weeks after our first date.

Re: this is prime.

[sabotabby]

This is what you get for "seeking a mate." Also, bwahahaha.

[lemur-man.livejournal.com]

She's never going to find anyone who's as interesting to her as she is to herself, I'm afraid.

[sabotabby]

She can date belt0033, but I don't know if he's rich enough.

Three Words

[locustinferno.livejournal.com]

Delusions of grandeur.

Re: Three Words

[sabotabby]

Just plain delusions. "I'm going to make a ton of money on online gambling!" Um, no.

[smhwpf.livejournal.com]

Hee. A hit! A very palpable hit!

But... when I read Heinlein, all the Libertarians were brilliant, witty and hot.

[sabotabby]

Same with Rand. We should sue them for false advertising. It's the capitalist way.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

Remember when you posted that link to Sean Hannity's Hannidate and I promptly located that personal on it asking why it was so hard for a strong woman to find a conservative man? Comedy gold. Maybe, this Libertarian chick should check there. I was just there and the featured profile specifically identified himself as "rich," although I doubt that he'd fare well in a "Hot or Not" shooting gallery. I wish I could find him again.

[sabotabby]

I think several commenters on her blog noted that for men in her political/social circles, a degree is probably not a desirably quality in a woman.

These guys really play up the "all guys care about is looks, all women care about is money" cliché, don't they?

Off Topic

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

This explains everything.

hahaha

[sabotabby]

That's exactly what happened.

[one-serious-cat.livejournal.com]

I have trouble believing that anyone who includes human biodiversity on her livejournal interests list is a very amusing bedmate; at least, not intentionally so.

[sabotabby]

Human biodiversity?

That can't mean what I think it means.

randroid

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

Every time I see this name, I die a little. I was unaware of it when I chose my handle, which I like very much, although now that I am less interested in cognitive science, I should maybe look into something a bit different. But I like the way it rolls off the tongue.

Re: randroid

[sabotabby]

No, please don't change your name! That'd be like Shift magazine changing their name because it looks a little like Shit.

Well, it is a little like shit. Is it even still around? But I digress.

[ex-melimeli728.livejournal.com]

lol!

i wuv you.

and here is something i learned a long time ago: people want to believe that love comes from x y z thing. people look around-- sorry, -I-, I looked around, and so I thought- aha, people are liked if they are X, people are liked if they are Y, there is a formula and it is X Y Z.
I was wrong. It's hard to live in America and remember this, but it's -not true-. People like each other because of the light they have in them. I felt so silly when I started to realize it, and when I tried to remember! But if one looks inside, one knows. When I think of people I have fallen hopelessly in love with, or who attracts me as a friend--- it's not because of all those things, those things are humorously off point. It's this light people have.

When I was coming back to the US a few weeks ago, the flight had these two movies. I wanted to die. I remembered all of it, everything that is America (and other places), and how it wasn't all just hype. These movies, "In Her Shoes" and "Elizabethtown". What these things teach us, about what has value in a woman! This horrible horrible junk!

I try to remember this on trains and in times of self-doubt. That what pulls me to others is their light... and the same for those who love me in turn.

[sabotabby]

It's understandable to want formulas. I'm thinking of some of the odder September 11th conspiracy theories involving numbers; if you can determine the sequence for the first event, you can predict when the second will be.

Someone who is this desperate clearly wants to reduce attraction and love to a mathematical formula. It's so much greater and more terrible and more complicated and beautiful than that.

[lopukhov.livejournal.com]

And I get hit on when I camwh0r, even when I'm in my sadistic Indonesian army ak-47 outfit, or when I'm in my sad clown outfit.

She left 'Terrence' 2 days after she told him, "Good luck, honey!" Probably because he lost.

Having men's interests clearly makes her a high-quality woman, even if her smile is vicious and insincere, like a serpent's.

[sabotabby]

Sorry, your sadistic Indonesian army AK-47 outfit is teh hawt. You know it's true.

I was feeling bad for Terrence—who is actually pretty cute—until I read her blog from when she was dating him. All of the entries were about his poker scores. That's just not a functional relationship.

[lopukhov.livejournal.com]

Holy shit, she's hitting Bali next, and making fun of the stupid natives and taking advantage of the 1998 economic meltdown.

[sabotabby]

Haha, superstitious natives who are grateful for the gift of an American dollar, even if they don't know what to do with it! Awesome.

[ridemycamel.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

that final paragraph is the win!

[sabotabby]

I'm going to take a cue from Jacqueline and raise the market value of my cheap shots.