Open thread: Two questions

[sabotabby]

1. Does wasabi mustard go with pear-and-brie sandwiches?

2. How did you first learn about sex?

Your answers may or may not be used in an installation art piece.

Comments

[chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com]

1. Wasabi goes with anything, except sex. It makes very good vodka Martinis.

2. I don't remember but I do know that sex is the one thing that doesn't go with wasabi.

[ironed_orchid]

1. No.

2. My parents bought me books with tasteful watercolours when I was 5 or 6.

[lemur-man.livejournal.com]

1. If you remove the Brie, yes.
2. I don't remember, but I do remember being interested pretty early.

[goodlookinout.livejournal.com]

2. My friend told me when we were about 6 or 7. She also told me she wanted to be a gynecologist.

I've heard through friends of friends she's now become a midwife! :)

[zazuomgwtf.livejournal.com]

1. no
2. god if I remember

[apperception.livejournal.com]

(1) I don't think so, but if you find out one way or the other, I'd like to know.

Actually, I don't think I've ever had a pear and brie sandwich. That sounds like an excellent idea.

(2) Oh, well, I think I learned about sex around the same time I learned I couldn't burn down the school by using static electricity together with the book about atoms. It was like one door opened while the other closed, if you catch my drift.

I think I was nine years old at the time. I had a friend named Adele who was a bit of a tom boy and a riping young pervert. She told me that the thing between a woman's legs was actually a hole, but you couldn't see it unless you got down there.

Now, this was a bit of a revelation to me. I had always thought it was just a triangle of hair. I had no idea it had any further significance than that. I remember when I was seven, my next door neighbor, who was my age, would steal his father's porno mags. He'd cut out the vaginas with a pair of scissors and take the cut-outs and bury them in the soil. (I'm pretty sure he's in jail now.) But I had no idea what the real deal was.

Anyway, Adele walked in on her mom and stepfather Having Relations, during which time she discovered that the male Penis actually goes inside the hole.

This news troubled me. Why would God create a world in which something that bizarre took place? It troubled my faith in the Mystery Of The Cross.

All that soon passed when I reached the age of eleven. The combination of hormones and the sordid education I received by means of my friend's father's porno mags all but obviated that conflict.

As an aside, in high school health class, our sex ed teacher told us that the female orgasm was a myth.

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

Was the sex-ed teacher male or female?

[mistersmearcase.livejournal.com]

1. brie + wasabi tastes wrong on the palate in my head.
2. there was this book. i'd be awfully curious to see it now and see what weird ideas it may have given me. i think i saw it lying around and asked my parents about it and it occurs to me they were maybe relieved that they wouldn't have to Have The Talk so they let me read it. um and then I discovered i was a gaywad which probably made most of what i had read irrelevant.

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

Your 2. is very similar to my own, except I never asked my parents about it and just looked at it when they weren't around. Furtive sex education! I'm sure my parents preferred it that way, too.

A couple years later, they showed a video at my school featuring the cast from Annie. They were teenagers now, and couldn't wait to talk about Growing Up on Broadway. Urrrgh.

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

1. I would go with regular mustard rather than wasabi, but in a pinch, very little of it, yes.

2. When I was around 8, I saw two people making out who shouldn't have been, so I ran inside the house telling my mom "so and so are making love!!" so she was like, "huh?" so I described the situation. She laughed a bit and then explained the difference between making out and making love, (it wasn't linguistic confusion; the word "making" does not appear in "making out" in French) and then she went outside to stop the action.

[ladyvoldything.livejournal.com]

Monkey Island icon FTMFW!!! (For The Mother-Fucking Win)

[zingerella.livejournal.com]

1. I am dubious about the combination of brie, pear, and wasabi mustard. I think any two of these might work together. All three might fight.

2. I can't remember whether my mother gave me The Book before or after my poor seventh-grade Catholic school teacher sent the boys to the library and informed us that the Ministry of Education said we had to have sex education, since we were in Grade 7. Sex happened, he told us, when the man inserted his penis into the woman's vagina, and we each had a slip of paper on which we could write an anonymous question that he would answer.

I thought about it for a while, and wrote, carefully, "Why?"

It was much, much longer before I figured out the answer to that. Mr. P. apparently didn't feel qualified to attempt an answer.

[threepunchstuff.livejournal.com]

1. Nope!

2. I walked in on my parents.

[funnel101.livejournal.com]

1. No clue... as I don't actually know what wasabi mustard is.
2. My mom gave me a book about it when I was 8, I think. I don't actually remember if that was the first time I learned about sex, though.

[jordansc.livejournal.com]

1. Maybe.

2. Around age 4. When I first learned "the difference," between a man and a woman, I chanted "penis, vagina" while in a supermarket. (Or so I'm told.) Anyway, I received a book with illustrations not long after because my parents figured it was inevitable and that it was best I learn from them.

[pretzelsalt.livejournal.com]

1) Yes!! But then I like trying everything and it sounds good - perhaps try it on half then you know next time! Though the sandwhich is probably long ago masticated at this time no?

2)Michelle Campbell - who was worldly as she was older and in 3rd grade!! Sat with me at the end of a sandbox and drew 3 holes with a stick. Then she said "this is where the pee comes out (poke with stick) This is where the poo comes (poke with stick) AND THIS is where the boy rams his penis in (stabs third hole until entire diagram is destroyed). Lets just say I waited a few years to try it out.

[dobrovolets.livejournal.com]

1. There's only one way to find out. That stated, I'm skeptical.

2. I read about it in the encyclopedia, just like I learned about everything else.

My mother tells the following story, which may be apocryphal. It was when she was very pregnant with my brother, so it would have been not long after my third birthday. We were visiting my grandparents, and she was sunning herself in their backyard. I came out of the house, walked up to her, and asked, "Mom, how's the baby going to get out?" She replied, "How do you think it's going to get out?" I looked around for a little bit, thought, and said, "Your bellybutton." She did not correct me, and I went back inside. Then, a few minutes later, after having apparently given the matter some further consideration, I came back outside and announced to her, "No, it's not going to come out of your bellybutton, because that's too small. It'll come out the same way it got in, through your vagina." And then I returned to whatever I had been doing inside.

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

1. Ummm....I have no idea.

2. Mostly from my friends (who also had no idea) and the fucked up media unfortunately. My mom raised me as a single mother and I don't think she really knew how to approach the aspect of male sexuality with me. The "talk" was her telling me at 13 or 14 that I should always use a condom and not to get anyone pregnant.

Reading a lot of Carol Queen and Susie Bright around the time I was sixteen straightened me out on sex pretty fast. I recommend everyone read them.

[sadie-sabot.livejournal.com]

1) yes, defnitely

2) I grew up on a commune.

[chibibluebird.livejournal.com]

1. Probably.


2. (to my mom) "Sarah thinks she's cool running around the playground yelling "sex!!!" but it's really just stupid." (pause) "Mom, what's sex, anyway?"

"It's something people talk about with their boyfriend or girlfriend when they're older- in junior high or high school."

Didn't find out what it actually was until I was pretty old - at least 11.

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

1. Sounds interesting. I like wasabi more than many do. I've even had wasabi with apples, but I don't think I've had it with pears.

I think wasabi/pear/brie might need a dash of soy sauce, though. Or be served with grilled unagi (freshwater eel).

2. I learned the rudiments from a) watching other mammals, b) a book my mother strategically left on the coffee table, and c) reading a lot of adult science fiction. For practical knowledge, I started with a review of Masters and Johnson's Human Sexual Response in an issue of Scientific American (it had an excerpt that went into great detail), and later, reading the whole book.

Human Sexual Response

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

What an awesome education.

[eyelidlessness.livejournal.com]

1. No fucking idea.
2. My mom's boyfriend's porn. I guess I wasn't supposed to watch it, because he hit me with it when he caught me. Lucky for me this didn't really fuck up my perception of sex in any way I can discern, but it did give me a lot to sort out about porn.

[erinlin.livejournal.com]

1. That might actually be good.

2. I had it demonstrated to me with magic markers.

[dubh-ceol.livejournal.com]

omg. you have a Whump icon!

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

1) I think I'd go with zingerella's advice on sticking with two out of three. You could arrange all three ingredients on a table and try every combination, working your way up until you get to all three. In any case, you should probably cleanse you palette with some ginger in between each experiment.

2) My parents were Euro-hippie hypocrites. They were quite open about the mechanics, ran around naked and even left their copy of The Joy of Sex lying about. As a child, I wasn't all that interested, yet my parents' openness tended to get me in trouble in grade school, since I would matter of factly relay it. I do recall drawing naked people for the letter N. jordansc's experience rings true for me too: I probably did a ton of such stuff. But by the time I was a teenager in the 80s, my zeitgeist-sensitive mother hid The Joy of Sex because it had pictures which, of course, turn boys into rapists. The mixed message was basically that masturbation was okay as long as I didn't picture anything. Not an easy thing for a visually-oriented artist to process.

[seaya.livejournal.com]

1. Wasabi isn't mustard. However, wasabi flavored mustard...hmm..ew brie is gross. ;)

2. The general stick tab a in slot b to make teh babiez from parents. Other stuff from reading various things.

[talkjive.livejournal.com]

1. Not true, actually. Most wasabi used in the States- well, here in Florida and I'm told elsewhere- uses a combination of powdered horseradish and powdered mustard, which is then mixed with water into the smooth green playdough (texture varying depending on your chef and his water ratio) lump sitting next to your (invariably dyed BRIGHT PINK) pickled ginger.

[gillen.livejournal.com]

1. No

2. by watching porn on the scrambled-signal late night UHF channels

[morgoid.livejournal.com]

1. (I asked my room-mate:) "Well, obviously."

2. Dad's porn stash.

[collie13.livejournal.com]

1) Good gracious, no! Horrible thing to do to an innocent li'l pear-&-brie sandwich. I always have my sweetie help me with wasabi on my shrimp sushi, in fact. I hold up their little tails with my chopsticks, and he neatly scoops out the offending matter. We refer to it as a "wasabi-ectomy." ;)

2) As a very small child I saw other mammals engaged in The Act[TM]. They looked so silly I knew no intelligent human would want to do that! I cheerfully maintained this belief for an inordinate number of years... probably to my parents' great relief.

[constintina.livejournal.com]

1. almost, but probably no. I'd try one bite, though.

2. when I was 4 my babysitter one time explained all about sex, and also nuclear bombs.

[chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com]

when I was 4 my babysitter one time explained all about sex, and also nuclear bombs.

Did the earth move for you?