My afternoon, Zork-style

[sabotabby]

You are standing on Augusta Avenue in Kensington Market. It's a sunny Thursday afternoon, and the Market is bustling. Don't these people have jobs?

There are exits to the north, south, east, and west.

>S

You push your way south along Augusta.

>E

You are now on Baldwin St.

>S

You are now on Kensington. A store advertises multicoloured keffiyehs under a sign that says: "Rock the Casbah."

>OH HELL NO

Sorry about that. Fucking hipsters.

>E

You turn onto St. Andrew. You are standing in front of Moonbean.

>ENTER MOONBEAN

There are approximately 200 varieties of fair trade, shade-grown, organic coffee. Is there any one in particular you'd like?

>ALL OF THEM

I'm sorry, I do not understand that command.

>OKAY, ETHIOPIAN

Yum! You are now caffeinated.

>EXIT MOONBEAN

You turn onto St. Andrew. You are standing in front of Moonbean.

>N

You turn onto Baldwin.

>W

You turn onto Augusta.

>BUY EMPANADAS

The spicy salsa verde ones?

>HELLS YES

Good call.

>N

You are standing on Augusta in front of that yuppie craft store; the vanguard of gentrification in the neighbourhood.

>GO IN

Are you sure?

>Y

Holy fuck, they have a Soviet military kitsch stand!

>MY FETISHES HAVE BEEN CO-OPTED

Tell me about it.

>BUY AVIATOR GOGGLES

You cannot has.

>EXIT

You are standing on Augusta Ave.

>N

You walk north and stop at the corner of Brunswick and Bloor. The patio of Future Bakery is almost full. Seriously, where do these people work that they can get a Thursday afternoon off?

>ENTER FUTURES

Your entrance startles a Marxist study group sitting by the front door.

>JOIN STUDY GROUP

Sorry, you are not a grad student.

>BUY MORE COFFEE

Fortunately, the option of mindless consumption is still open to you.

>SIT ON THE PATIO AND DRINK COFFEE UNTIL CLASS STARTS

Fuck yes!

Comments

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

lol!

[sabotabby]

:)

[frippy.livejournal.com]

You win the internets this time.

BUT NEXT TIME... NEXT TIME... VICTORY SHALL BE MINE.

[sabotabby]

The awesome thing about being a commie bastard is that the internets, once won, can be redistributed amongst the masses.

[apperception.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[sabotabby]

:D

[seaya.livejournal.com]

Hey, what, no pathways that go in all directions with an endless loop?

;)

[sabotabby]

No Grue either.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ex_cowboy/]

shitty day. thanks for making it a little better.

this will truly test the geekiness of your friends list.

[sabotabby]

My friends list is really damned geeky, so I suspect it'll go over okay.

I'm sorry you had a shitty day.

[ironed_orchid]

I'd say it sounds awesome - except that you do not possess googles as a result. BOO.

[sabotabby]

Ah, but now I know where the $35 goggles of awesome can be found when I next get paid.

[ebourland.livejournal.com]

Hee. Nice.

[sabotabby]

Thanks!

[spuzbal.livejournal.com]

My dad made my character walk off a cliff when I was playing that game around 1989 or something. I guess he thought it would be funny? Haha.

[sabotabby]

I sucked at Zork.

[human-loser.livejournal.com]

Aw! Now I'm all Torontostalgic!

[sabotabby]

Come visit!

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

//DIES

Ohhh Zork! How much I love love love Zork. Oh, InfoCom.

MY FETISHES HAVE BEEN CO-OPTED
Tell me about it.

YES. //oh hai grunge chic

Fortunately, the option of mindless consumption is still open to you.

Oh Jesus, isn't it always.

Were the people in the Marxist study group wearing aviator goggles?

Also, lovely photos.

[sabotabby]

I would have forced myself upon the people in the Marxist study group if they were wearing aviator goggles, grad student or not. No, they were just normal-looking university kids.

[krinndnz.livejournal.com]

Everyone of a certain disposition eventually writes an Infocom-style piece. I like the trend.

[sabotabby]

It's true. Also, we all eventually make bar graphs or pie charts detailing some minor observation.

The sad thing is that sometimes my internal narrative goes like this, or turns into an 80s video game.

[eyelidlessness.livejournal.com]

For some reason I felt like I was reading Life: brought to you buy the posters of poignant_graphs

[sabotabby]

zorklife.

[rrrao.livejournal.com]

That was awesome - it was like I was back in 1988 and dialing up 416 BBSes with a 2400 baud modem... ;)

[sabotabby]

You had internets in 1988? Lucky!

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

Young whippersnappers. I was playing Adventure back in the early 70's. Pre-grue, even.

[sabotabby]

You had a computer in the early 70s? Lucky!

[eumelia.livejournal.com]

Wow, Zork.
That brings back very vague memories of watching my brother play computer games on the television in our living room.
Of course not being able to read a the time I forced him to tell me what was going on the screen.
He then commenced to Zork me by "Typewriting" on me, it was the one and only time he ever did that because I screamed like a banshee.

Awsome day! Are those colourful Keffiyah's!!!!!?!!?? o_O

[sabotabby]

I like the purple one far more than I should. Not that I'd buy one. Fucking hipsters.

[glamaph0ne.livejournal.com]

AHAHA I love how this entry is written like those old (and wicked fun) videogames. xD

[sabotabby]

Thanks!

[robotar.livejournal.com]

that display of keffiyehs is teh ew

[sabotabby]

Oh yes.

It's only a matter of time before tie-dyed keffiyehs come out. It might have happened already.

[funnel101.livejournal.com]

Zork!!!

I still haven't beaten any of the text-only games. Maybe it's because I haven't tried playing stoned? But yes, I love Zork, and the utter and complete zaniness. :)

[sabotabby]

I could never win any of them either. Hell, I can't even get out of the gymnasium in Punk Points.

[lokilokust.livejournal.com]

won't someone think of the tigers?!

[sabotabby]

Poor thing—he's biting through his own tongue!

[king-felix.livejournal.com]

Best post evar.

[sabotabby]

Thanks!

obligatory

[springheel-jack.livejournal.com]

You may be eaten by a grue!

Re: obligatory

[sabotabby]

Maybe that's why I feel so tired today.

[shelestel.livejournal.com]

:o)
I WANT MY 386 BACK!

[sabotabby]

I had an XT. Don't you wish we'd kept those things?