Rambo III, Part III
Jul. 29th, 2008 01:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabotabbyStill with me? The previous parts are here and here.
Okay, so we've passed the set-up and the introductions. Now it's time for a dead sheep.
A really hot (and strangely clean-shaven) mujahadeen invites Rambo to join the locals in a game of dead-sheep-football. And you know, when I started my blogging career, I would never have imagined that I would one day have to type that sentence. I do it for you, my readers. I do it all for you.
Rambo almost wins at Buzkashi, despite having never played it before, because the rule in these sorts of movies is that a white guy can automatically win any game usually played by brown people.
Fortunately, the Soviets arrive to disrupt this annoying and condescending scene by blowing the fuck out of it.
Okay, that was kind of cool. It's Sheep-Throwing Mujahadeen Guy by a nose!
Yuri, we hardly knew ya. Why was he even in this movie?
Rambo runs around and shouts for everyone to take cover. Given that he’s surrounded by fierce and noble holy warriors, you might think that this is a little patronizing. However, these are the least effective bunch of insurgents you’ve seen since the last Rambo movie, where the Vietcong are completely incapable of ever looking up.
Case in point: They abandoned their anti-aircraft machine gun thingie.
Anyway, their ineffectiveness results in most of them running around screaming and getting killed. Only Rambo gets some good shots in. But the Russians basically obliterate the village and then take off.
Rambo listens to the Cure’s “Disintegration.” Admit it, you do too.
Mujahadeen Guy: “In war, there should be honour. There is no honour here. You’re a good friend, and I’m sure you people from the free world would never do anything dishonourable like invading an already suffering nation, bombing it from the air, and paying local warlords to kidnap people for you to imprison in illegal jails.”
Rambo: “…”
The Littlest Taliban: “It is can it be infiltrating Russian prison tiem nao?”
Rambo: “You cannot has.”
The Littlest Taliban: “NOOOES!”
Mousa: “Hey, I’m all for pwning the Russians, but why are you doing this?”
Rambo: “He’d do it for me.”
Mousa: “Um, didn’t he completely betray you in the last two movies?”
Rambo: “I can’t hear you! FLAG FLAG FLAG.”
Cutest. Child soldier. Ever.
Soviets, like the Vietcong, never look up.
Helpful Hint: When you’re trying to infiltrate an enemy base, the best way in is probably by grabbing on to the bottom of a tank and just rollin’ on in. No one ever sees that coming.
Wait, WTF?
Rambo: “Colonel?”
Trautman: “John?”
They make out.
It’s explosive.
OH NOES LITTLEST TALIBAN!
Rambo gets shrapnelled. Why, what did you think they were doing in this scene?
Fortunately, Rambo is not the sort of guy who is bothered by a large piece of wood impaling his torso, as he manages to leap over the flaming ruins of the Soviet prison, carrying an AK-47 in one hand and the Littlest Taliban in the other.
They flee into the sewers, because staph infections roxx0rz.
Rambo decides to screw the whole holy war thing and just hold a rave.
Rambo procures an RPG from a convenient, if random, mujahadeen who just happens to be stopping by and then gets killed. No, I don’t get it either, but we’re hardly going to have a Rambo movie with no RPG in it, are we?
The Russian prison blows up good, miraculously—as you’ll see later—without harming any of the prisoners inside.
Zaysen is all pissed because Rambo tried to blow up his base. Ladies and gentlemen, we have some actual dialogue again!
Zaysen: “Are you insane? One man against three commandos? Who do you think this man is, God?”
Say it with me, kids: “God would have mercy . He won’t.”
Trautman is such a fanboy.
Up next: The final installment, including one of the grossest things I've seen in a mainstream movie. Yes, worse than the dead sheep.
Okay, so we've passed the set-up and the introductions. Now it's time for a dead sheep.
A really hot (and strangely clean-shaven) mujahadeen invites Rambo to join the locals in a game of dead-sheep-football. And you know, when I started my blogging career, I would never have imagined that I would one day have to type that sentence. I do it for you, my readers. I do it all for you.
Rambo almost wins at Buzkashi, despite having never played it before, because the rule in these sorts of movies is that a white guy can automatically win any game usually played by brown people.
Fortunately, the Soviets arrive to disrupt this annoying and condescending scene by blowing the fuck out of it.
Okay, that was kind of cool. It's Sheep-Throwing Mujahadeen Guy by a nose!
Yuri, we hardly knew ya. Why was he even in this movie?
Rambo runs around and shouts for everyone to take cover. Given that he’s surrounded by fierce and noble holy warriors, you might think that this is a little patronizing. However, these are the least effective bunch of insurgents you’ve seen since the last Rambo movie, where the Vietcong are completely incapable of ever looking up.
Case in point: They abandoned their anti-aircraft machine gun thingie.
Anyway, their ineffectiveness results in most of them running around screaming and getting killed. Only Rambo gets some good shots in. But the Russians basically obliterate the village and then take off.
Rambo listens to the Cure’s “Disintegration.” Admit it, you do too.
Mujahadeen Guy: “In war, there should be honour. There is no honour here. You’re a good friend, and I’m sure you people from the free world would never do anything dishonourable like invading an already suffering nation, bombing it from the air, and paying local warlords to kidnap people for you to imprison in illegal jails.”
Rambo: “…”
The Littlest Taliban: “It is can it be infiltrating Russian prison tiem nao?”
Rambo: “You cannot has.”
The Littlest Taliban: “NOOOES!”
Mousa: “Hey, I’m all for pwning the Russians, but why are you doing this?”
Rambo: “He’d do it for me.”
Mousa: “Um, didn’t he completely betray you in the last two movies?”
Rambo: “I can’t hear you! FLAG FLAG FLAG.”
Cutest. Child soldier. Ever.
Soviets, like the Vietcong, never look up.
Helpful Hint: When you’re trying to infiltrate an enemy base, the best way in is probably by grabbing on to the bottom of a tank and just rollin’ on in. No one ever sees that coming.
Wait, WTF?
Rambo: “Colonel?”
Trautman: “John?”
They make out.
It’s explosive.
OH NOES LITTLEST TALIBAN!
Rambo gets shrapnelled. Why, what did you think they were doing in this scene?
Fortunately, Rambo is not the sort of guy who is bothered by a large piece of wood impaling his torso, as he manages to leap over the flaming ruins of the Soviet prison, carrying an AK-47 in one hand and the Littlest Taliban in the other.
They flee into the sewers, because staph infections roxx0rz.
Rambo decides to screw the whole holy war thing and just hold a rave.
Rambo procures an RPG from a convenient, if random, mujahadeen who just happens to be stopping by and then gets killed. No, I don’t get it either, but we’re hardly going to have a Rambo movie with no RPG in it, are we?
The Russian prison blows up good, miraculously—as you’ll see later—without harming any of the prisoners inside.
Zaysen is all pissed because Rambo tried to blow up his base. Ladies and gentlemen, we have some actual dialogue again!
Zaysen: “Are you insane? One man against three commandos? Who do you think this man is, God?”
Say it with me, kids: “God would have mercy . He won’t.”
Trautman is such a fanboy.
Up next: The final installment, including one of the grossest things I've seen in a mainstream movie. Yes, worse than the dead sheep.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 06:56 pm (UTC)OOOPMPH-CH OOOMPH-CH OOOMPH-CH OOOMPH-CH
no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 07:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 06:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 06:04 am (UTC)the raptor spices things up i think
....
dawkins camp
no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 06:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 09:55 pm (UTC)I read this as Rambo procures an RPG from a convent, and was very confused.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 09:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 10:03 pm (UTC)part of the syllabus was lethal weapon.
and the book version of tarzan.
and the deerhunter.
and miraculously I am still alive.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-29 10:07 pm (UTC)calling all canadians!!
Date: 2008-07-29 10:13 pm (UTC)canadian literature!
I could use an idea for a paper. *nudge*
I wanted to look at gay/lesbian literary production and compare it to the official liberal attitude of canada and see if there is the same type of hypocrisy as there is with multiculturalism. Unfortunately, the only lesbian writer I know, dionne brand, mostly deals with her identity as a west indian and not as a lesbian.
In other words, I need a topic and have no inspiration!!!
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!
Re: calling all canadians!!
Date: 2008-07-29 10:18 pm (UTC)Yes.
Maybe look at the case of Little Sisters vs. Customs Canada? It's not literature per se, though.
Also check out Marie-Claire Blais, Ann-Marie MacDonald, Timothy Findley, Michel Tremblay, and Sky Gilbert.
Re: calling all canadians!!
Date: 2008-07-29 10:27 pm (UTC)If you could give me an idea what is really helpful for such a paper i would order the books on amazon. this is a topic I really want to write on but I will have to order everything abroad and the shipping will cost more than the books themselves.
Re: calling all canadians!!
Date: 2008-07-30 01:00 am (UTC)Better Than Chocolate is a cute romantic comedy partially based on the story. You can download or stream it; it's pretty wildly available, and worth watching just because of the adorableness.
Blais and Tremblay both mostly write about the francophone/anglophone divide (at least, that's the stuff I studied in school) but they're also both gay. I admit that I never got into Tremblay, but I went on a Blais reading kick in high school. La Belle Bête, if I recall, had quite a bit to do with masks and the contradiction between how one appears and what one actually is.
I personally loathe Timothy Findley, but admitting it is enough to get someone exiled around here. I would recommend maybe a page out of any of his novels. :)
The only thing I've read by Ann-Marie MacDonald is Fall On Your Knees, which if I recall correctly is pretty heterosexual. I have no idea what her other stuff is like, but well, she's a famous lesbian Canadian author.
Sky Gilbert is not a terribly good author, but he's a hell of a lot of fun, and throughout his career he's been much more into pushing taboos of polite society, so I like him. He also ran Buddies In Bad Times Theatre back when it was good. He's pretty much goofy high camp and all of his stuff is fun.
Re: calling all canadians!!
Date: 2008-07-30 07:54 am (UTC)It seems from your description that most gay canadian writers are not really dealing with the hypocrisy in the way that visible minorities in canada are. I wrote away to a gay activist organization in canada and got no answer. I have a feeling that there will be no paper to write until gays in canada feel the need to write the things that ethnic minorities in canada are writing.
thanks so much for the effort you made in answering me.
Re: calling all canadians!!
Date: 2008-07-30 02:20 pm (UTC)Keep in mind that we also read a very narrow and awful segment of Canadian literature in high school, which is usually enough to put most readers on to anything but CanLit by university. Most of the Canadian authors I like are nonfiction, and the fiction authors who I do like are not what I'd call great literature. So I may not be your best source here.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 01:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-30 07:48 am (UTC)I almost felt sorry for the a number of guys who expected something totally different and ended up with a tough critique of american masculinity and not a class on 'oh poor men, it is so tough to be a man". (note, I said almost)
no subject
Date: 2008-07-31 07:33 am (UTC)But now that This Glorious Murrican Empire is having our little
oil warBattle To Free The Iraqi People, this movie is suddenly so much more interesting.Too bad the irony would be totally lost on the people who most need to see it....
no subject
Date: 2008-07-31 02:50 pm (UTC)