The lie that makes us realize the truth

[sabotabby]

When I was in Grade 10, my history teacher told me that Catherine the Great died from fucking a horse. It wasn't true, but it sure got me interested in history, which had previously seemed a rather dull subject.

Comments

as Isak Dinesen said

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

"The first duty of a teacher is not to instruct but to inspire."

(MAI GED, LET ME SHOW U IT)

[arnavtul.livejournal.com]

my most vivid memory of history lessons is being told that the jews invented kashrut against eating pigs because when going out of egypt they wanted to take their pigs who would get sunburnt and die in the desert. they were so stupid and/or stubborn that the religious leaders just made up some rule about not eating pigs so they would take goats or something with them instead.
the end

[rojonoir.livejournal.com]

Are you sure about that, because googlefight says horse.

http://googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=%22catherine+the+great%22+horse&word2=%22catherine+the+great%22+stroke

The internetz don't lie.

[troubleinchina.livejournal.com]

What got me interested in Classical Studies was Sappho of Lesbos.

[shelestel.livejournal.com]

Mmmm... horseys.

That's Funny ...

[ed-rex.livejournal.com]

When I was (briefly) in grade nine in a normal high school in Sudbury, my English teacher was a long-haired young dude who definitely wanted to use "cool" as part of his approach.

One day he explained that Rod Stewart was *gasp* bisexual.

As far as I know it was actually true, but it didn't inspire in me any love for the musician. To me, he was then (and remains) a mediocre pop-singer in rock 'n roll drag.

Just sayin'.

[99catsaway.livejournal.com]

If it weren't for that horse, you wouldn't have spent that year in college?

[sabotabby]

...I'm missing a reference?

[99catsaway.livejournal.com]

Ooh, it's a Lewis Black routine. I can't find any videos of him doing it, but this weird Youtube clip has the audio.



Your post just fit it so well as a possible explanation for the quote!

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. Lewis Black is a genius.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I was also told this at about the same age, but not by my history teacher. I remember wondering whether the horse was just too well-endowed or whether (I still wasn't too clear on the mechanics at that age, if you can believe that) she'd had to have the horse picked up on a sort of crane to be hanging over her in the missionary position, and perhaps the crane broke and the horse crushed her. You don't easily forget an image like that.

[sabotabby]

I spent far too much time trying to work out the mechanics in my head.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

Of Catherine's Little Pony slash, or in general?

[sabotabby]

Both, really.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I just could not figure out how it all went together, despite the best efforts of my crappy schooling, and it was a source of intellectual frustration. But it's not really the sort of thing you can *ask* about. And despite one friendly person who carefully took me to one side and explained a bunch of things one day when I'd reached the age of 24 or so, there were some things I didn't really figure out about how it all fitted together (for straight sex as well as gay sex) until I was actually involved.

I was so sweet and innocent. Or something.

[princessrugger.livejournal.com]

i heard that there was a pulley system involved, and the harness broke and the horse fell on her, crushing her to death. so that must be an actual true report of how it happened.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

That's the story, but my old Russian Studies professor told me that was a vicious rumor started by the British ambassador. The actual story is almost as funny. Catherine the Great was, like Peter the Great, an avid modernizer and one of her newfangled enthusiasms was indoor plumbing. So she had her own royal throne. This created some uncertainly in protocol in the rigid, tradition-bound Russian court, so when Catherine had a stroke on the can, everyone was afraid to check up on her because you don't hassle the sovereign when she's on the toilet. She was left there for days decaying while her attendants tried to decide what to do.

Of course, my prof. may be pulling my leg with that one too.

Unfortunately, neither ending was used in The Scarlet Empress (1934) a pre-code Hollywood talkie directed by Josef von Sternberg with Marlene Dietrich in the title role. (The film ends with her becoming empress.) However, it did show brief nudity, S&M and the most awesome Expressionist sculpture chairs. (The photo doesn't do them justice, but you get the general idea.) The sets were incredible.

[one-serious-cat.livejournal.com]

I was already interested in history (albeit in a contemptibly unscholarly way), but I also heard that story in the tenth grade. I think it's in original Book of Lists, a very quietly influential 1970s text.

[sabotabby]

I was interested in history but I don't think I saw it as such. I mean, I read about historical events, politics, and so on. But Canadian history as a subject is taught in a rather specific way as to make children uninterested in it and thus fail to take any lessons from it.

What else is in the Book of Lists?

[one-serious-cat.livejournal.com]

Well, there are other bizarre ways in which people were supposed to have died, eaten, and/or copulated down the centuries. There's also some literary stuff. I didn't pay much attention to anything else in it.

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I HAD A COPY OF THE BOOK OF LISTS!

I found it in a second-hand bookshop. It was almost as good for learning bits of random trivia as Wikipedia would have been had I been a kid these days.

Wikipedia itself gives instances of the lists as:
* Famous people who died during sex
* The world's greatest libel suits
* People suspected of being the real Jack the Ripper
* Worst places to hitchhike
* People misquoted by Ronald Reagan
* Breeds of dogs which bite people the most, and the least

[sabotabby]

Does it have the thing about Death by Shih Tzu in China?

[marnanel.livejournal.com]

I don't remember-- it would be in my parents' house in England now, I suppose, where I left it when I moved out. Why, what is this thing?

[sabotabby]

Someone told me that Shih Tzus were bred to be guard dogs for Chinese emperors, and if the emperor was ever attacked, a small army of Shih Tzus would attack en masse and rip the would-be assassin to shreds.

I am, for obvious reasons, pretty sure that this is complete bollocks, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to start a punk band and name it Death By Shih Tzu.

[warlordkittens.livejournal.com]

So awesome.