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[personal profile] sabotabby
The People Who Live on the Moon
An awkward parable


I don’t know if you guys know this, but the Moon has been colonized for ages by a race of aliens that are very much like you and me. They live in underground caverns that look a bit like this:



Their society is one of the most prosperous anywhere in the universe. They have tons of money, which they use to buy awesome technological gadgets that let them be in instantaneous contact with friends on the other side of the Moon. They produce more food in their underground greenhouses than they know what to do with. Their reality TV is of the highest quality of any reality TV in this region of space.



The only problem is this: The Moon has no air. They’ve developed a way to synthesize a breathable atmosphere, which they pump through all of the buildings in the underground caverns. But this technology was developed by a capricious and greedy company. The air company keeps their quality filtered air circulating through the Moon colony. The Moon people hardly ever think about where their air comes from. But every so often, completely randomly, the air company cuts off the air of a particular house until the owner of the house pays for them to restart it. The amount of money that the unfortunate owner of the house must pay is completely dependent on the whim of the air company. Moon people get understandably nervous about the prospect of their air getting cut off. After all, there’s no source of free air on the Moon, and suffocation is a horrible way to die.

Accordingly, an industry has sprung up around keeping the air flowing to people’s houses. Several companies provide air insurance—at a cost, of course. If you have air insurance and the air company cuts off your air, the insurance company will get it back up and running before you suffocate. Usually. So most of the Moon people have air insurance. Many Moon companies recognize the importance of air, so they provide air insurance to their workers. Other Moon people buy it privately.

There are just a few snags:

1. Air insurance is really expensive. Some Moon people can’t afford it.
2. If you’ve ever had your air cut off in the past, no company will sell you air insurance.
3. If you get sick and can’t work, your company will stop paying for your air insurance, and you won’t have any money to buy your own private air insurance.

It’s quite possible, of course, for an alien to live her entire life out on the Moon and never get the air in her house cut off. So many Moon people who don’t have a lot of money decide to take a risk and not buy air insurance. They figure if their air does suddenly get cut off, they can run to a neighbour’s house and hope to be taken in, or that maybe they can do a deal with the air company to get the air back up and running, as long as they pay a tribute to the air company for the rest of their lives. Hopefully, their air won’t get cut off until they’re old and have enough savings to pay the reconnection fee.

For a lot of Moon people, air insurance isn’t even an option. They can’t get jobs at the sorts of companies that provide good air coverage, or they’re too young, or too old, or too sick, or they’ve had too many run-ins with the air company before to qualify. A significant number of Moon people die of suffocation every year because they can’t afford to pay when their air supply gets cut off.

This used to not be reported at all, but increasingly, the Moon people are noticing that Martians, who also suffer from an air shortage, have a different air system entirely. The Martians pay more in taxes than the Moon people do, but they don’t need to pay for air insurance. It actually comes out cheaper, because there are no big air insurance companies that require an overhead; just one, centralized government department that makes sure that air gets provided to everyone. The Moon press reports that the quality of air on Mars isn’t as good as the air on the Moon, but the Martians aren’t complaining, really. Air, they argue, is a Martian right.

Many Moon people are talking about reforms to the air insurance industry. As it happens, there is currently an election happening for Moon President. One candidate thinks that the air insurance system is pretty good as is—if anything, he seems to want to get rid of any limits that currently exist, letting the insurance companies charge whatever they want for their services. The other candidate wants to pass a law requiring everyone to buy air insurance, including the people who are now too poor to buy air insurance.

A few Moon people have suggested moving to the Martian system, but whenever they pipe up, they’re called socialists, which is the biggest insult you can possibly think of in the Moon people’s language.

The Martians, for their part, don’t understand at all why the Moon people don’t stage a revolution over this. To them, the whole air insurance issue is, well, pure lunacy.
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Date: 2008-08-15 10:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eumelia.livejournal.com
I like science fiction.

Date: 2008-08-15 10:23 pm (UTC)
ironed_orchid: a raise fist with a axe blade on the wrist (axe/fist)
From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid
Perfect.

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From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid - Date: 2008-08-15 10:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid - Date: 2008-08-15 10:41 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rojonoir.livejournal.com
Don't forget to add that whenever polls are taken most people seem to like the idea of the Martian system, but the politicians on both sides and the media (all of whom are receiving money from the air and air insurance companies) ignore this and laugh off the idea of applying the Martian system because it is a crazy extremist position that'll never work.

btw, speaking of the "Red" planet, that reminds me of this sci-fi movie about Italian Fascists in 1939 sent to invade Mars - many LOLz:

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From: [identity profile] rojonoir.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:07 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] rojonoir.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:51 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] seaya.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-16 12:32 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] terry-terrible.livejournal.com
But if you socialize air, then you won't be able to choose what kind of air you get and what air-person agent gives it to you!!!!!


*dum*dum*dum*

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From: [identity profile] rojonoir.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:09 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] terry-terrible.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:24 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] tanyahp.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:31 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] kryss-labryn.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-18 11:34 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 10:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dmlaenker.livejournal.com
Love, love, love, so much love.

Can I meme or metaquote this?

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From: [identity profile] dmlaenker.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:00 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 10:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] khalinche.livejournal.com
That last phrase made me smile. It does something to the whole piece, having it turn up at the end like that.

Date: 2008-08-15 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] krinndnz.livejournal.com
My pre-existing fictional associations with The Moon and Mars make this very, very amusing in a non-health-care-related way.

That aside, nice allegory, well done, yes.

*monocle, golf clap*

Date: 2008-08-15 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rohmie.livejournal.com
Speaking of blogging about fucked up American politics, I thought this bit might interest you. Fox News has been pushing this story about a huge split in the Democratic party in the hopes that it will come true. Central to this narrative is this womens group called PUMA that apparently thinks that defeating the candidate that defeated Clinton is more important than, say, the war in Iraq or a woman's right to choose. They claim to have millions of members, but could only get 60 to show up at their big pre-convention conference - including a few anti-Semitic right-wingers. Comedy gold.

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From: [identity profile] rohmie.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:55 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thenetwork.livejournal.com
*applauds loudly*

The Swiss have had universal heath care for a loooong time. It obviously has ruined the country, which is one of the poorest on Earth. Not. There is nothing at all wrong with socialism, heh. Americans are weird.

Date: 2008-08-15 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apperception.livejournal.com
...So the moon really is hollow?

Date: 2008-08-15 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beam-oflight.livejournal.com
Brilliant, the best story I've read in a long time, those crazy moon people, whatever will they come up with next?

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From: [identity profile] beam-oflight.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:42 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 11:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spuzbal.livejournal.com
Oh my god, I think I saw that exact picture somewhere as a kid. What's it from?

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From: [identity profile] reverendgraham.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-15 11:56 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-15 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faithhopetricks.livejournal.com
This is ENTIRELY made of win.

Date: 2008-08-15 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reverendgraham.livejournal.com
Seems odd that subterranean moon folk would live in Stanford tori. That would seem to violate any number of physical laws relating to gravitation, &c., and would at the very least be profoundly impractical. Maybe if they built cities more appropriate to being at the bottom of a planetary-body-sized gravity well they would have more money left over for public air?

Anyway, the second-to-last paragraph seems to imply that Obama favors an individual mandate, which of course he does not. This is a not-insubstantial reason—although far from the only reason—why I supported him enthusiastically over his mandate-supporting opponent. A better analogy it seems to me would be that this supposed "other candidate" supports giving publicly-financed air to a slightly larger portion of the indigent population, thus plausibly laying out some sort of policy reform path by which public air may someday be extended to the whole population. Which is still fairly asinine in the overall context of things, but doesn't fly in the face of common sense quite as rudely as compulsory-insurance-buying does. In my opinion.

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From: [identity profile] chickenfeet2003.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-16 11:17 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] reverendgraham.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-16 04:49 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-16 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] auralarua.livejournal.com
Well done!

Off Topic, Kinda

Date: 2008-08-16 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seaya.livejournal.com
OMG in youtube surfing I found this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqyXJMcozng

Warning: Bad economics and a teeny bit of racism!
Edited Date: 2008-08-16 12:56 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-08-16 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] livingfossil.livejournal.com
But! You canadians have socialized medicine. You all die young and wait like three weeks to do so!

Date: 2008-08-16 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geneticallydead.livejournal.com
Us socialists here in Australia also work on the Mars system. But of course, we're evil socialists. I mean, we have things like a community law enforcement and fire departments! We have public libraries too, and they're for everybody who wants to go there. In fact we have all sorts of public services, which don't operate on a pay-by-use system.

So I'm assuming that on the Moon they don't have law enforcement or fire departments or public libraries, because that would be the same as having free air for everybody, and then they'd all be socialists.

Date: 2008-08-16 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] fannishnonsense
...I gotta move to Mars.

Date: 2008-08-16 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadie-sabot.livejournal.com
"pure lunacy"

*falls down laughing*

Date: 2008-08-16 04:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] holy-chao.livejournal.com
Super!

2. If you’ve ever had your air cut off in the past, no company will sell you air insurance.

This is me - I've had a lot of health problems, so when I got too old to be considered a dependent, I became basically uninsurable. They look at my medical history and are like, "Er, no thanks..."

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From: [identity profile] holy-chao.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-08-16 05:13 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-08-16 09:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queerasmoi.livejournal.com
psst. place under cut? the formatting is somehow messing my LJ and causing the text of the entry to bleed onto the ones after it.

Date: 2008-08-16 01:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trias-cube.livejournal.com
That was brilliant!

Date: 2008-08-16 03:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chailash.livejournal.com
Fantastic and brilliant! I can say that my air has never been cut off, thus allowing me to purchase my own air insurance, but it really cuts into my small moon-rock-making business profits. I have to sell 10 moon rocks monthly to pay for it! I would really like to move my moon-rock-making business to Mars.

I don't get americans either.

Date: 2008-08-16 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfma.livejournal.com
Came over here from [livejournal.com profile] realcdaae's journal.

Love it. Geez, I'm so tired of our healthcare system!

You channel the spirit of Vonnegut.
Edited Date: 2008-08-16 04:05 pm (UTC)
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