Seriously?

[sabotabby]

My heart goes out to the families of the victims, killed in a tragic accident that has provided the most quintessentially Canadian of all headlines: Flying bear kills two Canadians.

...for real. This is a thing that can happen.

Comments

[misslynx.livejournal.com]

OK, this is the second time I've had to use the WTF icon in the past half-hour (the other, if anyone is curious, was in response to this - please note, not even remotely safe for work - or sanity).

I have to admit, I kind of regret actually clicking on the story. Because sadly, the actual facts of the accident are far less awe-inspiring than the headline.

[sabotabby]

There is a way that they could have described the accident that would have been more factual and less funny. Bless their journalistic souls, they did not choose that path.

throbbing column of fuck meat.

throbbing column of fuck meat.

throbbing column of fuck meat.

Why did I not stick with music, misslynx? If I had a band, every sentence in that link could be a song title or lyric.

[misslynx.livejournal.com]

I think my favourite line was "Drive your tongue into the holy sacrament before your angry member violates its ramparts!", actually. But yes, much musical potential. In particular, I think "squirming anal burrow" needs to be the name of some sort of experimental industrial noise band.

And if you liked that one, you'll love the follow-up someone posted today, after finding another work by the same author: http://weepingcock.livejournal.com/625439.html

Some choice phrases this time around:

"exciting anal assault"
"virgin royal butt orifice"
and perhaps most terrifying/hilarious of all: "snapping ass lips"

SNAPPING. ASS. LIPS.

But of course, as is usual with weepingcock, it's often the comments that are the funniest. this one in particular just about killed me.

[sabotabby]

I would totally join weepingcock except that I think it would end up unduly influencing my porn writing. Which is bad enough as is.