Even with gigantic robots, Russia is not prepared for the rise of Cthulhu

[sabotabby]

You see, I had this whole post that I was going to do today, and it was going to be a brilliant post and everything that would garner about a million comments, but then I completely forgot it because nihilistic_kid posted this article:

Putin Weighs In on Robots, Sex Following Internet Conference
The St. Petersburg Times

MOSCOW — Russia will use robots to defend its borders, and President Vladimir Putin does not remember the first time he had sex.

After wrapping up an online conference last Thursday, Putin took a few minutes to answer several of the most-popular questions sent in by Russian Internet users, Kommersant reported Friday. The two journalists who hosted the 130-minute webcast had largely ignored the top-rated questions submitted online from around the world, focusing instead on foreign and domestic policy issues.

“Yes, we will use the latest technical devices. Already now they are being stationed, for example, in the southern parts of our country,” Putin said when reporters asked him after the conference whether Russia planned to use “gigantic, humanoid war robots” to defend itself.

Asked to elaborate about what he meant, Putin said: “These are unmanned aerial vehicles. And maybe the time will come for gigantic robots. However, so far we have put our main hope on people — namely border guards,” Putin said, Kommersant reported.

Asked about the possible awakening of the giant mythical octopus Cthulhu, the fourth-most popular question among the more than 150,000 sent to Putin, he said that he believed something more serious was behind the question. Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.

Putin said he viewed mysterious forces with suspicion and advised those who took them seriously to read the Bible, Koran or other religious books.

“When did you start to have sex?” Kommersant reporter Andrei Kolesnikov then asked, verbalizing a question that was on the minds of 5,640 Internet users.

“I don’t remember when I started. But I can remember the last time,” Putin said.

Comments

[syndicalist.livejournal.com]

Wow, the robots and sex thing hooked me in, but -- CTHULHU? Putin giving his opinions on ... CTHULHU!!? What the fuck! This is hilarious.

[sabotabby]

Cthulhu will eat Putin last, after devouring all of Russia and the former Soviet states and making him watch.

chtulhu

[apperception.livejournal.com]

...

.....

Okay what the fuck was that?

Did you see the thing where he kissed the kid's stomach?

Re: chtulhu

[sabotabby]

I'm trying to block that out.

He is seriously losing it.

Re: chtulhu

[pretzelsalt.livejournal.com]

WHAT??

Re: chtulhu

[apperception.livejournal.com]

meow

Re: chtulhu

[pretzelsalt.livejournal.com]

Okay I was NOT expecting that to be WEIRDER then it sounded!

All of a sudden I totally believe in everything I didn't believe 5 min ago.

*frantically claps for fairies*

Re: chtulhu

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

Damn, when did Michael Jackson become the President of Russia?

Re: chtulhu

[arthabaska.livejournal.com]

I've actually had the fun opportunity to read a biography on him a few years back. If you read between the lines, it's easy to see that vlad is actually just an awkward nerd with a serious love of power..and i try to say that objectively. So yeah, robots and cthulhu probably get him going, or at least he's not too stiff to see the humor in the questions and thereby not ignore them outright.

Re: chtulhu

[sabotabby]

I would like to go for a beer with him.

I would not like to encounter him in a dark alley. Or be an ethnic minority in Russia.

I don’t remember when I started...

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

... means that he'd like to forget. Or hopes that someone else has forgotten. I would guess it was embarassing.

Re: I don’t remember when I started...

[sabotabby]

In fairness to Pootie-Poot, most people's first times (my own included) were pretty embarrassing.

Re: I don’t remember when I started...

[bike4fish.livejournal.com]

I suppose there is also a reason why I intuited (to verbify things) that such was the case. But I wouldn't say I didn't remember.

Memory is good - one can avoid repeating faux pas.

[pretzelsalt.livejournal.com]

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ummm WHAT??

I totally want his email!!

To: Putini
From: PRetzel

Subject: Pull my finger

Q: Mr Putin - will you please pull my finger?

Q: Have you seen Titanic? Will your heart go on and on?

[sabotabby]

I bet he cried during Titanic. Call it a hunch.

[wlach.livejournal.com]

Apparently this is the result of a coordinated effort (on livejournal and other blogs) to make Putin answer questions on Cthulhu and "Giant Battle Androids". I don't think he got the joke.

[sabotabby]

Wow. Never underestimate the power and coolness of the Russian blogosphere. They are good for more than just cat photos!

[terry-terrible.livejournal.com]

"Putin said he viewed mysterious forces with suspicion and advised those who took them seriously to read the Bible, Koran or other religious books."


Umm....if you're suspicious of mysterious forces I don't think reading books based upon the acts of unseen mysterious forces is the best thing to do. But that's just my humble opinion.

Putin might be a authoritarian bastard, but atleast he's more entertaining than Brezhnev or Andropov.

[sabotabby]

Yeah, but not as entertaining as Khruschev. Had the internets been around back then, he would have threatened to smite Cthulhu with his shoe.

[kaelynn.livejournal.com]

seen this? http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/07/06/russia.putin.reut/index.html?section=cnn_topstories

[kaelynn.livejournal.com]

whoops. guess I shoulda read other comments, not just posts. :-P

[princealberic.livejournal.com]

Wait, was this real? Please tell me it's real.

Putin said he viewed mysterious forces with suspicion

I'm laughing so hard right now I might cough up a lung

[sabotabby]

To this day I still don't know.