Why yes, yes it was a happy birthday

[sabotabby]

Thank you all for your good wishes. You guys are aweshum.

Anyway, the big deal all over my friends list seems to be that the Republic of Gilead has decreed that all breeding cattle—I mean, women of childbearing age—are pre-pregnant. Now, I'm not American and I'm a dirty Jew* (although not a demographic threat), so I'm not at immediate risk of becoming a walking incubator, but...hot damn, fetuspeople! I've been a non-smoker for about five years but this makes me wish I had a cigarette to go along with my morning coffee. Were I not a bit undecided on the parent issue** I'd start immediately on the task of making my body as inhospitable to blastocysts as possible just to spite 'em.***

In a few hours, there will be a debate in Parliament about Canada's role in Afghanistan. This announcement took the opposition parties by surprise (since I guess they thought that Dear Leader Jr. wouldn't be having debates anymore) and they haven't actually formulated positions or anything. Go, opposition! Way to, like, represent public opinion and stuff.

Here's an idea: Why don't we not fight Bush's wars for him and maybe he won't have so many.

* It's particularly funny because WorldNet Daily is always accusing everyone else of anti-Semitism. I love it when the Right Godwins itself.

** I think I would make a shitty parent, but I haven't ruled out the option entirely.

*** Actually, I have that well under control without the smoking. Those of us with presumably functional girly-bits are advised to avoid contact with cat feces. As many of you have pointed out, this means that it's a man's job to scoop the litter box, but we don't always have one of those around the house. I'm glad my kitties are helping me subvert the American Taliban!

Comments

[finding-rowan.livejournal.com]

Happy (belated) birthday! :)

Also, if new guidelines insist on calling me "pre-pregnant," then I insist on calling myself "pre-abortion."

[sabotabby]

Thank you!

And I don't blame you. The whole thing makes my ovaries want to shrivel up and die.

[frippy.livejournal.com]

GUH!!!! GUH!!!!!!!!

(Trying to compose myself but failing.)

GUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hells, yeah, I will take on your task. I'm going to start smoking, drinking nothing but Irish coffee, and scooping the cat box with my bare hands from now. And when the doctor urges me to think of my ghost fetus, I'll say, "Fuck 'em! Survival of the fittest!"

[sabotabby]

I could so go for some Irish coffee right now.

And one of the cats has diarrhea. Don't know which one; figure it's his or her way of stickin' it to da Man.

[sadie-sabot.livejournal.com]

so here's a question, if I'm already done with the procreation bit (in my mind, anyway!) but am still fertile, etc, am I pre-pregnant, or am I post pregnant?

these deep philosophical questions just get me every time.

[sabotabby]

Are you white, American, and of a desirable social class?

If no, you may proceed directly to Gitmo. If yes, what are you thinking? You need to be pregnant some more so you can do your duty to the Fatherland.

[sadie-sabot.livejournal.com]

well, 2 out of 3...

maybe I should start changing the litter box again.

[sabotabby]

This is the best reason to regularly change the litter box I've ever seen.

[jvmatucha.livejournal.com]

The U.S. infant mortality rate is higher than those of most other industrialized nations...

And that's true only because the U.S. is the only industrialized nation without national healthcare, not because women aren't following pre-pregnant health guidelines. Oooooh! This shit pisses me off! >:O

Jerry Falwell once called on white people to start producing more children, in order to keep up with other races in the United States. Never mind overopopulation, or the fact that more than 40 million white people in this country live in abject poverty. If they really want whities to be makin' more bacon, they should put out that g-damned health care! Right???

Rant rant rant! Okay, I'm done. (For the moment...)

Trying to imagine sabotabby as my mother...

[sabotabby]

Well, as Amanda at Pandagon pointed out, the CDC guidelines aren't horrifically objectionable in and of themselves, and one could easily draw the conclusion that one ought to better plan and space out one's pregnancies and that the U.S. needs better heath care for women whether they're planning to ever have children or not. It's the prevailing social and political climate that makes the report dangerous.

I honestly think I'd be a terrible mother. My opinion on having children depends greatly on the ability of someone else to be a primary parent or having a community around me that's willing to collectively parent. I like kids, and kids generally like me, but I think I'm unable to put a child first in my life. I'd be happy to have one if someone else wanted to do that, though.

[herkyjerkydance.livejournal.com]

Well, at least now I have an excuse to make my boyfriend change the catbox. "But Conrad, THINK OF THE CHILDRENS."

[sabotabby]

That would be totally hilarious.

time for a pre-miscarriage

[daves-goddess.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just remembered, time to change the litter box, buy a pack of smokes and drink my daily bottle of vodka!

Re: time for a pre-miscarriage

[sabotabby]

An entire bottle? You're totally an overachiever. Or Russian.

[threeliesforone.livejournal.com]

umn. women [& all other peoples] should be doing that shit anyway, for their own health & well-being nevermind any potential fetii. then again, as i support a woman doing whatever the fuck she wants while pregnant, i support her doing whatever the fuck she wants while not pregnant. holy fuck.

this makes all the abortions i participated in today all the more sweeter...especially seeing as i got a hug after the last one. hooray!

oh. & i was under the impression that you only had to worry about litter & catshit while you are pregnant.

ps: happy belated! i knew i forgot something.

[sabotabby]

Thanks!

I'm not sure women should be doing all of that—I heard one study linked folic acid to breast cancer, and I've heard conflicting things about cat litter. Someone on Pandagon was saying that if you expose yourself to cat shit when you're not pregnant, it won't be harmful when you are.

Anyway, even if it's all good for your health, putting it in the context of "for your theoretical fetus" instead of "for you" is just ickk.

[finding-rowan.livejournal.com]

That, and most people tend to wash their hands after cleaning the litterbox. (I'd hope so, anyway.)

[frandroid.livejournal.com]

What they're saying is that you might not know you're pregnant ever if you are, so that's why you shouldn't touch the catshit.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

Were I not a bit undecided on the parent issue** I'd start immediately on the task of making my body as inhospitable to blastocysts as possible just to spite 'em.***

Ha. I log on to LJ for the first time since my vasectomy, and find this.

Happy belated birthday, baby.

Let's not have babies together.

[sabotabby]

Haha, thanks!

We should all just get more cats. Of different and beautiful colours.

How're you feeling?

[(Anonymous)]

How're you feeling?

Okay. See my post.

[rohmie.livejournal.com]

Crap. That was me.