The Antisocial Socialist

nihilistic_kid posted a picture. Compare these portraits to English portraits of drunkards in the Edwardian era. Also, their website must be seen to be believed. If I didn't think I'd get in trouble for it, I'd totally show it to my students when I try (in vain, I might add) to teach them why you shouldn't tile a background image and then put red type over it.

It's amusing to poke fun of them, but expect to see more of this sort of thing. American political culture has been steeping in a higher-than-usual amount of crazy for some time now, and it's just beginning to come to a head.

Thank you all for your good wishes. You guys are aweshum.

Anyway, the big deal all over my friends list seems to be that the Republic of Gilead has decreed that all breeding cattle—I mean, women of childbearing age—are pre-pregnant. Now, I'm not American and I'm a dirty Jew* (although not a demographic threat), so I'm not at immediate risk of becoming a walking incubator, but...hot damn, fetuspeople! I've been a non-smoker for about five years but this makes me wish I had a cigarette to go along with my morning coffee. Were I not a bit undecided on the parent issue** I'd start immediately on the task of making my body as inhospitable to blastocysts as possible just to spite 'em.***

In a few hours, there will be a debate in Parliament about Canada's role in Afghanistan. This announcement took the opposition parties by surprise (since I guess they thought that Dear Leader Jr. wouldn't be having debates anymore) and they haven't actually formulated positions or anything. Go, opposition! Way to, like, represent public opinion and stuff.

Here's an idea: Why don't we not fight Bush's wars for him and maybe he won't have so many.

* It's particularly funny because WorldNet Daily is always accusing everyone else of anti-Semitism. I love it when the Right Godwins itself.

** I think I would make a shitty parent, but I haven't ruled out the option entirely.

*** Actually, I have that well under control without the smoking. Those of us with presumably functional girly-bits are advised to avoid contact with cat feces. As many of you have pointed out, this means that it's a man's job to scoop the litter box, but we don't always have one of those around the house. I'm glad my kitties are helping me subvert the American Taliban!

[Poll #703627]

Shorter christianitysex: Q. Am I still a virgin if he only puts it in a little bit?
A. 200+ comment flamewar about how OP is going to Hell.

Link of the day, courtesy of trollprincess.

It's your typical Levitican homophobic bile, made a million times more entertaining with one line: "The young ladies who are fans of Gyllenhaal and Ledger do not want to see them making out."

I'd wager that "Jared" does not have much contact with young heterosexual women, because I'm quite sure that this isn't true. Granted, I have no statistics to back me up, but I think most "young ladies" would want to see that. (If you're wondering, I saw the trailer in the company of a (mostly) heterosexual gentleman, neither of us knowing what it was about. Neither of us were particularly inclined to see it based on the trailer, but we both agreed that Gyllenhaal and Ledger looked very pretty together.)

The cowardly wanker has now turned off comments. Awww. You can still continue to flame his colleague, in a post defending the original post, not that I would ever encourage such behaviour.

[Poll #628255]

I was feeling really down, but luckily, Jesus sent me a miracle. Not a solution to my woes -- no, that kind of thing doesn't happen in real life -- but a showing of Left Behind II: Tribulation Force on the Christian Television Network. This was awesome, because mocking Leviticans is just what was needed to cheer your humble narrator up a bit.

Anyway, I haven't read or seen any of the Left Behind products before, but I've been reading Slacktivist's reviews of the first book, so I knew what I was getting into here. If you think you're going to be lost, you can check out the archives, but they did a nice job of summarizing the first book in about 30 seconds of the movie.

What follows is my summary of the movie so that you can know the Word of God without watching Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains making a damned fool out of himself.

( Spoilers, ahoy! )

The link of the day is Rapture Ready. And yes, it's another one of those Premillennial Dispensationalist sites of which I'm so fond. We all have guilty pleasures, okay?

I've barely begun to explore the wealth of hilarity available on this site. Here are just some of the great things I've found.

Hal Lindsey cartoons!
Why Jesus would vote Republican!
Oops! I missed the Rapture!
Left Behind for Dummies!

Of course, cult members can't just drink the Kool Aid and greet the UFOs without leaving letters to their loved ones, explaining that they're not really dead.

( I'm in Heaven and you're not! Neener-neener-neener! )