Overton Window: Chapter 26-29
Aug. 27th, 2010 10:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabotabbyChapter 26
Kearns and Danny both feel a bit squicky after their meeting with the Teabagger Militia. The plan was that they give the teabaggers the iNuke, the teabaggers give them $20,000, then when the teabaggers go off to nuke the senator, they get a face full of Surprise!SWAT team. Everyone goes home happy. Well, except the teabaggers, who will NEVER BE TAKEN ALIVE.
The problem is that the teabaggers appear to be flat broke, and so the boys wind up having to take their iNuke home with them in a doggie bag instead of leaving it as evidence. The other problem is that the brains of the operation, Elmer, is our missing Fifth Ranger.
“Hey kids! Depleted uranium can be dangerous. Before you touch it, ask an FBI agent if it’s okay.”
Kearns sings along—in a falsetto—to the radio, and Danny asks him why he’s still doing field duty when he’s obviously too old for it.
Can you guess the answer?
Chapter 27
The answer is September 11.
What, you thought Glenn Beck was above shameless emotional manipulation? This is faction!
In the middle of Kearns’ heartwrenching tale, Danny insists on stopping by a place called the Pussycat Ranch to inject what Beck’s readers no doubt perceive as a dose of much-needed heterosexuality into this part of the story. Kearns seems disappointed that it’s a brothel as opposed an establishment better suited to 63-year-old men who live alone with their cats, but he agrees to this plan. But then he remembers that they have the iNuke in the car, so he spots Danny $20 for a beer and lets him go in by himself. This guy is pretty trusting—it’s no wonder his career is a disaster. Of course, Danny texts Molly, because he’s slightly less of an idiot than Kearns is, apparently. He warns her about the sting op and tells her to stay away from Las Vegas, which is good advice for life, really.
Chapter 28
And we’re back to the less exciting couple. Molly’s taken off somewhere, as usual, and Noah is having nightmares. Beck explicitly tells us that there are no zombies in his nightmares, because that would be even slightly interesting, and we can’t have that.
When he wakes up, there’s a woman who’s presumably a doctor. She tells him that it’s now Monday and his father wants to see him.
Chapter 29
I guess Beck is also as bored of his heroes as I am, because we’re back to the slightly more exciting saga of Kearns and Danny and the terror plot. Elmer finally calls back and tells them to meet him in Nevada (gosh, do you think the meeting place will be the phone booth in the Mojave Desert?). Danny fires off another warning e-mail on his “favorite anonymous e-mailing site.” Has Beck even been on the internet before? Is he new?
Kearns loses some points with me when he puts out water for Mr. Bigglesworth in an inverted hubcap. No food? Is he leaving the poor kitty to fend for himself? I am disappointed, Kearns. Very disappointed. I hope you didn't leave your slippers lying around, because I expect that you'll be receiving a present shortly.
Kearns and Danny both feel a bit squicky after their meeting with the Teabagger Militia. The plan was that they give the teabaggers the iNuke, the teabaggers give them $20,000, then when the teabaggers go off to nuke the senator, they get a face full of Surprise!SWAT team. Everyone goes home happy. Well, except the teabaggers, who will NEVER BE TAKEN ALIVE.
The problem is that the teabaggers appear to be flat broke, and so the boys wind up having to take their iNuke home with them in a doggie bag instead of leaving it as evidence. The other problem is that the brains of the operation, Elmer, is our missing Fifth Ranger.
“Hey kids! Depleted uranium can be dangerous. Before you touch it, ask an FBI agent if it’s okay.”
Kearns sings along—in a falsetto—to the radio, and Danny asks him why he’s still doing field duty when he’s obviously too old for it.
Can you guess the answer?
Chapter 27
The answer is September 11.
What, you thought Glenn Beck was above shameless emotional manipulation? This is faction!
In the middle of Kearns’ heartwrenching tale, Danny insists on stopping by a place called the Pussycat Ranch to inject what Beck’s readers no doubt perceive as a dose of much-needed heterosexuality into this part of the story. Kearns seems disappointed that it’s a brothel as opposed an establishment better suited to 63-year-old men who live alone with their cats, but he agrees to this plan. But then he remembers that they have the iNuke in the car, so he spots Danny $20 for a beer and lets him go in by himself. This guy is pretty trusting—it’s no wonder his career is a disaster. Of course, Danny texts Molly, because he’s slightly less of an idiot than Kearns is, apparently. He warns her about the sting op and tells her to stay away from Las Vegas, which is good advice for life, really.
Chapter 28
And we’re back to the less exciting couple. Molly’s taken off somewhere, as usual, and Noah is having nightmares. Beck explicitly tells us that there are no zombies in his nightmares, because that would be even slightly interesting, and we can’t have that.
When he wakes up, there’s a woman who’s presumably a doctor. She tells him that it’s now Monday and his father wants to see him.
Chapter 29
I guess Beck is also as bored of his heroes as I am, because we’re back to the slightly more exciting saga of Kearns and Danny and the terror plot. Elmer finally calls back and tells them to meet him in Nevada (gosh, do you think the meeting place will be the phone booth in the Mojave Desert?). Danny fires off another warning e-mail on his “favorite anonymous e-mailing site.” Has Beck even been on the internet before? Is he new?
Kearns loses some points with me when he puts out water for Mr. Bigglesworth in an inverted hubcap. No food? Is he leaving the poor kitty to fend for himself? I am disappointed, Kearns. Very disappointed. I hope you didn't leave your slippers lying around, because I expect that you'll be receiving a present shortly.
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no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 02:40 pm (UTC)Obv. they are going to go to Burning Man where no-one will even notice when they set off the iNuke.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 02:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 02:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 03:26 pm (UTC)Also, that eagle is stupendous. I by that, I mean... a kind of amazingness that can only grow from, uh, stupid. Hoooooley shit that is an intense and manipulative image. I forget that there are people in the world who like and relate to that kind of crap. I love my bubble life.
p.s. I wore the daffodil dress to sushi that night (+ a child sized green Girl Guides of America cardigan and some pearls) and the waitress confessed that she had a crush on my personal style. Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 03:58 pm (UTC)I thought that dress (and the other one) would look rocking on you.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-28 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-28 12:31 am (UTC)I was a Girl Guide (of Canada) and I always get confused about the US name.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-28 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-29 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-28 10:56 pm (UTC)Seekret /b-tard?
I would also be very suspicious of any nuclear device on sale for a paltry $20,000. But alas, they are militia nuts and Beck knows his audience well.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-29 04:27 am (UTC)/b/ has a few redeeming qualities, and one of them is love of cats.