sabotabby | We have murdered satire and we sit on its corpse like a throne

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sabotabby

I was going to make a post about the latest Drug Fraud shenanigans, but you know what, I'm tired and this is funnier.

Space Force unveils service uniforms with camouflage design

That feel when your cute little galaxy dress and leggings would conceal you better than the American Space Force uniforms would conceal its members from aliens or whatever they think they're hiding from.

Crossposts: https://sabotabby.livejournal.com/1607467.html

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

sara

TBH I think they're just Done with desert khaki. Like, nobody wants to be wearing that shit any more.

From:

sabotabby

True story: A friend of mine is in the army and once they made half of his unit stand on one side of a huge field wearing desert camo with various buttons (tan, silver, and olive) and the other half stand on the other side and say which buttons blended in the most. After I laughed at him for a good five minutes straight, I decided I preferred my tax dollars being spent on this than on doing war crimes.

From:

sara

When Major Dave was active duty it was mostly solid-green flight suits, and I imagine that the space force will end up with something similarly sedate in time. The Army part does love their camo tho and they don't want to look like the USAF or God forbid the Navy.

From:

kore

LOLOLOL the Navy is apparently FINALLY getting rid of the 'blueberry' outfits and now they're getting....the green and tan ones.

From:

springheel_jack

Air Force too. Basically every service branch's fatigues will look the same. Service dress will look different, but space force hasn't said what that will look like. If they're like the Army, they'll change it three times in ten years.

From:

kore

I wonder why. Money?

From:

springheel_jack

I don't know if it's that. They just seemed to spend the last fifteen years badly fucking up the uniforms.

They did it with the camo too - someone decided that having the chocolate chips desert camo along with the woodland stuff was inefficient, so they went to that greyish "universal" pattern, which was supposed to be qually good in urban, woodland, and desert - it was bad in all three. Then they gave the troops going to Afghanistan a commercial "multicam" pattern, which I guess was better, but even still they came up with a new one, which is like multicam but isn't, and that's going to be the new "operational camo" for a fourth set of fatigues issued in the last twenty years.

Service dress uniforms changed twice in that period, too. They discontinued the Army Green which they used for, oh, forty or fifty years, and went to basically a replica of the Union Army dark blue dress uniform, which looked like they were all LARPers or war re-enactors. It was so ridiculous that that uniform lasted less than ten years. Now they're going back to green, but a retro one that looks like the WWII "pinks and greens", like Ike wore all the time. An officer serviing since 2001 will have gone through seven new sets of clothes to wear over that time.

From:

kore

....hunh, now if I were a cynical bastard, I would wonder if there were private companies contracted to supply Army uniforms, who were getting some nice big juicy exclusive deals.

From:

kore

....wait, so these dudes are basically Air Force? Except Trumpty really really wanted something called "Space Force"? Because that's what I'm getting here.

From:

sabotabby

Realistically would you rather be in the Air Force and bomb random Middle Eastern wedding celebrations or would you rather join the FUCKING SPACE FORCE and battle alien invaders IN SPACE.

Except it won’t work because everyone knows there aren’t trees in space so the aliens will spot these yahoos right away. Actually I don’t mind as I think the aliens will do a better job of running the planet than we do.

From:

kore

....but nobody's going to be IN space! They're going to be using the same training facilities and recruitment programs because blah blah they don't want redundancy! Like LITERALLY the one thing Trumpty did was change the name....well no, and probably get more $$$ for the military to use. But then again I guess every dollar spent on stupid "SPACE FORRRRRRRCE" nametags is one that doesn't go to Gitmo.