The Antisocial Socialist

Dear cats,

House centipedes are useful. They eat other, less pleasant bugs. That doesn't change the fact that I am totally petrified of them. Accordingly:

• Feel free to eat the centipedes. Just not all of the centipedes.

• Please do not, however, play with the centipedes and then let them go. I don't want to be finding half-centipedes crawling around, 'cause eww.

• Along the same lines, when you've killed a centipede, please eat it rather than leave it as a present for me.

I know now that you're both mighty hunters, as I saw you playing with a centipede last night. In fact, you kept me up for some time while you caught it, let it go, let the other cat catch it, let it go again, put it in your mouth, rinse, lather, and repeat. I would appreciate if you arranged it so that I didn't actually have to see the spectacle, or the dismembered results.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Sincerely,

sabotabby