The Antisocial Socialist

All day, I kept seeing news headlines proclaiming that Bush was going to "admit that mistakes were made." Of course, I couldn't wait to see what those mistakes were and what the Chimpresident planned to do about them. I was not disappointed!

Check out this bit of Orwellian satire, I mean, Globe and Mail article. Here, we have a classic example of pure, unmitigated stupidity, and the media swallowing it wholesale. Bush "admits" (I am really getting sick of having to use scare quotes all the time) that mistakes were made. Note the use of the passive voice throughout the article and throughout the Bush Administration. "Cookies were stolen from the cookie jar." "Coffee was spilled on the top-secret report." You get the idea.

No one, of course, will confess to making said mistakes, but do we get Bush's explanation about what those mistakes were? You bet! Are you ready for this?

"Military operations sometimes were handcuffed by political interference by the Iraqi leadership.”

Whisky tango foxtrot? The puppet government that Bush installed, you know, the one that's a shining beacon of democracy and freedom in the Middle East*, is the cause of all the problems there. Who knew? Maybe we ought to invade and depose—no, even I'm getting sick of making that joke.

Another beautiful line is this attempt at consensus and solidarity:

“A vast majority of the American people are not satisfied with the progress in Iraq,” Mr. Bartlett said. “President Bush is in their camp. He's not satisfied, he's going to say the strategy was not working, he's going to tell them specifically how we're going to fix the strategy.”

THAT'S RIGHT WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME SIDE HERE. Bush and the dirty hippie protesters in the streets, together at last. We all agree.

Now we can bring on the solution to the Iraqi non-quagmire, non-civil war, cycle of violence thingamabob. Can you guess what it is?

*DRUMROLL*

...more troops.

Which is what he was going to do anyway.

Isn't democracy grand?

EDIT: De-Baathification? Author of Liberty? Was this speech translated through Babelfish?

* It used to be Israel, of course, but Israel no longer has to suffer the burden of being The Only Democracy in the Middle East. It now needs only to be "secure."

First, read this.

I'm glad the lockout is over. I'm also glad that CBC Unplugged isn't going anywhere (or if it is, it will go kicking and screaming) because it has become one of my favourite blogs during its short existence. A lot of the other CBC blogs are really good, too, so it'll be interesting to see which ones stick around.

In other news, I settled up with my landlord today. This guy really knows how to charm a girl, let me tell you. He really likes to talk. He launched into a monologue about the '67 war and how after all of that killing, Israel finally "gave up" Gaza, and what was the point of it all, apparently thinking that it was a very apt metaphor and very appropriate given that his tenant is a Jew. Man, if I'd wanted to cry anti-Semitism I could have had some real fun.

Anyway, he has some relative coming from Greece so he's happy to evict me. In turn, I informed him that I'd fight it. He informed me that the Rental Tribunal were all friends of his, which is probably true, given the complicity of such bodies in tenant exploitation. So after both of us threatening to make the other's life a living hell, he offered to swallow a bit less than half of what I'd withheld. He then went on to another monologue about people with mohawks, and while tuning him out, I contemplated the offer.

I could keep pushing for the whole thing, and legally, I might win, but if the Tribunal is all Greek-landlord mafia, I could get completely screwed, too. If I paid and then appealed to the Tribunal, I might have to end up paying the whole shot. So I went for it and made my landlord sign a note that we'd settled up and there was no money outstanding.

I figure I'll be out of here within six months. Moving will be stressful enough without having to go to court. And I did end up with some discount, at least, and maybe in the future he'll know better than to fuck me around.

In other news, Fearless Leader is two hours late. I don't think he's coming. Of course, if he called to say he was late, lost, etc., it wouldn't have done me any good because the stupid phone has been ringing off the hook all night and no single person in my life seems to understand the meaning of I don't like talking on the phone, I don't have call waiting, and I'm expecting to hear from other people.

EDIT: [The following morning.] Ooops, Fearless Leader did come by, exactly when he said he would. Apparently, my doorbell isn't working (or maybe I just didn't hear it because of the ringing phone). Sorry, Fearless Leader, for implying that you are flakey!

( cut for unadulterated moment of phone anxiety and CAPLOCKS OF RAGE )

Yeah, so I'm glad that's dealt with.