B5, S05E20-22

[sabotabby]

THE LAST EVER B5 POST!

I know, can you contain yourself? I can’t. I am going to spew gifs all over this post and I expect you to as well. It’s been a very long ride and I’m so happy that y’all stuck with me through it and made hilarious comments and sat on your hands so that I could make ridiculous predictions.

Here we go!



Objects In Motion:

Nothing much happens in this one, and I get the impression that the last three episodes are just going to be people saying goodbye. Leaving this episode: G’Kar, Lyta, Garibaldi, and Lise. Arriving this episode, NUMBER ONE AND HER NEW FABULOUS HAIR. Why did we not have this happen at the beginning of the season, with a story about Number One instead of the Space Hippies? Because she is great. And her hair is great. Seriously rocking that look.

Number One is here with a warning: Someone wants to assassinate Garibaldi and Lise before they reach Mars and take over Edgars’ corporation. That someone looks a lot like George Carlin, don’t you think? It’s a bit unnerving. I can’t look at him, shanking security guards and infiltrating B5 intelligence, without expecting him to crack wise about religion or something. He is foiled and Garibaldi uses Lyta to discover that not one board member, but all of them want to kill him and Lise. I can’t blame them; their arc has been mostly really dull this season.

Meanwhile, one of G’Kar’s admirers, the one responsible for those action figures, gets all upset about him leaving. G’Kar breaks an action figure, sending him into a really silly mini-plot where he aims for G’Kar and shoots Lise instead. Unfortunately, she gets better, but Garibaldi doesn’t wait for her to be off the narcotics before marrying her. You know, I really think most people who go for the marriage thing want some sort of ceremony, even if it’s a very small thing at a courthouse, and want to not be on narcotics at the time. I say this as someone who is currently on narcotics all of the time. You want to be at your best, and laid-up in a hospital bed heavily medicated is not your best. Well, I guess unless you’re Lise. Also, can she even consent under these circumstances?

But then there’s a nice twist where Number One replaces Garibaldi as head of ISA intelligence, and there is much rejoicing. Together, they blackmail and threaten the board of Edgars Industries and get them all to resign and it’s hilarious. She then goes off to have victory sex with Franklin. I’m going to miss this show. I am extra amused that when he was hitting that back on Mars, he never got her name (Tessa, for the curious). OH FRANKLIN.

Hey, I’m really glad that G’Kar at least got a happy ending. I mean, even though we know how he dies eventually.

Objects At Rest:

Wait, I was joking about the last three episodes being just people saying goodbye. But I’m thinking that it’s going to actually be that, with a side of #humblebrag, as the kids say. Leaving this episode: Sheridan, Delenn, Franklin, Lennier. G’Kar appoints Ta’Lon to be the new ambassador, and Ta’Lon must be growing as a person because he does not immediately draw his katana and slice open his hand again. See? Character development! Franklin appoints Dr. Whatsherface as his successor because she’s competent. Actually more competent than he is, so it’s an improvement.

Garibaldi finds the most troublesome people in Edgars Industries and promotes them to the board, then sits around gloating with a cigar. Number of fucks I give about this storyline: 0.

Then Lennier shows up. I had forgotten about Lennier and Morden’s “you’re going to betray the Rangers” thing. Or rather, I’d blocked it out because it was stupid. But I am not so lucky because there is a Coolant Link of Plot Contrivance aboard the White Star and Sheridan, by complete coincidence, gets trapped in it, and Lennier doesn’t help him, and seriously, show? Seriously?



There is no point whatsoever to this, other than it I guess resolves the really lame love triangle, which wasn’t even a proper love triangle since there was no question of Delenn ever choosing Lennier. You know what would have made more sense? If she’d appointed him ambassador, because she never appointed a replacement, and then there was some conflict between his duties to the Rangers and his desire to make her happy, and the betrayal arose out of that. At least there would have been some build-up and it wouldn’t seem like Lennier was replaced by a clone.

Come to think of it, did anyone check to see if Lennier was replaced by a clone?

As if there wasn’t enough dumb going on, YOU GUYS I WOULD HAVE LIKED IT BETTER IF THEY JUST LEFT LONDO ON THE THRONE LOOKING SAD. He shows up on Minbar, spontaneously, with his security detail hanging back, to give Sheridan and Delenn Sealed Evil in a Really Ugly Can. Seriously, I hope they put that urn away the second he left, because it is really fugly. And it has a Trapper Keeper in it, obviously. If I knew an untrustworthy bastard who was acting strangely and gave me a present for my future kid that’s probably a pretty valuable (if fugly) heirloom on his home planet, I would probably X-ray that shit. Just saying.

Then Sheridan remembers that he won’t live to see his kid’s 21st birthday and records some hoary wisdom.

That is the whole episode.



Sleeping in Light:

Sheridan dies at the end. And Babylon 5 blows up good. They probably didn’t need a whole 44 minutes for this.

Ivanova, though! She is a general and takes over the Rangers and that is rad. I could do without Lorien being the last person Sheridan sees before dying or ascending or whatever. That’s got to suck. Also, Londo, G’Kar, and Lennier are all dead (*emo tear*) and Vir is Emperor (awesome!) and Garibaldi has a kid and Franklin has grey hair and glasses (good look for him).

And…that’s it. I wish I could write something more substantial about the last few episodes, but they honestly go like this:

“I know we’ve had our differences, but you’re a good friend, and I’ll miss you.” *handshake* *hugs*

Kind of anti-climactic. The last three episodes probably could have been a single episode.

Thoughts on the show overall: Obviously I was into it, or I wouldn’t have kept watching, especially since most of the last season was kind of awful. And I truly appreciate the impact it had on genre TV—you really need to watch every episode, in order, and other than Twin Peaks, I don’t think any other show did that back then. I maybe would have switched the order of wars, so it didn’t fizzle out at the end, but I did like the idea that after the huge conflicts, there were all of these little fires to put out and diplomatic kerfuffles and that nothing ever completely got resolved. It’s messy and sprawling and its reach exceeds its grasp—just like real life.


Here's one more sad lizard, just for old time's sake. Because I'll miss this show.

So, yeah, it's been a trip. Thanks for getting me into it, intertubes. Anything else I should see?

Comments

[funnel101.livejournal.com]

Have you seen Farscape?

[sabotabby]

I have! Loved it.

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

You probably already know this, but JMS was given the impression that the show wouldn't get a fifth season, so he tried to compress all the intended storylines of what would have been the last two seasons into Season 4. When he got word that the show got signed on for a fifth season at the last minute, most of his planned stories were already used, leaving only the Drakh (uhh, I mean, drek) and stuff that foreshadowed events that were mentioned in the super-distant finale.

[sabotabby]

Yeah, and it's obvious. Because singing telepaths. That is an act of desperation if I ever saw one.

[seaya.livejournal.com]

Watch "In the Beginning!"

[sabotabby]

Oh, okay.

[funnel101.livejournal.com]

Wait, you haven't watched the movies??? Watch them! (Except the most recent one, because it kind of sucked.)

[sabotabby]

I watched the first one. Might watch In the Beginning tonight.

[sabotabby]

But Mad Men.

[sabotabby]

I love them and Breaking Bad and Oz and Deadwood all for approximately the same reasons.

[sabotabby]

I am a sucker for deconstructions of machismo and also really long story arcs, which all of those have in droves. I still haven't seen past Season 1 of The Wire, which I'm assured I'll love for the same reason, because I found it really triggering.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

Really? I would think that a show set in the 60s that shows the limitations of the gender roles of the time and how people overcame them or were trapped by them that reveals that the "real men" were much more limited than most would be the kind of thing that you would like.

Well, without that Dr. Rapist storyline. No one likes the Dr. Rapist storyline (well until this season when Joan kicks him out).

[calapine.livejournal.com]

THE LAST EVER B5 POST!

END OF AN ERA, BB.

My flist is now LESS GOOD.

(I sort of love that sod all happens at the end - when I've been with a show for a long time, I do want a massive drawn out endless farewell, because I am just rotten at goodbyes.)

[sabotabby]

I think I'd have wanted it if I was watching in real time. I remember being absurdly grateful for the drawn-out goodbye that was the last episode of DS9, and super-annoyed at shows that tried to tie everything up too quickly.

[sabotabby]

Hahaha. JMS gives good snark when he wants to.

Blowing up B5 is one of those Big Iconic Moments (Tara getting shot, Buffy's gravestone, &c) that makes powerful emotional sense when you see it but really doesn't stand up to logic at all. It does fit nicely into the prophecies that it would "end in fire," but uh yeah, that's it.

Totally. It didn't bother me watching it and then I was like, "Wait, what?"

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

Also, can she even consent under these circumstances?

Actually, no! (My brother had the excellent sense to develop appendicitis on his wedding day. My sister found him at 4am, lying in a pool of vomit on the bathroom floor, croaking, "It's just nerves." They were able to get married at the hospital, but he couldn't have anything stronger than paracetamol or the marriage certificate wouldn't be valid. So there are some wonderful photos of my brother, in his suit, looking really happy and really nauseated, and then my brother being taken away in a wheelchair by the surgical team while his new wife stands awkwardly in the corridor. Great stuff.)

[sabotabby]

That is truly romantic. I didn't know things like that happened IRL!

[sabotabby]

And isn't she PREGNANT? Way to be non-awesomely heteronormative, show. Sigh.

Is she? I hope not. The kid doesn't look as old as 20 in the last episode.

I just refuse to watch the ep when that happens. I leave the room. LA LA LA LENNIER IS STILL AWESOME I CAN'T HEAR YOU

I am sticking with this.

I think ANYTHING would have made more sense than "Hey Sheridan's going to die! I can book! OH WAIT NOT REALLY...." I mean, did he think Delenn would just fall into his arms instead of be devastated? Would he just lie about it to her? It even would have worked, maybe, if he'd had just A Moment of indecision and then felt like he'd betrayed Delenn and the Rangers blahblah. God it was so stupid. And entirely uncharacteristic.

Or have him do something deliberately. I mean, he didn't make the Coolant Leak of Plot Contrivance happen, did he? He just took advantage of it, and it was pure coincidence that Sheridan was even there.

AND THEN IT'S ALL UNRESOLVED. WTF happens to Lyta? How does G'kar get back to Centauri Prime? What happens to Bester? Does their rug rat really open that stupid urn? What happens to Lennier? TOO BAD, aren't you glad we spent all that time on singing telepaths? Yeah. (And novelizations don't count.)

It's all there in the tie-in novels, which I don't care about.

Did you catch that the guy who turns off the lights is actually JMS? Well, you wouldn't know that unless you were a raging fan at the time like me or heard the commentary. But that's him.

I saw it on the Wikipedia, but didn't catch that watching.

[sabotabby]

"My ex-husband knocked me up and then abruptly left, taking the kid with him as soon as it was born, then I remarried two more times and it's all good because I made a replacement kid." Mother of the Year, that one.

[sabotabby]

I hate everything involving her. I don't understand how they can have so many compelling female characters and yet so much genderfail with her.

[sabotabby]

In hindsight, Sakai comes off as a nuanced, well-developed character portrayed by an excellent actress.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's just because Sakai was associated with Sinclair and their scenes were the black hole of emotional awkwardness.

But I still wish that there were more Sakai storylines after that first season.

With Lise, there's just nothing. Bad actress. Bad dialogue. No real story of her own. The fact that JMS could write decent female characters makes her just that much worse.

[ginny-t.livejournal.com]

I actually had to stop that second last episode when Lennier didn't help Sheridan. I was so upset. I very seriously didn't consider even finishing, but I'd made it through the [expletive] space hippies, so I was going to make it to the end, damnit!

That's why in my headcanon, Lennier goes to be a ranger and is never seen again, but his influence is felt. Relatedly, everything that happens after Sheridan and Delenn leave B5 doesn't actually happen (except maybe Vir's upside down romps in bed with two women, 'cause yeah).

When they blew up B5, all I could think of was "space debris! You're never going to be able to fly in this sector again!" Yeah, ugh. (Maybe that wasn't a thing yet in the late 1990s. IDEK.)

[sabotabby]

I actually had to stop that second last episode when Lennier didn't help Sheridan. I was so upset. I very seriously didn't consider even finishing, but I'd made it through the [expletive] space hippies, so I was going to make it to the end, damnit!

It's stupid and makes no sense, therefore, never happened. HEADCANON.

(except maybe Vir's upside down romps in bed with two women, 'cause yeah).

This clearly happened because it's hilarious.

When they blew up B5, all I could think of was "space debris! You're never going to be able to fly in this sector again!" Yeah, ugh. (Maybe that wasn't a thing yet in the late 1990s. IDEK.)

That also made no sense, actually. Why blow it up? Also, Epsilon III is still there and you want to keep an eye on that shit.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

Aw, and now I'm gonna miss these posts!

Okay, you totally have to go watch Crusade and do the same thing. It was really good and had the potential for greatness but somehow, even after them going back and shooting about five new first episodes (complete with a totally new, far less subtle pilot, because TBS or whoever was hosting it wanted to open with a fight scene to suck in the wrestling fans, and also to be more obvious because their average viewer was a moron or something), it got cancelled before the first episode even aired. The hell.

So there's about thirteen episodes out there, and some really awesome characters (I absolutely adore Galen), and the whole thing is pretty much a D&D party (complete with the Paladin, the Thief, the Wizard, the Cleric, etc etc etc) and there's even an awesome what-I-assume-is-totally-a-D&D episode which has Galen's actor's real-life dad playing another Techno-mage and is hilarious-- anyways it is really awesome and should never have been cancelled and you should totally do Crusade too. There aren't too many episides.

Plus it ends up that the B5 universe has cross-species porn, which is awesome. XD

[sabotabby]

You are seriously tempting me here. I did adore the technomages. Though I may have to break for Season 5 of Mad Men, because I haven't watched that yet. And new Breaking Bad is on its way.

But. D&D. Cross-species porn. That sounds awesome.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

Plus Lochley is back in a major role... ;-D

There is a movie that leads into it, but I forget which one it is now. I suppose it isn't strictly necessary to see it first, but you may want to. It had some fun scenes with Garibaldi during the official launch of the Excalibur, if nothing else.

Looks like the whole series (what there is of it) is online here.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

I bought the Crusade Bible off of ebay after it was canceled. The Bible says that Lyta and Lennier both died in the Telepath War and that Galen wanted the captain to become a technomage himself.

But yeah, I was really hoping that show could have gone on for five years.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

Also you may want to read this thread which discusses the correct viewing order. TNT's interference did not make things simple and straightforward, as it ends up.

Mind you, I've been watching them in the order they are on the DVD and haven't run into horrible continuity issues yet, but I've only watched the first three so far, so...

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

I was comparing it to season one of B5 and it was MUCH better than season one of B5.

Also I liked Gary Cole, Daniel Dae Kim and the actor playing Galen so that got me over the WTF episodes.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

The big revelation I had with season 5 of Mad Men is that i really LIKED Megan. I was all prepared to hate her after the end of season 4 and she was the secretary that married Don out of nowhere, but she really won me over as a fully realized and interesting character.

And there were 3 Betty episodes TOTAL.

[sabotabby]

What? Really? I freaking love Betty episodes. I'm probably the only one but still.

I feel really bad for Megan. I'm interested to see what they do with her.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

I've always been more partial to Peggy as the hero of the show.

But I look forward to see what you thought of this season. I loved it.

[sabotabby]

Peggy is my favourite ever, but I find Betty incredibly compelling.

I am enjoying it so far! Stan, of all people, is amusing me greatly.

[funnel101.livejournal.com]

Rob and I enjoyed "Crusade", though we both felt it could have been better.

Also, here's an icon for posting about it! :P

And here are some more suggestions:

"Red Dwarf": British sci-fi comedy about 2 shipmates who happen to hate each other who end up, coincidentally, being the last 2 humans alive... or so they think.

"Doctor Who": the new series is actually pretty good. You'll particularly appreciate Christopher Eccleston.

"Jeremiah": also written by JMS, post-apocalyptic sci-fi.

[sabotabby]

The only one of those I haven't seen is Jeremiah. Is there a lot of it?

[funnel101.livejournal.com]

2 seasons.

I don't know if you're at all interested in non-sci-fi, but you'd probably enjoy "Coupling", "The IT Crowd", and "Black Books".

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed Crusade; I've been rewatching it online.

As someone said (a few times) over on IMDB, yes, the series as it exists can be kind of disjointed (not having any perfect, "Watch them in this order and everything will make sense" viewing order thanks to TNT's interference); but if you look at just the first thirteen episodes of B5's season one, you get a lot of unexceptional episodes there, and none f the really good ones that get into the arc. And the first thirteen episodes of Crusade do seem (not that it's objective lol) stronger than the first thirteen of Babylon, and look how awesome that ended up being!

I may never forgive TNT for screwing it over so badly. At the very least they could have allowed the last three episodes of teh season to air and then not trashed the sets etc, so The SciFi Channel or Space (Canadian version) would have been able to pick it up for the next season. As it was, they both desperately tried to find room to pick it up in their budgets, but it was cancelled after their budgets had been finalized for the season, and neither could fit it in there. :(

Yes! Red Dwarf is amazing and hilarious and if you haven't seen it yet, Sabotabby, you definitely should! :D You'll love it. It's great.

There used to be a really nifty show called Lexx as well, that was very weird and interesting and cool, and I don't think anyone else even remembers it (mid-90's or so? [late 90's-early oughts, according to IMDB. Went four seasons!]). It was a scifi show jointly done by Canada and I think Sweden, so you know it's going to be a bit odd, heh heh heh.

[sabotabby]

I've seen Red Dwarf, though not all of it and probably not enough of it. I didn't much like the attempt to revive it, though I admired that it was about 15 minutes from start to first strong implication of tentacle porn.

Lexx! Oh man. I loved the miniseries, and then I was thrilled to see that it became a show, only I recall the show going from lolarious to sucktastic fairly quickly.

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

The Centauri book seems to be the only one that really resolves the dangling plots of the series. In it, you find out that Londo tried to hook up with his wife but the Drakh were getting too close, Vir figured out what was going on early and got the technomages to help him run a terrorist campaign and Londo adopted Refa's daughter.

Also, Sheridan's kid got a keeper attached to him but all they had to do to get rid of it was to kill the Drakh that was controlling it. That's it. Poor Londo never figured that one out and chose to go with the "I get drunk so I can tell people stuff" move.

The one scene I liked was at the end when Vir makes himself known, the Drakh blow up Centauri Prime (hence the fires in that future episode) and then the Technomages got rid of the rest of the bombs. As soon as G'Kar and Londo strangled each other (and Londo was keeping G'Kar as a "prisoner" for about a decade) Vir becomes emperor by mentioning that the first emperor had a technomage and "I got three of you guys" and they basically call him a wise-ass and accede to his demands.

So there. Just saved you from Peter David's perfectly adequate prose.

[sabotabby]

I may have enjoyed watching that. I certainly would have enjoyed it more than Space Hippies.